


Team Player

by BadRomantic



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: #When you need to go back and edit John's whole dialogue, Aaron Burr is Trans, Aaron is a huge animal lover, Aaron is in his rebellious teenager phase, Alex honestly just fangirls over everything, Alexander used Rage beam, Angelica is a snoop, Arachnophobia, Charles Lee is the coffee guy btw, Disney prince Aaron, Duck penis has been mentioned over twice time for me to put it in the tags, F/F, Gender Issues, Genderfluid Eliza, Gosh look at all this foreshadowing, Help, I REGRET NOTHING, Inaccurate birthday dates dont take my word for it, Instead of husband and wife the Prevosts are brother and sister, Irish Hercules, Keeping up a plot whilst trying to make this funny is so hard, King George is a FUCK BOY, Laf is french i know thats an unpopular headcanon but here he is so, Lyaf has arachnophobia, M/M, Party, Plate with legs, Plot thickens, Shaving cream ads, Someone called Aaron a disney prince so, Spanish John, THOMAS LIT HIS HOUSE ON FIRE, Thomas used Mocha wave, Trans Male Character, poly ships, saves your face from hairs and your house from scares, super effective, text au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-27
Updated: 2016-11-27
Packaged: 2018-08-11 07:52:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 48
Words: 57,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7882924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadRomantic/pseuds/BadRomantic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I joined this Text AU thing OMGG<br/>poly ship for the win you can't stop me<br/>it's also much more interesting / fun to write so</p><p>Alexander sees a cute boy, but... Jefferson and Madison have grown fond of him too. When Alexander gets his boyfriends aware of said cute boy, they all want a piece. Problem is, will Thomas and James allow it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ginger.ale[x] - Alex H.  
> john.looksie - John L.  
> lyaf - G. Lafayette  
> Herc aderp - Hercules M.  
> ManoftheTV - Thomas J.  
> J.MadIsOn - James M.  
> a.burr - Aaron Burr  
> angelcake - Angelica S.  
> cosplay.goddess - Maria R.  
> matty - Matthias O.  
> Jon.BallIsLife - Jonathan B.  
> Kingsley - King George III  
> Adams - John A.  
> R.Mont - R. Montgomery

ginger.ale[x]: im not crazy right 

ginger.ale[x]: you guys see it dont you

herc aderp: i see dead people

lyaf: thats not nice John looks very nice today

john.looksie: for 1 fuck u

john.looksie: 4 two why

john.looksie: for three, what do you see alex I am genuinely curious 

herc aderp: its because i love you

john.looksie: not you bby

lyaf: hue

herc aderp: i guESS SOMEONE DOESNT NEED THE LOVE

ginger.ale[x]: god dammit guys this is serious

john.looksie: you said that about the vanilla icecream too tho

herc aderp: are you insinuating that vanilla ice cream isnt serious??

john.looksie: is laf more expensive than kim kardashian?????

lyaf: i calmly resort to saying

lyaf: fuck u

herc aderp: 10/10 100% fire response tasteful bandaging

john.looksie: tasteful bandaging

ginger.ale[x]: i want normal friends

lyaf: its not healthy to have high expectations alexander

herc aderp: OWNED

john.looksie: what you want fam ham we're here for you

john.looksie: i mean technically im fucking getting shoveled into the ground

john.looksie: because someone here wont stop talking to thEIR BOYFRIEND

john.looksie: AND DISSING ME,,??1!!1

herc aderp: when you get to level 5 on Pokemon Go

herc aderp: you can talk to us

lyaf: after you choose team Mystic

herc aderp: FUCK YOU TEAM VALOR

ginger.ale[x]: GUYS GOD DAMMIT LISTEN

ginger.ale[x]: also john if u love urself and respect urself

ginger.ale[x]: you'd be team Instinct

john.looksie: oml

herc aderp: i will let that slide because team instinct is full of munchkin baby men

lyaf: i will not let this slide

lyaf: vas te faire encule

herc aderp: OH BOY OH BOY I FINALLY GET TO USE MY NEW FRENCH APP

ginger.ale[x]: but guys there's a cute dude

john.looksie: WHAT FRENCH APP

herc aderp: GLAD YOU ASKED MY MUNCHKIN CHILD

herc aderp: BECAUSE LAF HERE THINKS HE CAN GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING IN FRENCH

herc aderp: MY APP TELLS ME WHAT HE'S SAYING

lyaf: o

herc aderp: and here it says,,,,

herc aderp: i am an asshole who joined team mystic just because the team color was thE COLOR OF MY SHIRT

john.looksie: OMGGGGG NO

ginger.ale[x]: GUYS.

lyaf: i will not confirm or deny this

john.looksie: SC R E AM I N G  IS THIS TRUE

herc aderp: HAND ON THE HOLY BIBLE OF BABY JOSE

ginger.ale[x]: 1) ur gonna piss off the man from above 

ginger.ale[x]: 2) I JUST SAID I SAW A CUTE GUY AND WHAT DO YOU NERDS DO???

ginger.ale[x]: OH HEY POKEMON GO

ginger.ale[x]: IM HAVING A SEXUALITY CHRISIS AND YA'LL DO WHAT

ginger.ale[x]: TALK BOUT YO DAMN PIKACHUS AND GYM SPOKES PEOPLE

john.looksie: im s or ry 

john.looksie: did you just call gym leaders

john.looksie: gym spokes people

lyaf: also mon ami aren't you bisexual

ginger.ale[x]: laf let me be dramatic for once

herc aderp: i have prayed for forgivness from the man from above

herc aderp: aka nicolas cage

ginger.ale[x]: ,,,

lyaf: hue

john.looksie: IS NICOLAS CAGE DEAD OMG

john.looksie: NOOOOOOOOO

john.looksie: WHY GOD WHY

herc aderp: NO HE'S NOT DEAD IM SORRY BABY

john.looksie: YOU SCARED THE FUCK OUTTA ME HERC

ginger.ale[x]: mnot gonna lie i had a little heart episode too

john.looksie: lafayette is fucking laughing his ass off

lyaf: THE FACE YOU MADE

ginger.ale[x]: GOD DAMMIT GUYS STOP HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S ABOUT TO LEAVE WHAT DO I DO

ginger.ale[x]: HE'S SO CUTE GUYS I WANNA SAY HELLO

lyaf: i dunno alex

lyaf: when you say hello you say a lot more

john.looksie: like seven paragraphs of hello

ginger.ale[x]: fuck

ginger.ale[x]: i hate my life.

john.looksie: what's wrong baby

herc aderp: did he call you something really weird

herc aderp: like cousin

lyaf: what happen, ami? 

ginger.ale[x]: Guess who just walked in here with his dumb yet slightly clever boyfriend and sat beside said hot kid

ginger.ale[x]: what if they're all dating

herc aderp: "poly bros" VS "poly hoes"

john.looksie: are we the hoes

herc aderp: damn str8 son

lyaf: should i ask thomas and madison??

ginger.ale[x]: NO DONT ENCOURAGE THEIR POLY NATURE I WANT HIM

ginger.ale[x]: also why are we the hoes jefferson is more than likely to have an std wth

ginger.ale[x]: double also would you actually do that laf??

ginger.ale[x]: that wouldn't look weird or anything

lyaf: oh no, itll look weird

lyaf: but i do like gossip and if thomas and james are taking in a newbie i wanna be the first one to destroy his confidence

herc aderp: everybody watch out lafayette is fucking ready

herc aderp: his pistols r loaded

herc aderp: hips are popped

herc aderp: lizard tongue doing its lizard thing

john.looksie: omg

ginger.ale[x]: more like snake tongue

herc aderp: DOWN GOES THE BALL AS HAMILTON CLEARS THE COURT

john.looksie: THIS CHAT IS SHIT

lyaf: im not even mad

ginger.ale[x]: NO BUT ON A SERIOUS NOTE ILY LAF PLEASE ASK

ginger.ale[x]: PRETEND LIKE IM NOT INTERESTED THO


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ginger.ale[x] - Alex H.  
> john.looksie - John L.  
> lyaf - G. Lafayette  
> Herc aderp - Hercules M.  
> ManoftheTV - Thomas J.  
> J.MadIsOn - James M.  
> a.burr - Aaron Burr  
> angelcake - Angelica S.  
> cosplay.goddess - Maria R.  
> matty - Matthias O.  
> Jon.BallIsLife - Jonathan B.  
> Kingsley - King George III  
> Adams - John A.  
> R.Mont - R. Montgomery

_lyaf has started a chat with ManoftheTV and J.MadIsOn._

 

lyaf: yo

ManoftheTV: bad time, Laf

lyaf: why

lyaf: is it because youre

lyaf: ON A DATE

J.MadIsOn: I thought I saw Hamilton over there

ManoftheTV: of fucking course he's over there

ManoftheTV: laf my friend

ManoftheTV: im going to dump my coffee on his head

lyaf: because i am his boyfriend

lyaf: therefor his protecter

lyaf: i have to lightly imply to you that i do not want you to spill coffee on his head

lyaf: however that would make for an interesting conversation

ManoftheTV: i'm going to do it

J.MadIsOn: Thomas I s2g

J.MadIsOn: Don't scare away Burr he's already on the edge of his seat

ManoftheTV: that's because he doesnt know what the fuck is going on

lyaf: wait a diddly darn second

lyaf: who's Burr

lyaf: isnt that the thing you do when you're cold

J.MadIsOn: I'm screenshotting this

ManoftheTV: YES IT IS THE THING YOU DO WHEN YOURE COLD

ManoftheTV: BUT IN THIS CASE; HE IS COLD.

ManoftheTV: I pointed Hamilton out to him and he's blatantly dissing him

ManoftheTV: i'm in love

J.MadIsOn: 23% offended

lyaf: what the fuck is he saying

lyaf: ill kick his ass

ManoftheTV: I DONT THINK HE REALIZES WHAT HE'S SAYINg

lyaf: imma walk straight down to that corner and bitch slap all of you

ManoftheTV has sent a video.

lyaf: give me a moment please

 

 

lyaf: I'M BACK 

ginger.ale[x]: what THE FUCK YOU DO

ginger.ale[x]: THE HOT KID IS GLANCING AT ME

ginger.ale[x]: AFTER I HEARD THOMAS SAY OVER THERE

Herc aderp: HA

john.looksie: ALEX JUST WAVE AND SAY HELLO

lyaf: NO THATS A NONO DONT SAY HELLO

lyaf has forwarded video from ManoftheTV with the caption: HE SOLD YOU OUT

ginger.ale[x]: I WILL MURDER THOMAS JEFFERSON I STG 

john.looksie: HOLY CRAP HE JUST

Herc aderp: tag yourself i'm "His socks don't match"

john.looksie: "The coat is misbuttoned, does he not realize that?"

ginger.ale[x]: IM SORRY THAT I WAS IN A RUSH

ginger.ale[x]: WORKING FOR WASHINGTON

john.looksie: the new pop song of 2016

Herc aderp: I'm doin it

Herc aderp has invited angelcake and cosplay.goddess to the chat

john.looksie: omG

ginger.ale[x]: WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO

angelcake: WHY ARE WE YELLING

cosplay.goddess: What the heck guys why am i here i dont even talk to you

ginger.ale[x]: My shame

Herc aderp: SCROLL UP 

cosplay.goddess: OH MY GODTHATS AARON BURR

cosplay.goddess: OMGG HES CRACKLING DOWN ON YOU 

ginger.ale[x]: I AM SHAMED

ginger.ale[x]: WAIT A FYCKING SECOND

ginger.ale[x]: You know him??!

Herc aderp: Biggest plot twist of 2016

cosplay.goddess: FUCK YEAH I KNOW HIM

cosplay.goddess: BOI TOOK CARE OF ME

angelcake: 50% irritated

cosplay.goddess: not like that sweetie i love you

angelcake: DO YOU THO

cosplay.goddess: BOI HELPED ME KEEP MY HOUSE AND EVERYTHING ELSE 

ginger.ale[x]: MY INTEREST HAS PEAKED 

john.looksie: oh boy did he sleep with the dean

Herc aderp: listen john 

Herc aderp: nobody knows what movie that is from

Herc aderp: so just fucking tell us what movie it is

john.looksie: maybe

lyaf: huehue

Herc aderp: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

angelcake: my god you guys are dorks

ginger.ale[x]: ALEXANDER HAMILTON WANTS TO KNOW THE DEETS.

cosplay.goddess: oh right

cosplay.goddess: Boi that's Aaron Burr he fucking slayed my husband in court

cosplay.goddess: he even charged me less

ginger.ale[x]: He's a lawyer

cosplay.goddess: but why is he slicing you

cosplay.goddess: and who is giggling in the background they sound adorable

john.looksie: I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING

cosplay.goddess: OOOOH

lyaf: I think that's Thomas

cosplay.goddess: OOAAHHHHH

angelcake: WHAT NO WAY

john.looksie: IM SO ANGRY NO

Herc aderp: YEAH THAT IS THOMAS

ginger.ale[x]: BULLSHIT NO 

john.looksie: I REFUSESEE

cosplay.goddess: MY ONE HEADACHE IN LIFE HAS BROUGHT ME FREEDOM BY GIGGLING I CANT

angelcake: I DEMAND SOMEONE ELSE MAKE THOMAS GIGGLE

ginger.ale[x]: THIS IS B U L L SH I T

Herc aderp: IT NEVER OCCURED TO ME THAT YALL HAVE NEVER HEARD THOMAS GIGGLE

john.looksie: THIS IS 100% A GOOD DAY 

ginger.ale[x]: FOR Y O U

ginger.ale[x]: A DOT BURR JUST FUCKING ROASTED ME

angelcake: he was so casual about it

angelcake: how is someone that fucking casual about savagry

lyaf: i think he's just pointing things out without knowing that he sounds fucking evol

cosplay.goddess: YO USHOULD HAVE SEEN HIM ROAST JAMES

cosplay.goddess: HE ONLY GOT AWAY WITH IT BECAUSE HE HAD A STRAIGHT FACE THE ENTIRE TIME AND HIS VOICE WAS AS SMOOTH AS WATER OVER STONE

cosplay.goddess: "Selling your wife for personal financial gain is completely acceptable in the Reynolds family, we've established this, but I would like to know as to how James Reynolds conjoured up the idea. Especially since he dropped out of High School." 

john.looksie: HOOLLYYY SHHIIITTTT

Herc aderp: I WANT THAT ON MY HEADBOARD 

ginger.ale[x]: I'm in love

lyaf: damn

angelcake: NOW I GOTTA MEET THE GUY

lyaf: I JUST REALIZED I LEFT THOMAS AND MADISON TO AARON JUST TO SHOW YOU ALL THAT VIDEO HOLD UP

 

 

lyaf: i am back

ManoftheTV: Alexander is cackling why

J.MadIsOn: ditto 

lyaf: unimportant i has a specific question of utmost importance

ManoftheTV: no the answer is no

J.MadIsOn: shut up thomas

ManoftheTV: My hear t has sha t t e r ed 

J.MadIsOn: 70% irritated

J.MadIsOn: it's about Burr isnt it

lyaf: may or may not be

J.MadIsOn: angelica just texted me asking if we were dating him and if she can be at the wedding

lyaf: well now that we're on this topic

lyaf: are you dating him

ManoftheTV: Yes

J.MadIsOn: No

lyaf: ,,, i smell a lair

ManoftheTV: ALRIGHT WERE NOT

ManoftheTV: but soon

J.MadIsOn: Thomas is tryna get burr

ManoftheTV: James is acting like he doesnt want a bit of Aaron

J.MadIsOn: 100% guilty 

lyaf: i see the darkness

lyaf: i must run away before it engulfs me

 

 

lyaf: okay so good news

lyaf: they aint dating

ginger.ale[x]: FIST PUMPS

lyaf: bad news

ginger.ale[x]: clenches fist

Herc aderp: pls

lyaf: they're tryna get Aaron

angelcake: god dammit you guys arent gonna have some gay war are you

lyaf: no of course not

ginger.ale[x]: FUCK YEAH WE ARE

ginger.ale[x]: WERE GONNA STEAL THEIR CANNONS AND SHOOT THEM

Herc aderp: ye gotta

Herc aderp: save the gurll

john.looksie: that joke is only funny because youre a Cancer herc

Herc aderp: sounds like something a scorpio would say

john.looksie: IM NOT A SCORPIO STOP

cosplay.goddess: im totally up for a gay war

cosplay.goddess: oh shit boi ya'll want his user?

Herc aderp: HE HAS ONE

john.looksie: OMGG YESS

ginger.ale[x]: YES WE DO 

lyaf: 100% yes

angelcake: WHY DO YOU HAVE HIS USER MARI

angelcake: YOU BETTER NOT BE SENDING MY RECIPES TO HIM

cosplay.goddess: TBH I DID SEND HIM ONE

angelcake: 300% READY TO FIGHT

ginger.ale[x]: HEY

ginger.ale[x]: I WANT THE USER

cosplay.goddess: okay but first you gotta answer my secret question

ginger.ale[x]: which is

cosplay.goddess: would you rather wear icecream or nachos as clothing?

john.looksie: THATS FROM SHANE DAWSONS MOVIE

cosplay.goddess: YEAH IT IS

Herc aderp: ONE OF US ONE OF US

ginger.ale[x]: ,,,

ginger.ale[x]: okay but like thats a hard question does the icecream melt and does the nachos stay extremely warm or

cosplay.goddess: the icecream is always freezing but not enough to give you frostbite n all and never melts and the nachos r always luke warm

ginger.ale[x]: icecream

cosplay.goddess: a.burr

ginger.ale[x]: I COULD HAVE GUESSED THAT


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ginger.ale[x] - Alex H.  
> john.looksie - John L.  
> lyaf - G. Lafayette  
> Herc aderp - Hercules M.  
> ManoftheTV - Thomas J.  
> J.MadIsOn - James M.  
> a.burr - Aaron Burr  
> angelcake - Angelica S.  
> cosplay.goddess - Maria R.  
> matty - Matthias O.  
> Jon.BallIsLife - Jonathan B.  
> Kingsley - King George III  
> Adams - John A.  
> R.Mont - R. Montgomery

ginger.ale[x]: wait i just realized how can i text him casually

john.looksie: pretend you killed someone

ginger.ale[x]: or i can ACTUALLY kill someone...

lyaf: I would like you to not be in jail

Herc aderp: I would like you to kill someone

ginger.ale[x]: thanks herc ur my pal tbh

Herc aderp: I HAVE BEEN PAL ZONED

john.looksie: OH NO

cosplay.goddess: PAL ZO N E D 

angelcake: PAL PROTECTION PROGRAM

ginger.ale[x]: PAL

ginger.ale[x]: PERSON (WITH) ALL (OF MY) LOVE

lyaf: you lying piece of gay

lyaf: you made that up

john.looksie: piece of gay omg

Herc aderp: ILL TAKE IT IM YO PAL 

angelcake: pal protection program - terminated 2016

cosplay.goddess: why dont we just add him into the chat

cosplay.goddess: i can be like WHAT UP HOE

ginger.ale[x]: wont he be able to scroll up and see our gay

john.looksie: is that necessarily a bad thing

lyaf: consequences consequences

Herc aderp: to throw thomas and james under the bus or not to throw

john.looksie: wait

john.looksie: how would we do that

Herc aderp: p clear if you scroll up that Thomas and Madison are trying to get him to date

ginger.ale[x]: this shall be a vote

ginger.ale[x]: that I judge

ginger.ale[x]: say bro if you want to make a new chat

ginger.ale[x]: say hoe if you want to add him to this one

cosplay.goddess: adding him to a new chat can be like an "accident" tho

ginger.ale[x]: shut the fuck up with yall voting i want to listen to Maria

john.looksie: nobody even voted yet

cosplay.goddess: i can make the chat n be like listen hoes i have a party this coming tuesday and pretend i didnt mean to bring aaron into this

cosplay.goddess: then i can invite him too!

angelcake: that's really fricken smart wow

Herc aderp: I AGREE WHOLEHEARTEDLY DO IT

lyaf: that has my vote

ginger.ale[x]: then it's settled everybody has voted for her idea

john.looksie: I DIDNT VOTE

ginger.ale[x]: NO ONE CARES JOHN

lyaf: nobody cares jon

Herc aderp: shut up john

john.looksie: I hate you

 

 

_cosplay.goddess has started a chat with ginger.ale[x], john.looksie, Herc aderp, a.burr, lyaf, angelcake._

cosplay.goddess: HEY WHAT UP IM HAVING A PARTY ON TUESDAY AT 8 WHO'S IN

john.looksie: OH BOY 

Herc aderp: who the fuck says oH BOY JOHN

ginger.ale[x]: inwardly cringing

angelcake: you guys are fucking

angelcake: WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH YOU 

a.burr: I seem to have been accidentally invited to this chat, so I'll just find my exit

ginger.ale[x]: I HEARD YOU TALKIN SHIT BRO 

lyaf: this is a fucking trainwreck 

lyaf: ALEXANDER NO

a.burr: Alexander?

cosplay.goddess: YO BURR WHAT UP HOMIE 

a.burr: Being interogated by what I suspect to be are two flamboyant policemen undercover 

Herc aderp: SCREENSHOTTING

john.looksie: TWO FLAMBOYANT POL IC E MEN UND ER COVE R

ginger.ale[x]: All is forgiven

cosplay.goddess: What do you mean being interogated should I kick their asses with my 100$ vase

a.burr: You're still inlove with that vase?

a.burr: Also, no, don't beat them up.

ginger.ale[x]: why didn't you just say kick their asses

ginger.ale[x]: ARE YOU SCARED TO CUSS

Herc aderp: OH BOY OHBOY

john.looksie: LOOK WHO THE FUCK SAYS OH BOY NOW HOECULES 

lyaf: omFG

cosplay.goddess: HOECULES OMGGG

Herc aderp: I AM TRIGGERED

ginger.ale[x]: I fucking canT

angelcake: I FUCKING CHOKED ON MY LEMONADE YOU BINCHES 

cosplay.goddess: AYO BURR YOU STILL HERE

a.burr: Very much so

cosplay.goddess: you fucking laughed didnt you

ginger.ale[x]: HE DID

Herc aderp: ALEXANDER YOUR STALKER LEVEL IS SHOWING

a.burr: Rounding back onto topic, was it a mistake adding me into the chat?

cosplay.goddess: No way hoe you bring the fucking whiplash

cosplay.goddess: SO WHAT DO YALL SAY PARTY AT MY PLACE I HAVE SUGARY DRINKS AND OUR PARENTS CANT TELL US NO

a.burr: Only going for the sugary drinks

Herc aderp: SAME TBH

a.burr: I already know Alexander's name, but just to be completely ready when I meet you, what're your names?

Herc aderp: HOECULES APPARENTLY

john.looksie: IM JOHN THATS HERCULES

lyaf: Gilbert but please call me Lafayette 

angelcake: I'm the owner of the recipe my traitor of a girlfriend sent you

a.burr: Angelica, nice to finally get some type of conversation with you

angelcake: Wait until we meet bro

angelcake: I am going to talk your goddamn ear off

a.burr: I look forward to it

ginger.ale[x]: He's a lair he's looking down

Herc aderp: ALEXANDER WHAT DID I SAY

a.burr: Hopefully, I'll get to see all of you at the party. Bye, Hamilton. 

a.burr has left the chat. 

john.looksie: OOOOAHH

ginger.ale[x]: HE'S SMIRKING

ginger.ale[x]: HE LOOKED TO ME AND I WINKED

ginger.ale[x]: THOMAS IS MAKING HIS WAY TOWARDS ME AND AARON IS BLUSHING I LOVE THIS

lyaf: uhoh

Herc aderp: WHAT

lyaf: I forgot to warn you

Herc aderp: LAF WHAT DID YOU DO

john.looksie: omFGG

cosplay.goddess: I'm still freaking out about Aaron's fucking Elsa exit 

angelcake: ALEXANDER WHAT HAPPEN

ginger.ale[x]: THE PIECE OF SHIT DUMPED HIS COFFEE ON ME 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ginger.ale[x] - Alex H.  
> john.looksie - John L.  
> lyaf - G. Lafayette  
> Herc aderp - Hercules M.  
> ManoftheTV - Thomas J.  
> J.MadIsOn - James M.  
> a.burr - Aaron Burr  
> angelcake - Angelica S.  
> cosplay.goddess - Maria R.  
> matty - Matthias O.  
> Jon.BallIsLife - Jonathan B.  
> Kingsley - King George III  
> Adams - John A.  
> R.Mont - R. Montgomery

_a.burr has started a chat with matty and Jon.BallIsLife._

Jon.BallIsLife: Hey, Aaron! What's up? You never pull up a chat. Usually it's facetime

matty: no kidding now i gotta use my stypid keybord 

matty: *stupid

matty: keyboard***

matty: god i harte this phone

matty: hate**

Jon.BallIsLife: My sympathies

a.burr: I sincerely hope you and your phone come together and form a mutual respect 

matty: you sarcastic beefjerky

a.burr: Taste the rainbow

Jon.BallIsLife: Wrong snack

a.burr: Shut up Jonathan

matty: Aaron's throwing out the long bamns oh no

matty: names**

matty: UGHHH

a.burr: Other then Matthias's obvious "oh no" moment with his phone, I need assistance

a.burr: I was invited to a party, but in hindsight, I don't think I should go. 

Jon.BallIsLife: Give us the full experience

matty: Yeah we're hwre for yiu

matty: I hate my life

a.burr: I went to go get my coffee at that new cafe down the street of my house and read that book you suggested to me, Jon, Flowers for Algernon.

Jon.BallIsLife: Dandy

a.burr: Right? It's a very good book by the way. Matthias, you should read it. Anyway, I was reading it and drinking my coffee (It isn't that good), then these guys come out of no where.

a.burr: I obviously didn't turn them away, thinking they they were clients looking for my help. They sat down with me after getting their coffee and striked up conversation. I'm sitting there, waiting for one of them to say something along the lines of, "Yeah I just killed my dad and I need help." But no. None of those two men were saying anything like that. Finally, they introduce themselves. 

a.burr: Thomas Jefferson and James Madison. 

matty: Matthias Ogden died 2016 RIP

Jon.BallIsLife: WOAH NO WAY

Jon.BallIsLife: EXCUSE MY CAPS BUT WHAT

a.burr: Don't get me started I about had a heart attack too.

matty: THE SECRETARY OF STATE

a.burr: I also met the Secretary of Treasury today. 

Jon.BallIsLife: Your life is so much better than mine

matty: This is Bull

a.burr: So anyway, they were just chatting me up. I figured they heard about me from someone, so I went along with it and then Maria added me to a group chat.

a.burr: Before you ask, yes me and Maria still talk occassionally. 

a.burr: So that's how I realized that I was sitting no farther than 8 feet from Alexander Hamilton.

a.burr: I forgot to add this, but Thomas had pointed Alexander out before I figured out it was him and I absently listed the flaws in his clothes. Honestly, the rumors are true, he is helpless. 

matty: Did you get Thomas's number?

matty: I want to prank call him so bad.

a.burr: Yes I did. No I'm not giving it to you.

Jon.BallIsLife: What does this have to do with the party?

a.burr: Maria invited me to this party, where Alexander will no doubt be at with a bunch of other splendid fellows. I accepted because at the moment I was feeling very pleased and content. But, I look back on it and realize that maybe I should have said no. 

Jon.BallIsLife: Are you kidding? No way, Aaron! Y'gotta go. 

a.burr: Did I mention Alexander Hamilton winked at me.

matty: DBSLASMPEOLWKDBWPWHDS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so easy to write and such a good stress reliever wow


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ginger.ale[x] - Alex H.  
> john.looksie - John L.  
> lyaf - G. Lafayette  
> Herc aderp - Hercules M.  
> ManoftheTV - Thomas J.  
> J.MadIsOn - James M.  
> a.burr - Aaron Burr  
> angelcake - Angelica S.  
> cosplay.goddess - Maria R.  
> matty - Matthias O.  
> Jon.BallIsLife - Jonathan B.  
> Kingsley - King George III  
> Adams - John A.  
> R.Mont - R. Montgomery

ginger.ale[x]: I'm so excited I want to cry

Herc aderp: SAME I WANNA MEET THIS BURR DUDE

john.looksie: I want to make him roast Laf

lyaf: fuck you 

lyaf: I am the closest thing to perfect

ginger.ale[x]: was that on a fortune cookie

lyaf: as a matter of fact it was

john.looksie: exposed 

Herc aderp: Alex you're not gonna do something crazy are you

Herc aderp: Because if you're jumping Burr so am i

ginger.ale[x]: omg lets get him to gangbang 

john.looksie: I'd let Burr sit on my face anyday

Herc aderp: Oh

Herc aderp: My

Herc aderp: Lord

ginger.ale[x]: SAME

lyaf: am I mad or am I excited who knows not me

ginger.ale[x]: you're excited

lyaf: i'm excited

Herc aderp: Fuck guys stop

ginger.ale[x]: He's getting a boner laf do your awesome fanfic skills

lyaf: fuck you those are for my washington fanfics and only my washington fanfics

ginger.ale[x]: OPPORTUNITY WASTED. 

john.looksie: LAFAYETTE JUST WRITE THE FANFIC CMON

lyaf: NO THOSE ARE ONLY FOR GWASH AND KING GEORGE

ginger.ale[x]: Those piss him off so much btw

lyaf: that's why i write them

ginger.ale[x]: "WHO EVER 66ROAD IS I WILL THROW MY DESK AT THEM"

Herc aderp: LMAOO

john.looksie: CAN YOU IMAGINE A GEORGE WASHINGTON RAISING A DESK OVER HIS HEAD 

ginger.ale[x]: OMG LAF

ginger.ale[x]: LAF PLEASE

lyaf: I wrote it down

Herc aderp: YAASSS ILL BE THE FIRST TO COMMENT

ginger.ale[x]: you guys are the best

john.looksie: I LOVE YOU ALEX

Herc aderp: I LOVE YOU ALEX

lyaf: LOVE YOU ALEX

lyaf: LOVE YOU HERC

Herc aderp: LOVE YOU LAF

Herc aderp: LOVE YOU JOHN

john.looksie: LOVE YOU HERC

lyaf: LOVE YOU JOHN

john.looksie: LOVE YOU LAF

ginger.ale[x]: I LOVE YOU ALL TOO

 

 

john.looksie: I'll be the first to say it

john.looksie: Aaron Burr is hot and i want to trot

ginger.ale[x]: Why the fuck is Jefferson and Madison here

ginger.ale[x]: they're taking away my valuable time

lyaf: Angelica accidentally told Madison, who in turn told Thomas

ginger.ale[x]: WHAT THE FUCK

ginger.ale[x] had added angelcake to the chat. 

ginger.ale[x]: WHY WOULD YOU DO WHAT YOU DID

angelcake: IM SORRY OKAY

angelcake: THIS ISNT MY FAULT

angelcake: Also does anybody actually know where Aaron is

lyaf: I thought you were with him

john.looksie: some asshole just bumped into me

ginger.ale[x]: fight him john

ginger.ale[x]: prance around like an angry goat

john.looksie: NEIGHHH

lyaf: THATS A DUCK YOU IDIOT

angelcake: a mighty duck

ginger.ale[x]: what the fuck does the fox say

Herc aderp: A DING DING DING DINGA DINGA DING

ginger.ale[x]: ah yes thank you

angelcake: CODE BLUE CODE BLUE

john.looksie: WHATS THE GOOD NEWS FAM

angelcake: BURR IS BY THE PUNCH BOWL FUCKING GO BEFORE THOMAS SEES HIM

ginger.ale[x]: ABSCOND

john.looksie: FUCK GOD DAMMIT ALEXANDER STOP

Herc aderp: Oh my God John just fucking  parkoured over Alex

lyaf: our little monkey baby

Herc aderp: Jesus fuck

angelcake: JEFFERSON HAS SPOTTED AARON

 

 

a.burr: I'm not going to lie, this is an interesting party. 

matty: Pictures Aaron

matty: I want my flippen pictures

Jon.BallIsLife: I'd like to see this fantastic party for myself

a.burr: Fuck

matty: What happened

matty: also WOAH AARON CURSED

Jon.BallIsLife: Repent

a.burr: I refuse to repent I have no sins

matty: Hitler once said that

a.burr: Did he really

a.burr: Did he

Jon.BallIsLife: What happen Aaron

a.burr: I have two-

a.burr: three people here glaring each other down and talking about something that's beyond me. I suspect these are code words. 

Jon.BallIsLife: I would like to hear these code words

matty: Who are the people

a.burr: Surprise, Surprise. Alexander Hamilton and Thomas Jefferson. I don't know who the other fellow is.

a.burr: They said the word twink.

a.burr: I'm 10/10 done. 

a.burr: Leaving this god-forsaken party. 

matty: WHO DID THEY CALL A TWINK

Jon.BallIsLife: My bets is that it's on Alexander

matty: No way

a.burr: I'm being persued someone send help

matty: WHAT CAN WE DO

Jon.BallIsLife: Do you have Maria's screen name?

matty: No why would I

a.burr added cosplay.goddess to the chat. 

Jon.BallIsLife: There we go

matty: Hi Maria, how are you?

cosplay.goddess: BITCHIN

matty: Same

cosplay.goddess: Oh god dammit


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ginger.ale[x] - Alex H.  
> john.looksie - John L.  
> lyaf - G. Lafayette  
> Herc aderp - Hercules M.  
> ManoftheTV - Thomas J.  
> J.MadIsOn - James M.  
> a.burr - Aaron Burr  
> angelcake - Angelica S.  
> cosplay.goddess - Maria R.  
> matty - Matthias O.  
> Jon.BallIsLife - Jonathan B.  
> Kingsley - King George III  
> Adams - John A.  
> R.Mont - R. Montgomery

_cosplay.goddess has started a chat with ManoftheTV, ginger.ale[x], lyaf, john.looksie, J.MadIsOn, Herc aderp, angelcake, matty, Jon.BallIsLife._

cosplay.goddess: OOPS DIDNT MEAN TO ADD MATTY AND JON INTO THIS SORRY PALS JUST IGNORE OKAY

matty: Dandy

cosplay.goddess: YALL ARE ANY OF YOU EVEN TRYING TO HIDE YOUR HORNY SELVES

matty: Not dandy

lyaf: what happened

J.MadIsOn: It's Thomas isn't it

angelcake: Thomas, Alex and John are scaring Burr away

matty: He heard the word twink and went to ditch

Jon.BallIsLife: Matthias. 

Jon.BallIsLife: Shut up.

Herc aderp: Who are these guys

Herc aderp: MATTHIAS DONT SHUT UP I WANT TO HEAR THIS

Herc aderp: also WHO THE FUCK SAID THE WORD TWINK OMG

matty: Aaron didn't say

Jon.BallIsLife: why do I attempt

john.looksie: Yo guys better come here quick Alexander and Thomas are hardcore flirting

john.looksie: Aaron is glancing between them in horror

john.looksie: oh who are these guys hello

john.looksie: IM JOHN WHO ARE YOU A CLONE

Jon.BallIsLife: Jonathan Bellamy. 

john.looksie: John Laurens

Jon.BallIsLife: And now that I have been properly addressed,

matty: oh shit yall better leave the chat now

Herc aderp: what is he going to do meme us to death

matty: isn't that the frog thing

Jon.BallIsLife: A meme is a group of things. Matthis. 

Jon.BallIsLife: Why is there flirting going on and why is it making Aaron uncomfortable?

john.looksie: Oh shit lemme tell u my clone brother

john.looksie: OMG JEFFERSON JUST

john.looksie: THAT HOE

J.MadIsOn: 20% offended 

john.looksie: HE TOTALLY SHOVED ALEXANDER OUT OF THE WAY AND USHERED AARON LIKE HE'S A CELEBRITY

matty: Why can't my life be this productive

Jon.BallIsLife: Where is he taking Aaron?

J.MadIsOn: Probably to me, I'll find them.

ginger.ale[x]: SO LET ME TELL YOU WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED IGHT

ginger.ale[x]: I BECOME THE SMOOTH FUCKER I AM AND MAKE AARON SMILE N SHIT 

ginger.ale[x]: THOMAS HERE TRIES TO TAKE MY THUNDER BUT IM ALL LIKE

ginger.ale[x]: NAH BRO I GOT THIS AND LIKE THE GENTLEMEN I AM PUT MY ARM AROUND AARON'S WAIST

ginger.ale[x]: THOMAS HERE SHOVES ME OUT OF THE WAY BEFORE I CAN EVEN SLIP MY ARM AROUND AARONS BACK TO TRY AND GET HIM AWAY FROM THOMAS'S COLOGNE DRENCHED SCENT

ginger.ale[x]: AND GOD DAMN STEALS MY WOMAN 

matty: My god

Jon.BallIsLife: .

ginger.ale[x]: oh hello

ginger.ale[x]: ,,, somebody help

lyaf: I'm on the edge of my seat

matty: Jonathan is typing give him a second

Herc aderp: It's been a minute

J.MadIsOn: Thomas, Aaron and I are speaking calmly. He's relaxed now, if that's any consolation.

Jon.BallIsLife: I'm genuinly lost for words

Jon.BallIsLife: First off, you corner him

Jon.BallIsLife: Second off, you talk about some random topic and cause Aaron to get distressed enough to want to exit the party

Jon.BallIsLife: Which he was only there because our wonderful acquaintance Maria invited him.

Jon.BallIsLife: and now your explaining how your "smooth moves" of the "gentlemen" ways didn't work to keep him with you

Jon.BallIsLife: As the Secretary of Treasury, I would have suspected you to be good with numbers. Your "smooth moves" added with the slyness of a fox don't seem to sum up.

cosplay.goddess: DAMNNN

angelcake: WOAH WOAH NONO JON ITS NOT LIKE THAT WE SWEAR 

ginger.ale[x]: It isnt?

cosplay.goddess: FUUCCKK NOW I KNOW WHY AARONS SO GOD DAMN EVIL DAMN JONNY

angelcake: Alexander shut the fuck uP

lyaf: YEAH NO ANGELICA'S RIGHT

john.looksie: Damn clone me is a mama pigeon

john.looksie: He sent that in the same second too how the fuck

matty: Honestly we dont even know

ginger.ale[x]: OKAY MOMMA PIGEON THAT STRUCK MY HEART NOT GONNA LIE

ginger.ale[x]: GOT ME GOOD 

ginger.ale[x]: But I'm not trying to distress Burr I swear

lyaf: He's just tryna

lyaf: how you say...

lyaf: get cozy with him

Herc aderp: He's trying to get on mutual grounds with Aaron is what Laf is trying to explain

john.looksie: Momma Pigeon do you accept our greatest apology

matty: They called you Momma Pigeon

Jon.BallIsLife: Yes, I accept it. But if something slips up,

ginger.ale[x]: OH SHIT BALLS ALSO

lyaf: GOD DAMMIT HAMILTON

ginger.ale[x]: JEFFERSON YOU PIECE OF SHIT COME FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN

ManoftheTV: Too busy with Burr

ManoftheTV: \ (•◡•) /

ginger.ale[x]: LISTEN TO ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT ILL KICK YOUR ASS 

matty: Jesus

Jon.BallIsLife: Repent

ManoftheTV: WITH WHAT STOOL?

Herc aderp: SCREENSHOTTING 

john.looksie: SHUT THE FUCK UP JEFFERSON

cosplay.goddess: IM PHYSICALLY INCAPABLE RN WITH THAT FUCKING DISS

ginger.ale[x]: ILL CLIMB YOUR IQ LEVEL TO YOUR EGO YOU CLOUD HEAD FUCKER

matty: OH

cosplay.goddess: OH MY GOOOOOODDDDD

lyaf: LETS NOT FIGHT INFRONT OF OUR GUESTS PLEASE

angelcake: IM NEVER READING YOUR CHATS AND DRINKING LIQUIDS EVER AGAIN THIS IS RIDICULOUS 

ManoftheTV: ( ﾟヮﾟ)

ginger.ale[x]: I HATE YOUR STUPID FACES

Herc aderp: IM GOING TO DIE IF I CONTINUE READING THIS FUCKING CHAT

matty: THIS IS GREAT TO BE TRUTHFUL

john.looksie: TO BE TR U TH FU L

john.looksie: WHY TRUTHFUL WHY NOT HONEST

matty: They're synonyms

john.looksie: Oh we got a college boi right here

matty: Diddly darn straight

Jon.BallIsLife: Is this a normal thing between those two

ginger.ale[x]: I would rather fuck a blender then share a job with Jefferson but here I am blenderless

cosplay.goddess: i have a blender

lyaf: dont fuck the blender

Herc aderp: Fuck the blender

john.looksie: Fuck the blender

ginger.ale[x]: I'm going to fuck the blender

lyaf: ALEXANDER NO

ginger.ale[x]: ALEXANDER YES

matty: Jesus


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ginger.ale[x] - Alex H.  
> john.looksie - John L.  
> lyaf - G. Lafayette  
> Herc aderp - Hercules M.  
> ManoftheTV - Thomas J.  
> J.MadIsOn - James M.  
> a.burr - Aaron Burr  
> angelcake - Angelica S.  
> cosplay.goddess - Maria R.  
> matty - Matthias O.  
> Jon.BallIsLife - Jonathan B.  
> Kingsley - King George III  
> Adams - John A.  
> R.Mont - R. Montgomery

a.burr: Where to start.

Jon.BallIsLife: It's 12:36 AM where you are.

matty: That was just a huge trainwreck

a.burr: Do you want a summary or a novelty

Jon.BallIsLife: Give me a Draw My Life

a.burr: I politely decline on account of you're an illiterate

matty: OH

Jon.BallIsLife: How dare you, I read 3 books a year

a.burr: Comic books

Jon.BallIsLife: I didn't come here to be sassed, Aaron 

Jon.BallIsLife: I came here for the brunch

a.burr: Alright, so where did I leave you two off?

matty: You were being persued by Jefferson and Hamilton.

a.burr: Okay.

a.burr: I was about to leave the party after saying a quick hello and goodbye to Maria, but I didn't even get to find her before Alexander is to the left of me and Thomas is to the right.

a.burr: Alexander was saying these dumb jokes that were surprisingly enough to make me laugh. Thomas was making general conversation, getting to know me through ice-breaker questions and all. Thomas was interestingly an intelligent guy, it was a little surprising.

matty: Aaron Burr admitted to thinking Thomas was trash.

Jon.BallIsLife: Who hasn't

a.burr: What happens next startled me to an extent, but Alexander had brushed his hand over my side. I think he was trying to hug me, maybe, I'm unsure. But, Thomas actually shoved the guy to the ground (mind you, very rudely and hard) then decided that this was a perfect moment to grab my hand and place his arm around my back and brought me away from Alexander. 

a.burr: I didn't think it was possible for someone to play so dirty but be so gentlemenly.

matty: He actually pushed Hamilton into the ground? Wow I thought he was exaggerating

a.burr: Hm?

Jon.BallIsLife: Maria added us to a group chat by accident, the rest of the friends I presume you were talking about were there.

matty: They called Jonathan a momma pigeon

a.burr: Interesting.

a.burr: I would have picked a Peacock.

Jon.BallIsLife: I will drive all the way over to your home just to kick your behind

a.burr: I've been threatened

matty: Speaking of, how're you settling in?

a.burr: I'm settling in fine, a little overwhelmed with everything that's going on. It's been a week so I presume the homesickness has worn off mostly.

matty: We should visit, I want to meet Alexander. He's crazy

a.burr: I can confirm that Alexander is not sane.

Jon.BallIsLife: How's the job coming along?

a.burr: See, that was problem two. 

a.burr: I finally got a job, yippy, but it's

matty: Aaron

matty: Aaron it's been two minutes

Jon.BallIsLife: Aaron?

a.burr: I'm working as a personal secretary.

matty: That doesn't sound so bad, Gosh, you made it sound like you were going to be an entertainer

a.burr: I'm George Washington's personal secretary.

matty: I'm sorry come again

Jon.BallIsLife: Fuck

 

 

_ginger.ale[x] has started a chat with lyaf, john.looksie, Herc aderp._

ginger.ale[x]: Because our old chat has been tainted by shit

ginger.ale[x]: I have made a new one

lyaf: Dandy

john.looksie: I stg Laf

Herc aderp: LAF YOUVE BEEN SAYING THAT ALL DAY JUST BECAUSE MATTY B SAID IT

lyaf: repent

ginger.ale[x]: it's learning

john.looksie: Teach it to sing

Herc aderp: Are we human

lyaf: Or are we dancers

ginger.ale[x]: I AM DONE

john.looksie: I'm so upset I wanted to talk to Aaron

lyaf: Do you want a hug

Herc aderp: I gotta talk to him

ginger.ale[x]: WHAT

john.looksie: EXCUSE ME HERC

Herc aderp: YALL ARE SO MELODRAMATIC

Herc aderp: WALKED STRAIGHT UP TO MADISON JEFFERSON AND BURR AND SAID WHAT UP

Herc aderp: He's a little shy

Herc aderp: It took me to call Madison a banana bandit to actually get him to relax

john.looksie: That's cute

lyaf: Banana bandit or being shy

john.looksie: In no way possible is a bandit who steals the god given gift of bananas cute

john.looksie: and because literally NONE OF YOU are shy

john.looksie: ITS A NICE CHANGE. 

Herc aderp: I can pretend

lyaf: Oh no im suddenly shy

ginger.ale[x]: Finally

ginger.ale[x]: My time to top

lyaf: Look at that I'm not shy anymore

ginger.ale[x]: FUCK YOU LYAF

lyaf: THATS WHAT IM AVOIDING 

Herc aderp: lyaf you let me fuck you

john.looksie: omg

john.looksie: he's scared of your dick

ginger.ale[x]: why it survived a blender

lyaf: that's what I'm scared about

Herc aderp: The Blender Stick

john.looksie: The Blade Martyr

Herc aderp: The Whirl Poon

john.looksie: The Bonercane

ginger.ale[x]: THIS IS WHY WE CANT HAVE NICE THINGS.

lyaf: Bonercane VS Whirl poon

Herc aderp: I'd watch that

john.looksie: Same

ginger.ale[x]: Alexander Hamilton found dead at work this afternoon 

john.looksie: WERE F R E E

ginger.ale[x]: SKELETON WAR BITCH

Herc aderp: SPOOKY SCARY SKELETONS

lyaf: SEND SHIVERS DOWN YOUR SPINE

john.looksie: NO GOD DAMMIT

ginger.ale[x]: PUT UP THE DECORATIONS ITS TIME

Herc aderp: YASSSS

john.looksie: HELLO 911

lyaf: NO ONE LIKES A SNITCH JOHN

Herc aderp: Yes this is 911 how may I help you

john.looksie: omg is this sharron

Herc aderp: Betty is that you

john.looksie: SAMANTHA IS SHARRON

ginger.ale[x]: SHARRON? SHARRON SHARRON?

Herc aderp: SAMANTHA IS WITH YOU

Herc aderp: HOME GIRL LET ME GET LORETTA

Herc aderp: LORETTA 

lyaf: WHAT YOU WANT

Herc aderp: GUESS WHO THE FUCK CALLED ME

lyaf: IS IT ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE CALLS ABOUT GETTING SHOT

Herc aderp: NAH I HUNG UP ON EM

lyaf: WHO IS IT

Herc aderp: SAMANTHA AND BETTY

lyaf: WHICH SAMANTHA

lyaf: SAMANTHA J OR SAMANTHA L

Herc aderp: WHICH SAMANTHA THIS IS HOE

john.looksie: SAMANTHA L

Herc aderp: SAMANTHA L

lyaf: WELL BOY HOWDY GIMME THAT PHONE

ginger.ale[x]: BETTY WHAT THEY SAYING

john.looksie: THEYRE SCREAMING

ginger.ale[x]: THEY SHOULD CALL 911

 

 

a.burr: I'm not one to be open about my anxiety, but I'm anxious.

matty: Move back home

Jon.BallIsLife: You just need to walk in there with your head high and ask where George Washington's office is. You can do it. 

a.burr: I'm anxious about seeing Alexander or Thomas here.

Jon.BallIsLife: You'll be fine, they're probably always at each other's throats so it won't matter. 

matty: True.

a.burr: I sure hope so

a.burr: I take that back, no I don't

a.burr: I don't want to witness the war

matty: You gettin' those prison flashbacks, capt'n

a.burr: So much soap dropping

Jon.BallIsLife: REPENT.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ginger.ale[x] - Alex H.  
> john.looksie - John L.  
> lyaf - G. Lafayette  
> Herc aderp - Hercules M.  
> ManoftheTV - Thomas J.  
> J.MadIsOn - James M.  
> a.burr - Aaron Burr  
> angelcake - Angelica S.  
> cosplay.goddess - Maria R.  
> matty - Matthias O.  
> Jon.BallIsLife - Jonathan B.  
> Kingsley - King George III  
> Adams - John A.  
> R.Mont - R. Montgomery

ginger.ale[x]: Guys

john.looksie: Alexander you're suppose to be working

ginger.ale[x]: guys

Herc aderp: what's going up

lyaf: on this tuesday

john.looksie: LAF I STG

ginger.ale[x]: iseeaaronburr

Herc aderp: WHAT

lyaf: mon ami, you're sleep texting us again

ginger.ale[x]: NO IM SERIOUS

ginger.ale[x] sent a photo with the caption: LOOK

john.looksie: WHY IS HE AT YOUR JOB AND TALKING TO GEORGE

john.looksie: INVITE GEORGE TO THE CHAT I DEMAND 

ginger.ale[x]: WHEN AARON LEAVES

Herc aderp: WHY IS AARON THERE

Herc aderp: I WANNA KNOW SO BAD

lyaf: Maybe he works there now

ginger.ale[x]: maybe he's trying to get my address

john.looksie: maybe it's maybelline

ginger.ale[x]: AARON LEFT WITH SOME FILES

ginger.ale[x] has added George W. to the chat.

George W.: Alexander? I'm a few feet from you?

john.looksie: HI

George W.: Hello, John

ginger.ale[x]: What're you doing with Aaron Burr, sir

George W.: You know him?

lyaf: We'd like to B)

Herc aderp: LAF SHUT UP

George W.: He's my new secretary. Pete had to quit because he was needed elsewhere.

ginger.ale[x]: A DOT BURR IS YOUR SECRETARY

George W.: Yes, son

ginger.ale[x]: MEANING ILL PROBABLY RUN INTO HIM EVERYDAY

George W.: I feel like I'm missing something

ginger.ale[x]: BYE DAD IM ON MY WAY TO SAY HELLO

john.looksie: HE JUST JDKbsLWIW

Herc aderp: D A D

ginger.ale[x]: NO IT WAS AUTOCORRECT I MEANT

lyaf: Alexander Hamilton found dead

ginger.ale[x]: HATE YOU ALL

George W.: Bye, son. :)

ginger.ale[x]: DONT CALL ME SON


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ginger.ale[x] - Alex H.  
> john.looksie - John L.  
> lyaf - G. Lafayette  
> Herc aderp - Hercules M.  
> ManoftheTV - Thomas J.  
> J.MadIsOn - James M.  
> a.burr - Aaron Burr  
> angelcake - Angelica S.  
> cosplay.goddess - Maria R.  
> matty - Matthias O.  
> Jon.BallIsLife - Jonathan B.  
> Kingsley - King George III  
> Adams - John A.  
> R.Mont - R. Montgomery

_ManoftheTV has started a chat with J.MadIsOn, lyaf, Herc aderp, john.looksie._

ManoftheTV: HANDLE YOUR FUCKING BOYFRIEND.

lyaf: What happened

john.looksie: NO I REFUSE

john.looksie: SLAMS STAFF INTO FLOOR

Herc aderp: What'd Alexander do

Herc aderp: GANDALF LEAVE

Herc aderp: I WANTED DUMBLEDORE

john.looksie: WELL YOU GOT ME

J.MadIsOn: He's causing havoc at our side of the office and Burr is trying to set out files for people. 

ManoftheTV: Hamilton is calling everybody by the wrong fucking title and Burr is clearly displeased by it 

J.MadIsOn: 100% Lair

Herc aderp: GOOD

Herc aderp: also #TeamHamilton

john.looksie has added ginger.ale[x] to the chat. 

ginger.ale[x]: WHAT

john.looksie: HE'S TALKIN SHIT

Herc aderp: john you snitch LMAO

lyaf: .

ginger.ale[x]: Oh

ginger.ale[x]: JEFFERSON YOU LAIR

ManoftheTV: IVE TOLD NO LIE

ginger.ale[x]: IGHT LET ME TELL YOU THE DEETS BEFORE LAF YELLS AT ME

lyaf: true

ginger.ale[x]: IM JOKING AROUND WITH BURR AND HES TRYING SO HARD TO NOT LAUGH

john.looksie: aaaaaww

ginger.ale[x]: I WAS ALSO KICKED OUT

john.looksie: awww

ManoftheTV: YOU SHOULD HAVE NEVER CAME.

ginger.ale[x]: WHATRE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT

Herc aderp: DODGEBALL

john.looksie: DODGEBALL OMGGG

lyaf: ALRIGHT.

lyaf: This will be settled here and now

lyaf: Nobody starts gay wars over Aaron at work

lyaf: It's becoming an issue.

ManoftheTV: Thank you

ginger.ale[x]: BUT LYAF I WAS WINNING

Herc aderp: YEAH HE WAS WINNING

J.MadIsOn: Thomas, Aaron agreed to going out for coffee with us at 7. Finish your work soon.

Herc aderp: ,,,

Herc aderp: Now I gotta ask forgiveness from the big guy because i lied

Herc aderp: THANKS HAMILTON

ginger.ale[x]: JAMES YOU FUCKING TRAITOR

J.MadIsOn: I'm on the opposite team

ManoftheTV: See ya losers

ManoftheTV: ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ

ManoftheTV had left the chat.

J.MadIsOn: Excuse him.

J.MadIsOn has left the chat. 

ginger.ale[x]: Oh this is fucking war I hope you know

lyaf: why do I even try

Herc aderp: WAR WAR WAR

john.looksie: I still want dodgeball

 

 

_a.burr has started a chat with cosplay.goddess._

a.burr: Hello Maria, I apologize if I'm interrupting. Just ignore and text at the earliest convenience, but I was curious as to if you could answer a few questions for me. 

cosplay.goddess: OH BOY

cosplay.goddess: FUCK YEAH I CAN STEWART WHAT YOU WANNA ASK MOMMA

a.burr: Stewart wants to know why he's being followed by bad men.

a.burr: Specifically the flamboyant policemen and the comedian judge

cosplay.goddess: COMEDIAN JUDGE OMG IS THAT HAMILTON

a.burr: Yes.

cosplay.goddess: Angelica told me that Hamilton is asking for help because Thomas and Madison asked you out on a date is that true

a.burr: That was a date?

cosplay.goddess: IT IS TRUE

a.burr: I'm not dating anybody. James asked me out for coffee, I agreed. Regrettably. I was just trying to stay in my lane, and working with somebody who's of higher authority to me, I must oblige. 

cosplay.goddess: I want to pinch your cheeks and baby talk you so pretend im doing that

a.burr: My cheeks are already aching

cosplay.goddess: Baby you dont need to agree to coffee just because they're on a higher stone than you

a.burr: Well, this means I just accidentally accepted a coffee date.

cosplay.goddess: BURR GETTIN THE HOES OH YEAH

cosplay.goddess: TBH BURR IF YOU GET LAID YOU GOTTA TELL ME

a.burr: Unlikely

cosplay.goddess: WELL WITH THAT ATTITUDE

cosplay.goddess: CAN I DO YOUR MAKEUP

cosplay.goddess: omg i got this sweet tank top you can borrow

a.burr: It's at seven, I don't believe I'll be able to stop by your place. But thank you for the offer, I would have accepted it if it was on any other occasion

cosplay.goddess: expect me at 6:30

a.burr: I'm sorry, hm?

cosplay.goddess: I'm visiting you 

cosplay.goddess: I'm gonna fucking hook

cosplay.goddess: You

cosplay.goddess: up

a.burr: This is really unnecessary, I don't want to be a bother

cosplay.goddess: IM GONNA BE THERE AT 6:30 BYEE

cosplay.goddess has left the chat. 

a.burr: Maria,

a.burr: Fuck


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ginger.ale[x] - Alex H.  
> john.looksie - John L.  
> lyaf - G. Lafayette  
> Herc aderp - Hercules M.  
> ManoftheTV - Thomas J.  
> J.MadIsOn - James M.  
> a.burr - Aaron Burr  
> angelcake - Angelica S.  
> cosplay.goddess - Maria R.  
> matty - Matthias O.  
> Jon.BallIsLife - Jonathan B.  
> Kingsley - King George III  
> Adams - John A.  
> R.Mont - R. Montgomery

a.burr: 1) You're not allowed to yell at me.

a.burr: 2) I need help.

a.burr: 3) You can bring up the unspeakable

matty: Well, now we gotta yell at you

Jon.BallIsLife: What happened? Did Alexander do something?

a.burr: No, he's fine, if anything I wish I did this with him because his jokes are stupid and I want to share them with you. 

a.burr: That's besides the point, I agreed to getting coffee with a colleague.

matty: I'm listening

Jon.BallIsLife: What's the problem?

a.burr: I agreed to it with Thomas Jefferson and James Madison.

matty: WHY

a.burr: I recall saying you cant yell at me

Jon.BallIsLife: I know what you're worried about, no, you don't need to be worried. You're probably over thinking, it's just getting coffee and hanging out. 

a.burr: Alright, that helps

a.burr: But I made the mistake to ask Maria for help because I still felt as though there was something off with those three. Long story short, she's coming by in fifteen minutes. 

Jon.BallIsLife: Why?

a.burr: To do my makeup and "doll me up."

matty: Oh

Jon.BallIsLife: Oh

a.burr: Exactly, you can see why I'm distressed about that.

Jon.BallIsLife: Aaron, you don't need to shell yourself. 

matty: Yeah! Nobody knows your trans, Aaron, you'll be fine. Does Maria know?

a.burr: No...

matty: There you go. Just tell her you're not comfortable. 

a.burr: I'm a man of logic, she'll probably expect me to have some form of reason

Jon.BallIsLife: Simply tell the truth. You're not comfortable with explaining why, but you just can't do it.

matty: Hey and even if you end up doing it, she doesn't know! She'll probably make you look like a super hot dude

a.burr: Are you insinuating I am not already a super hot dude

matty: yes

Jon.BallIsLife: Nothing to worry about, right Aaron? You feel better?

a.burr: Yes and no, but that's only anxiety for seeing Maria. I'll facetime you guys after work, okay?

Jon.BallIsLife: Of course!

matty: Totally! See ya,

 

 

ginger.ale[x]: In the end we should shoot Jefferson and blame Madison because that makes the most sense

john.looksie: wow

angelcake: okay for 1 no

angelcake: why was that so specific and detailed??

ginger.ale[x]: I watch a lotta breaking bad

lyaf: he watches a lot of breaking bad

Herc aderp: Breaking bad

john.looksie: Bb

angelcake: Well

angelcake: Maria says you're over reacting she's in the building visiting Aaron and

ginger.ale[x]: ... Angelica?

ginger.ale[x]: ANGELICA

angelcake: IM FUCKING S. ORR Y

angelcake: AAWW BURR LOOKS SO HANDSOME

ginger.ale[x]: EXCUSE ME YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND

angelcake: NO YOU IDIOT

angelcake: SHE WENT OVER THERE TO MAKE BURR CUTE FOR HIS DATE AND OMGGGG

lyaf: I'm sorry 

lyaf: COME AGAIN

john.looksie: YOU SAID IT WASNT A DATE

angelcake: BURR SAID IT WASNT A DATE

Herc aderp: So alexander about that plan

ginger.ale[x]: The gun is in George's bottom drawer I can get it from there

angelcake: DONT SHOOT ANYONE JESUS CHRIST


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ginger.ale[x] - Alex H.  
> john.looksie - John L.  
> lyaf - G. Lafayette  
> Herc aderp - Hercules M.  
> ManoftheTV - Thomas J.  
> J.MadIsOn - James M.  
> a.burr - Aaron Burr  
> angelcake - Angelica S.  
> cosplay.goddess - Maria R.  
> matty - Matthias O.  
> Jon.BallIsLife - Jonathan B.  
> Kingsley - King George III  
> Adams - John A.  
> R.Mont - R. Montgomery

_cosplay.goddess has started a chat with angelcake, ginger.ale[x], lyaf, john.looksie, Herc aderp._

cosplay.goddess has sent a picture!

cosplay.goddess has sent a picture!

cosplay.goddess has sent a picture!

lyaf: Oh boy

john.looksie: THATS BURR OMGGG

Herc aderp: HE LOOK SO CUTE

ginger.ale[x]: ANGRILY SHAKING PHONE OMG

angelcake: I KNOWWWWWWW I WASNT LYING HOE

cosplay.goddess: Aaron says thanks!! He doesnt sound so positive tho

cosplay.goddess: I think he's shy to compliments

angelcake: TELL HIM TO WEAR WHITE AND BLUE MORE OFTEN

cosplay.goddess: BURR SAYS HE'LL TRY

ginger.ale[x]: tbh fuck me up man he looks good in white

john.looksie: HE LOOKS SO THIN

lyaf: I WAS THINKING THE S A M E THING

Herc aderp: THIS IS SO CRAZY LIKE

Herc aderp: I WASNT EXPECTING THIS

john.looksie: I can see you doing that pageant wave stop trying to be Miss America

Herc aderp: One fucking day, Laurens

Herc aderp: One god damn day

ginger.ale[x]: A single tear drops from Herc's face

lyaf: "why" he whispers so gently

john.looksie: "because" god said back

ginger.ale[x]: "you lied to me"

Herc aderp: THAT WAS YOUR FAULT I LIED ALEXANDER

ginger.ale[x]: LOVE THY NEIGHBOR AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF

Herc aderp: WELP LOOK AT THAT I DONT LOVE MYSELF

lyaf: someone go on ebay and buy a hug

lyaf: Herc needs it 

cosplay.goddess: Burr is whining about himself looking too laid back

angelcake: add him to the chat i'll talk some sense into him

ginger.ale[x]: NO DONT DO THAT

cosplay.goddess has invited a.burr into the chat!

ginger.ale[x]: Hi Burr

a.burr: Hello, Alexander

lyaf: first name basis

john.looksie: ,,,dandy

Herc aderp: FUCK YOU GUYS WITH YOUR AWKWARDNESS

Herc aderp: HI AARON

a.burr: HELLO

cosplay.goddess: HE'S GRINNING

cosplay.goddess has sent a photo!

 

 

ginger.ale[x]: Fuckfuckfuck he's cute smiling i love it so much

john.looksie: HE ISSSS

lyaf: Why are we whispering on another chat

Herc aderp: SO HE DOESNT SEE OUR GAY

 

 

a.burr: Why would you betray me so

cosplay.goddess: I did what any good yound lad would have

angelcake: BURR I HEAR YOURE BEING NERVOUS ABOUT THAT NEW LOOK YGOT

a.burr: It's not what I'm used too, I admit.

angelcake: You look hot tho

angelcake: tbh the white tank top with the blue and black striped jacket was a really good touCH

cosplay.goddess: HE CAN FIT MY SKINNY JEANS

a.burr: So how about you tell them my first kiss

cosplay.goddess: Don't u sass me young m a n

angelcake: YO WHERED THE HOE MEN GO

ginger.ale[x]: WERE LURKING

a.burr: .

john.looksie: Sneaky sneak

a.burr: Very

Herc aderp: What're you doin Burr

Herc aderp: goin' on a date

lyaf: Smooth, Herc

Herc aderp: SHUT UP LAF

a.burr: Gosh Darn it, no, I'm not. 

ginger.ale[x]: You avoided cursing again

a.burr: Maria stop lying to the Jury

cosplay.goddess: OML.

angelcake: Jury?

cosplay.goddess: HE HAS ALL THESE NICKNAMES FOR YALL

ginger.ale[x]: WHATS MINE

a.burr: I politely decline answering that question.

ginger.ale[x]: MARIA

cosplay.goddess: COMEDIAN JUDGE

lyaf: Hue

cosplay.goddess: JEFFERSON AND MADISON ARE FLAMBOYANT POLICE 

Herc aderp: OMG

john.looksie: Bad Boys: The final chapter

ginger.ale[x]: Cops: Who tops?

Herc aderp: Seriously tho who fucking tops

lyaf: Jefferson obviously

john.looksie: BUT THAT DOESNT MAKE SENSE 

Herc aderp: IT HAS TO BE MADISON

ginger.ale[x]: I REFUSE TO THINK ABOUT THIS

a.burr: You brought it up

ginger.ale[x]: DONT DRAG ME, BURR

ginger.ale[x]: Burr, you should wear more white clothes

a.burr: Am I allowed to ask why?

ginger.ale[x]: Already Obedient B)

lyaf: al e x and e r

ginger.ale[x]: It's because you'd look like a polar bear!

a.burr: Is this significant?

ginger.ale[x]: You'd look like a polar burr

a.burr: ,

john.looksie: .

lyaf: .

Herc aderp: ,,,

angelcake: ...

ginger.ale[x]: Get it

ginger.ale[x]: Polar Burr

a.burr: Well by that logic, HAMilton, you'd be a pig. 

Herc aderp: FUCKING DONE 

ginger.ale[x]: ಥ_ಥ

cosplay.goddess: TAKES WHEEZES OF AIR

angelcake: WHY IS IT ALWAYS LEMONADE FUCK YOU GUYS

a.burr: Ah, I've got to go. Madison found me. 

cosplay.goddess: BURR DO ME A FAVOUR KEEP ME ON TABS ON THIS CHAT 

cosplay.goddess: EVERYTHING

a.burr: Nothing curious will happen, it's just getting coffee

angelcake: I mean yk

angelcake: For us

a.burr: .

angelcake: OKAY FINE I WANT GOSSIP OKAY

cosplay.goddess: PLEASE BURR

a.burr: OKAY

a.burr: Okay.

a.burr: I'll write lengthy paragraphs with everything, alright?

cosplay.goddess: Where ya going?

a.burr: Cosmotic Dose, Thomas says it's a good coffee place. 

ginger.ale[x]: That's one damn place I can never go back too

lyaf: Melodramatic

a.burr: I'll talk later.

 

 

_ginger.ale[x] started a chat with angelcake and cosplay.goddess._

ginger.ale[x]: That was to help us wasn't it

angelcake: Fuck yeah it was

cosplay.goddess: TBH i cant stand Thomas so if Burr starts dating him I dunno what I'll do

angelcake: TAKE YOUR OPENING OR SO HELP ME ILL DRIVE OVER THERE N HIT YOU

 

 

ginger.ale[x]: Okay guys

john.looksie: Hm?

lyaf: Yeah

Herc aderp: Wattup

ginger.ale[x]: Here's the plan;


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ginger.ale[x] - Alex H.  
> john.looksie - John L.  
> lyaf - G. Lafayette  
> Herc aderp - Hercules M.  
> ManoftheTV - Thomas J.  
> J.MadIsOn - James M.  
> a.burr - Aaron Burr  
> angelcake - Angelica S.  
> cosplay.goddess - Maria R.  
> matty - Matthias O.  
> Jon.BallIsLife - Jonathan B.  
> Kingsley - King George III  
> Adams - John A.  
> R.Mont - R. Montgomery

ginger.ale[x]: 'Ight I followed them

lyaf: Alexander don't you dare do anything until I get there

ginger.ale[x]: THEN HURRY UP IM ALREADY GOING

john.looksie: Guys, my new phone's acting up.

john.looksie: Wow, look at that, it apostrophe'd my sentence.

john.looksie: WoAH, IT CAPITALIZES TOO.

Herc aderp: DANDY

john.looksie: Guys, there's an option to change your screen name.

john.looksie: What should it be?

Herc aderp: John Laurens

john.looksie: Too original.

lyaf: Smol Bean

john.looksie: Too Tumblr.

Herc aderp: Los Angle-ess

lyaf: DaddyKink.2

Herc aderp: CallmeSon

lyaf: OmG

Herc aderp: Johnny.Ur.Bby.Boy

lyaf: PickleTurtle

Herc aderp: TurtlePickle

lyaf: Duck-Dick

Herc aderp: DONT BRING UP THE DUCK PENIS THAT IS THE MOST TERRIFYING THING EVER

ginger.ale[x]: SPICEY COFFEE

john.looksie: ,,

lyaf: I mean sure I guess that's a good screen name

lyaf: Duck-Dick is better but whatever

Herc aderp: Spicy.Coff33?

john.looksie: I'm not naming myself Spicy.Coff33.

Herc aderp: Sp!cy.C0ffee?

ginger.ale[x]: NO YOU IDIOTS

ginger.ale[x]: I STG NOBODY BRING UP THE DUCK PENIS THAT WAS

ginger.ale[x]: H O R R I BLe

Herc aderp: THANK YOU

john.looksie: AlEX, WHAT DID YOU DO?

ginger.ale[x]: I tipped the guy to- here

ginger.ale[x] has sent a video with the caption: BEHOLD

john.looksie: AwW MAN.

john.looksie: I CANT WATCH IT.

john.looksie: ThIS IS SO UNFAIR, WHATS HAPPENING?

john.looksie: SoMEBODY DO THOSE TUMBLR CAPTION THINGS THEY DO FOR VINES.

Herc aderp: ON IT

Herc aderp:

Alexander: "Hey"

Worker: "Hello, welcome to- Woah, hey Alex,"

Alexander: "Hi, Charles. I need you to do something for me." *zooms camera in and out to cause drama but really is unnecessary*

Worker: "Oh sure dude, anything, what's up?" *leans against counter*

ginger.ale[x]: I will fight you Herc

Herc aderp: 

Mr.SassyPants: "I need you to pour this" *holds up a small bottle with no label* "into those two's coffee" *Points camera to Thomas and James and Aaron*

Worker: "I... don't think I can do that bro" *the most purest representation of apprehension on his face oh my godddd*

john.looksie: WhAT'S THE BOTTLE?

ginger.ale[x]: NEED I CLARIFY THAT THOMAS AND JAMES ARE LAUGHING AND BEING WEIRD WHILE AARON IS DISPLEASED.

lyaf: Aaron is smiling and nodding along

john.looksie: Is he, like, not talking?

john.looksie: I hate this new phone.

john.looksie: StOP MAKING ME SOUND SOPHISTICATED, I'M NOT.

lyaf: he doesn't seem to like contributing no

lyaf: he looks like he's just listening to the conversation and enjoying their talking

Herc aderp:

Alexander-Jelly-Pants: "Okay yeah it's against the rules but you and me go back!"

Worker: "I've given you coffee three times and met you on the street twice" *Eyebrow lift*

Alexander "I was a lawyer I know what I'm doing": "I was a lawyer I know what I'm doing" 

Worker: "I dunno-"

Alexander: "I got 50"

Worker: "Well It wouldn't kill me to be rebellious" *This man deserves to lose his job omg*

john.looksie: i fixed what i could for the text but guys it wont let me capitalize the second letter

ginger.ale[x]: Shame

Herc aderp: then the worker guy takes the bottle n leaves after Alexander gives his order and runs to sit down on the opposite end of the place from Jeff, Mad and Burr to be the stalker he is.

Herc aderp: Lyaf also just walked in when he shut off the video after mumbling "fuck me"

lyaf: I'm enjoying hot chocolate

john.looksie: You are my hot chocolate

ginger.ale[x]: gay

john.looksie: ShUT UP ALEX

Herc aderp: WHAT'RE THEY DOING NOW

lyaf: guys burr just updated on the chat with angelcake and cosplay.goddess

ginger.ale[x]: GOTTA GO FEST

 

 

 

 

a.burr: Unimportant side note before I begin, Thomas invited me into a chat with himself, Madison and another man named John Adams. I'm going to be running into John Adams a lot during my job at the office, so Thomas decided it was best to add me to the chat now than later.

angelcake: AW WHY I HATE THAT GUY

a.burr: I'm currently sitting down, waiting for our coffee orders to be called. Thomas, Madison and I were talking about politics for the first few minutes, but now we're just keeping up small talk. Nothing has changed drastically over the course

a.burr: I've lied.

cosplay.goddess: HOW COULD YOU I TRUSTED YOU 

a.burr: Thomas and Madison are off on another topic- Mac n Cheese? I feel like I'm missing something.

lyaf: no

john.looksie: No you're not

Herc aderp: Thomas just really likes Mac n Cheese

angelcake: ITS SO GOOD THO TBH

ginger.ale[x]: DONT SIDE WITH THE ENEMY

a.burr: .

cosplay.goddess: What were they talking about

cosplay.goddess: Yk before the Mac n Cheese Revolution

angelcake: They want a revolution

angelcake: I want a revelation

angelcake: So come and eat my pasta proclamation

Herc aderp: HOT DOG BUST THEM RHYMES GIRL

ginger.ale[x]: THIS IS NOT A TIME FOR HOT DOGS OR BUSTING OF THE RHYMES

a.burr: General things, such as where I've come from and what I've done. Thomas apparently came from Virginia, Madison

a.burr: .

ginger.ale[x]: CACKLING

a.burr: I can almost hear you cackling, actually

lyaf: ALEX

john.looksie: WhAT HAPPENED

a.burr: Thomas apparently got bad coffee? Madison took a sip of his own and decided that his was bad too. Give me a moment.

 

 

 

 

ginger-ale[x]: IM FUCKING DONE

lyaf: ^^^^^^!

john.looksie: WhAT HAPPENED

Herc aderp: SHOULD I ADD THE GIRLS TO GOSSIP TOO

ginger-ale[x]: THOMAS JUST 

ginger-ale[x]: N O

lyaf: ALEXANDER BREATHE

lyaf: Thomas took Aaron's cup even after Aaron tested it and explained that his tasted fine, then took a drink out of it and made some type of comment and Aaron is blushing whilst Madison is chuckling

lyaf: IM A JEALOUS FRENCHMEN RN

Herc aderp: WHAT THE FUCKDID HE SAY

john.looksie: Go bEAT UP THOMAS OMG

ginger-ale[x]: LIKE TBH I CANT EVEN MOVE IM SCARED WHAT IF THOMAS ACTUALLY HAS GAME

Herc aderp: WHO DO WE KNOW THAT HAS GAME????

john.looksie: ScREAMING 

ginger-ale[x]: OH MY GOD WAIT I KNOW WHO

ginger-ale[x]: Ugh but he's such an asshole

john.looksie: AlEXANDER WE'RE LOSING BURR

john.looksie: Im GONNA SHARE MY FIRST CONVERSATION WITH HIM AT JEFF N MADS N HIS WEDDING

Herc aderp: Aaww Three way wedding

lyaf: ALEXANDER

ginger-ale[x]: IS IT REALLY FUCKING WORTH IT THOUGH

Herc aderp: D U D E

ginger-ale[x] has added Kingsley to the chat!

Kingsley: What the

Kingsley: NO IM NOT HAVING A FIVE WAY GOSH GUys

Kingsley: ;)

ginger-ale[x]: SHUT THE FUCK UP WE NEED HELP 

Kingsley: Oh, right, forgot you were apart of this. 

ginger-ale[x]: I will cut off your testicles

lyaf: We need HELP

lyaf: REMEMBER ALEXANDER

Kingsley: Heh

Kingsley: Help with what? I've got shit to do aka find my goddamn boo

Herc aderp: EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP BURR CAN WAIT

Herc aderp: WHAT HAPPENED WITH YOU AND A BOO?

Kingsley: Oh right, I blocked ya'll on facebook

ginger-ale[x]: LISTEN LINDA I STG

Kingsley: CALM DOWN HAMILTON IM KIDDING

Kingsley: I'm dating a dude name Samuel, he's running around fucking England right now like an idiot

Kingsley: Enthusiastic! but jesus fuck is he a piece of work

Kingsley: Anyway what the diddly doo dang do ya'll need?

ginger-ale[x]: Ya'll explain to him while I go check the other chat for Burr to see if he typed 

 

 

 

 

a.burr: I think I'mma just cut the chat short

ginger.ale[x]: What? Why?

a.burr: Nothing's going to happen, it's just a coffee hang out

cosplay.goddess: What the hell did Jefferson and Madison do

angelcake: Madison is an innocent teddy bear

angelcake: What did Jefferson do?

a.burr: Nothing.

cosplay.goddess: ILL ADD JONNY INTO THIS

a.burr: DONT SNITCH

a.burr: OKAY

a.burr: Okay

a.burr: Jesus

angelcake: Bellamy really is the mom of your friend group

a.burr: No fucking kidding

ginger.ale[x]: HE DID IT

ginger.ale[x]: HE FUCKING DID IT

ginger.ale[x]: A DOT BURR JUST CURSED PRAISE THE FUCKING LORT

a.burr: I don't think the lord would appreciate that

ginger.ale[x]: GOOD BOI BURR

ginger.ale[x]: LEARNING 

a.burr: "Good boy Burr"

ginger.ale[x]: My Good Boy ;)

cosplay.goddess: STOP FLIRTING AND TELL US GOD DAMMIT

a.burr: Alright, Madison and Thomas's coffee apparently tastes ridiculously gross. So, Thomas reached to grab mine and tests it even though I have thoroughly explained to him that it tastes fine. He takes a drink, makes the most bewildered face, then smirks and says something like, "I suppose only things related to you seem to make my day right."

a.burr: I can't currently recall correctly, all I can think about right now is the fact that Thomas seems smug that I'm still drinking out of my coffee. As though this somehow proves

a.burr: I just realized why he seems smug. 

angelcake: INDIRECT KISSING OMG

a.burr: Yes indirect kissing

angelcake: Fuck Thomas kinda sounds like the hot boyfriend in the novels

angelcake: Yk the one who's cocky and smart and funny and flirtatious

ginger.ale[x]: Wait Burr are you completely aware of 

ginger.ale[x]: yk

a.burr: I'm aware that Thomas Jefferson is flirting with me, yes.

ginger.ale[x]: THEN

ginger.ale[x]: WHY

ginger.ale[x]: ARE YOU

ginger.ale[x]: THERE

a.burr: Because Madison asked nicely

ginger.ale[x]: THATS SO UNFAIR

angelcake: Burr do you know what's going on between Madison and Jefferson

a.burr: .

cosplay.goddess: THEYRE DATING DUDE

a.burr: Wait a diddly darn second

ginger.ale[x]: WHY DONT YOU CURSE

ginger.ale[x]: WHO DO YOU FEAR

angelcake: OML I WISH I COULD SEE YOUR FACE BURR IM SCREAMING

a.burr: I'm completely confused

cosplay.goddess: ITS CALLED A GANG BANG

a.burr: So this is to?

ginger.ale[x]: Because I am a sworn LGBT squad soldier

ginger.ale[x]: I have to sadly inform you the situation even though I hate Thomas and want you to think he's trash

a.burr: Mature

ginger.ale[x]: Thomas and Madison are both consenting to testing out something called a Polyamourus relationship. The just of this situation specifically is that they both want to date you and shit but also continue dating themselves. So it's much like a bigger base of a relationship foundation and love. 

a.burr: Sum up; They want to form a three-way relationship.

ginger.ale[x]: WELL I GUESS IF YOU WANNA BE BLUNT

angelcake: Burr do you even know how rude you are sometimes

a.burr: Actually, I don't. Matthias could tell you stories that seem completely different from what I remember where I seem like a complete ass.

ginger.ale[x]: INHALES

ginger.ale[x]: HE SAID ASSSSSS


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ginger.ale[x] - Alex H.  
> john.looksie - John L.  
> lyaf - G. Lafayette  
> Herc aderp - Hercules M.  
> ManoftheTV - Thomas J.  
> J.MadIsOn - James M.  
> a.burr - Aaron Burr  
> angelcake - Angelica S.  
> cosplay.goddess - Maria R.  
> matty - Matthias O.  
> Jon.BallIsLife - Jonathan B.  
> Kingsley - King George III  
> Adams - John A.  
> R.Mont - R. Montgomery

ginger.ale[x]: Okay so back over here

Kingsley: THEN THIS GUY, THIS BLOODY BLOKE, TURNS AROUND AND SAYS 

Kingsley: "IM AN ATHEIST"

Herc aderp: OOOOAHHHHHHHHH

john.looksie: I WOULDA KICKED HIS ASS

lyaf: OH MON DIEU

Kingsley: OH, BETTER NOT SAY THAT, THE GUYS AN ATHEIST

Kingsley: Oh hey, Alexander

ginger.ale[x]: What the fuck

Kingsley: I got riled up

Kingsley: Excuse me

ginger.ale[x]: Once again

ginger.ale[x]: What the fuck

john.looksie: Kingsley was telling us about how he said God bless you to this one dude, and he just fucking whIPPED AROUND AND SAID IM AN ATHEIST

ginger.ale[x]: Jesus

Kingsley: I got up to date with your drama

Kingsley: I'm still confused as to why you need my help

ginger.ale[x]: Okay well first don't pretend you aren't a fuckboy

Kingsley: Alright

Kingsley: You've got me

ginger.ale[x]: I need you to help us get Burr

Kingsley: Honestly Aaron sounds like a 

Kingsley: lyaf what did you call him

lyaf: Reserved

Kingsley: Ah Yes

Kingsley: Uptight 

Herc aderp: I am physically in pain

ginger.ale[x]: Inhales,

ginger.ale[x]: Exhales.

ginger.ale[x]: KG

ginger.ale[x]: Please help us.

Kingsley: Ughhh

Kingsley: Fine, because you're begging and I don't want to find Sam right now. 

ginger.ale[x]: Thank. You.

Kingsley: Ight, uptight Aaron over there isn't relaxing with Jefferson and Madison, is he?

lyaf: He appears on edge

ginger.ale[x]: That's because he is

ginger.ale[x]: He found out about Jefferson and Madison trying to form a poly with him

ginger.ale[x]: I think he's either overwhelmed or scared

lyaf: Of what?

Herc aderp: Maybe he needs more bros to protect him

Herc aderp: In this case we got like four so

john.looksie: HeLL YEAH LETS GO FORM A HUMAN WALL AROUND AARON

Herc aderp: JOHN CAN BE THE WINDOW

john.looksie: I am going to eat your fucking butterfingers

Herc aderp: GET YOUR PAWS OFF MY BUTTERFINGERS

ginger.ale[x]: As long as the Milky way is unharmed i am uncharitable

ginger.ale[x]: Anyway the answer is no

Kingsley: Alright, that's good. You need to make him comfortable, make him laugh or whatever

ginger.ale[x]: +1

Kingsley: Okay great, I've heard you been making him laugh

Kingsley: Now manipulate him

Herc aderp: Scuse me

ginger.ale[x]: Yeah what the fuck

Kingsley: Make him think whatever he's uncomfortable or scared about is forming a poly relationship and having no idea how to act

Kingsley: Then ease his internal struggle of The Fun Virgin™ by saying that you all have experience and you can ease him in and pave the road n all

john.looksie: That's fucking evil though

Herc aderp: Okay but what if that is what he's scared about

lyaf: Herc no

Herc aderp: NO JUST SAYING

Herc aderp: How do we as a group deal with that if he comes to us

Kingsley: Brb

ginger.ale[x]: What? Like, Aaron is actually interested in joining Thomas and James and comes to us for advice because he's scared?

Herc aderp: Yeah

john.looksie: I mean we'd need to tell him the truth right

john.looksie: That it's okay to be worried n shit but to do it if he wants to

lyaf: but with Jefferson and Madison

Herc aderp: ,

ginger.ale[x]: We aren't assholes we'd do it

ginger.ale[x]: ,,,, right,,,

lyaf: .

john.looksie: ,,,,

 

 

 

 

a.burr: Alright, I can see why that day sucks, but you still haven't come to the conclusion as to which problem was the start of everything. Either it's you running late to work, a person shredding up your speech, or you missing lunch.

Adams: It's everything, Burr. Every last bit. 

a.burr: Intriguing

ManoftheTV: Your sass is not unnoticed, Burr

a.burr: I'm being completely sincere, not one bit of sass lives within my soul.

Adams: What soul

a.burr: Did I ask

ManoftheTV: Yes, you did, actually

ManoftheTV: Right there in tiny blue font

a.burr: it was a rhetorical question

J.Madison: Why does this chat still breathe

ManoftheTV: ,,!,

Adams: I need you for some of the debates I get into with the Congress I stG

a.burr: I'm fairly quick on my toes with comebacks, but they're not meant to be used for evil

a.burr: Aka politics

Adams: TALENT WASTED, BURR. 

ManoftheTV: Can you imagine, Burr VS Washington

a.burr: Let's not 

Adams: Burr vs Hamilton

a.burr: letsnot

ManoftheTV: I'D TOTALLY SEE THAT

J.Madison: Look what you've done you've gotten him all riled up

J.Madison: I almost got him to bed, Adams

 

 

 

 

ginger.ale[x]: JEFFERSON IS GETTING REALLY EXCITED AND I WANT TO KNOW WHY

ginger.ale[x]: HE'S LIKE THROWING HIS HANDS AROUND AND TALKING QUICKLY TO BURR AND BURR LOOKS LIKE HES IN HELL

Herc aderp: BECAUSE HE IS

Herc aderp: THOMAS IS SO CRAZY WHEN HE GETS EXCITED ABOUT SOMETHING OMLLLL

john.looksie: HeRC WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THOMAS THAT WE DONT KNOW

Herc aderp: YATZEE TBH


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ginger.ale[x] - Alex H.  
> john.looksie - John L.  
> lyaf - G. Lafayette  
> Herc aderp - Hercules M.  
> ManoftheTV - Thomas J.  
> J.MadIsOn - James M.  
> a.burr - Aaron Burr  
> angelcake - Angelica S.  
> cosplay.goddess - Maria R.  
> matty - Matthias O.  
> Jon.BallIsLife - Jonathan B.  
> Kingsley - King George III  
> Adams - John A.  
> R.Mont - R. Montgomery

_a.burr has started a chat with matty, Jon.BallIsLife, cosplay.goddess._  

matty: What the heckle

matty: I though we were gonna facetime I brushed my hair and everything

Jon.BallIsLife: Are you still at the shop?

cosplay.goddess: SHOULD I BE WORRIED THAT IM HERE

a.burr: Why is Alexander Hamilton sitting three places away-eight places down from me?

matty: HE FOLLOWED YOU

Jon.BallIsLife: Lord help me

a.burr: Lord help ME.

cosplay.goddess: OML UGHH ALEXANDER

cosplay.goddess: Alright to be honest

cosplay.goddess: Burr you're a fucking lord to them rn

a.burr: She said it, not me

Jon.BallIsLife: Repent.

cosplay.goddess: No seriously Alexander fangirls and stuff

cosplay.goddess: Herc sends me screenshots

matty: Who's Herc?

a.burr: This is unimportant. Alexander and some other fellow followed me here. Last time Thomas and Hamilton were in the same place, Hamilton got coffee poured on him. 

matty: I DONT REMEMBER THIS STORY

 

 

 

 

cosplay.goddess: Alright listen Alexander you in big trouble now

angelcake: UGH ALEXANDER WHAT DID YOU DO

ginger.ale[x]: NOTHING

ginger.ale[x]: actually what did i do

cosplay.goddess: Burr knows youre there he can see you

ginger.ale[x]: HOW IVE BEEN WATCHING HIM THIS WHOLE TIME

ginger.ale[x]: The guy's a fucking ninja okay let me tell you

cosplay.goddess: Burr just messaged me telling me to either get you out or he's gonna have to blow your cover

ginger.ale[x]: WHAT

cosplay.goddess: NAH IM KIDDIN

cosplay.goddess: I CAN ONLY IMAGINE YOUR FACE THO TBH

angelcake: MARIA THIS IS NOT A GOOD TIME TO TAUNT ALEXANDER

ginger.ale[x]: I HATE YOU MARIA

cosplay.goddess: I KNOW BUT ITS SO WORTH IT LIKE

cosplay.goddess: I HOPE WHOEVER IS SITTING WITH YOU GOT A PIC

ginger.ale[x]: You're evil as fuck

cosplay.goddess: I have a best friend who's a lawyer of course I am

cosplay.goddess: Also Alex out of curiosity where are you from Burr

angelcake: ??

ginger.ale[x]: Three seats over and like eight places away 

ginger.ale[x]: Why

cosplay.goddess: IM FUCKING SCREAMFNING

cosplay.goddess has sent a photo with the caption: HOW

ginger.ale[x]: WHAT IS THAT

cosplay.goddess: A SCREENSHOT OF THE CONVERSATION I HAD WITH BURR IM SCREAMING

angelcake: I CAN HEAR YOU MARIA SHUSH WE HAVE NEIGHBORS

ginger.ale[x]: HE

ginger.ale[x]: HASNT

ginger.ale[x]: LOOKED

ginger.ale[x]: OVER

ginger.ale[x]: ONCE

ginger.ale[x]: HOW THE FUCK DID HE

ginger.ale[x]: K N O W 

cosplay.goddess: WHO THE FUCK IS EVEN AARON BURR NAH MAN THATS GOD DAMN MOMMA BURRB WITH EYES IN THE BACK OF HIS DAMN HEAD


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ginger.ale[x] - Alex H.  
> john.looksie - John L.  
> lyaf - G. Lafayette  
> Herc aderp - Hercules M.  
> ManoftheTV - Thomas J.  
> J.MadIsOn - James M.  
> a.burr - Aaron Burr  
> angelcake - Angelica S.  
> cosplay.goddess - Maria R.  
> matty - Matthias O.  
> Jon.BallIsLife - Jonathan B.  
> Kingsley - King George III  
> Adams - John A.  
> R.Mont - R. Montgomery

a.burr: Thomas, Madison and I have decided to ditch the coffee place (after Thomas has given the man at the counter a long chewing out that Madison had kept numb to my ears by talking about the routine of my job.) We are now going to take a long way back to the job, then return to work for the remaining two hours. 

 

 

 

 

ginger.ale[x]: I think we should follow them

lyaf: or

lyaf: now stay with me

lyaf: WE STOP BEING STALKERS

ginger.ale[x]: THATS SO LAME THOUGH

john.looksie: Maybe, we can make a group chat with Burr and just get to know him there and hang out

lyaf: ALEX I REFUSE TO BE KNOWN AS THE STALKER FRENCHMEN

ginger.ale[x]: LYAF I NEED YOU TO BUY SOME OVARIES AND GET WITH THE PROGRAM

Herc aderp: SCREAMING

Herc aderp: STOP TELLING PEOPLE TO GET OVARIES

Kingsley has left the chat. 

ginger.ale[x]: GOOD RIDDANCE

Herc aderp: I FEEL SO SORRY FOR KG TBH OMLLLL

lyaf: He couldn't handle us

john.looksie: WhY YALL IGNORE ME

ginger.ale[x]: Oh what did you say

ginger.ale[x]: ⚆ _ ⚆

lyaf: Alexander dont you dare become a Thomas with those goddamn faces

ginger.ale[x]: I FOUND THE SITE HE USES IM SO PROUD

Herc aderp: OH BOY LEMME SHOW YOU MY PERSONAL FAVOURITES

Herc aderp: ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ

ginger.ale[x]: ಠ╭╮ಠ

Herc aderp: (ง'̀-'́)ง

ginger.ale[x]: (ಥ﹏ಥ)

Herc aderp: (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ !!

ginger.ale[x]: !!  ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜)

lyaf: I'm done

john.looksie: What about the lenny face

john.looksie: Oh MY GOD I TOOK OFF THE EYEBROWS OF THE LENNY FACE AND JESUS

john.looksie: (° ͜ʖ°)

ginger.ale[x]: WHAT DO YOU SEE, LENNY FACE?

Herc aderp: ALL

lyaf: SCREAMING OMGGG

lyaf: IT STARES INTO YOUR SOUL

ginger.ale[x]: ON A HAPPIER NOTE

ginger.ale[x]: John what did you say

john.looksie: O I said why dont we just add burr into a chat and yk

john.looksie: Just talk and be normal

ginger.ale[x]: here's the thing ITS HARD TO BE NORMAL AROUND HIM

ginger.ale[x]: I'm tripping over myself trying to make him laugh

lyaf: But eyy, it's workin'

Herc aderp: I think John has a plan

john.looksie: ThANK U HERC UR MY LOVE

Herc aderp: YOURE WELCOME

ginger.ale[x]: But what if I do something dumb

lyaf: Dumber than usual?

ginger.ale[x]: I STG LAF I CAN HIT YOU RN

john.looksie: YoU'LL BE FINE, JUST ACT LIKE YOU DO AROUND US. DID YOU SEE HOW QUICKLY AARON REPLIED WHEN HERC TALKED TO HIM ON THE CHAT WITH MARIA N ANGELICA

ginger.ale[x]: That's because he knows Herc

lyaf: CMON HAMILTON GET PUMPED GET READY GET BLAZED 420 MEXICAN FOOD BURNT POPCORN RAZOR SHARP EYEBROWS LETS DO THIS

john.looksie: HeLL YEAH GET PUMPED 

ginger.ale[x]: YEAH IM PUMPED

Herc aderp: FUCKING PUMPED

ginger.ale[x]: WHAT IF HE LEAVES THE CHAT

lyaf: DONT START HAMILTON STAY PUMPED

lyaf: WE'LL DO IT TOMORROW SO WE DONT OVERWHELM HIM

lyaf: OKAY?

ginger.ale[x]: OKAY YEAH

john.looksie: ToMORROW WE RIDE

Herc aderp: Or get ridden

john.looksie: why wait till tomorrow

john.looksie: ᕕ(✧ᗜ✧)ᕗ

ginger.ale[x] has left the chat. 

lyaf has left the chat. 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ginger.ale[x] - Alex H.  
> john.looksie - John L.  
> lyaf - G. Lafayette  
> Herc aderp - Hercules M.  
> ManoftheTV - Thomas J.  
> J.MadIsOn - James M.  
> a.burr - Aaron Burr  
> angelcake - Angelica S.  
> cosplay.goddess - Maria R.  
> matty - Matthias O.  
> Jon.BallIsLife - Jonathan B.  
> Kingsley - King George III  
> Adams - John A.  
> R.Mont - Richard Montgomery

a.burr: If the sun isn't up; why the hell am I

matty: Oh no

matty: Doeth my eyes decieve me

a.burr: I stg mat

matty: Is Aaron bein'

matty: A LIL CRY BABY

a.burr: Matt I will personally hire someone to punch you

matty: What side of the bed did you wake up on

a.burr: The one where I got minimal sleep

a.burr: I completely understand why Alexander is zombie-ish and doesnt give a heck about what he wears

matty: At least Alexander looks good when he doesnt try

a.burr: What are you insinuating

matty: .

matty: Well if the boot fits,

a.burr: Don't you dare western this chat

matty: IF THE BOOT

a.burr: M a t t y

matty: FITS

a.burr: Expect death at 8:00 tomorrow

matty: AM or PM

a.burr: Both

matty: How the heck

Jon.BallIsLife: Apparently if 2/3 of this friend group can't sleep on the weekend

Jon.BallIsLife: None of us can

matty: He finally understands

a.burr: I've had a realization

a.burr: I hate my friends

matty: What're you gonna do about that

a.burr: Find new friends

a.burr: Ones that will defend my honor

matty: Like napkin

Jon.BallIsLife: And chip

a.burr: Mmm Watcha Say

matty: I need you to be sleep deprived more

matty: You act differently

matty: but in a good way

a.burr: I'm just too tired

a.burr: to care

Jon.BallIsLife: Since when have you ever cared

a.burr: Can't you just let me pretend

Jon.BallIsLife: I'm sorry

Jon.BallIsLife: Aaron? Not care? I can't believe those words were used in the same sentence.

Jon.BallIsLife: Do we need to drive down there to console you? 

Jon.BallIsLife: Should I add Monty into this?

a.burr: NO

matty: OmL

matty: He would kill us if we added him to the chat this early

a.burr: If I have to drive down there to kick your butts; I will

Jon.BallIsLife: I think Aaron wants Monty in the chat

a.burr: Guess who's losing a friend today

matty: JON I STG

a.burr: I'm going to walk to George Washington's office

a.burr: Red faced

a.burr: and he's going to ask me why

matty: "Because my friend added my dadmom to the chat"

a.burr: Fired in 2.0 seconds

Jon.BallIsLife: Then you can sleep

a.burr: .

a.burr: But do I want that on my record

 

 

 

 

ginger.ale[x]: JOHN WHERE DID YOU PUT THE PAPERS

john.looksie: In THE LEFT POCKET OF YOUR BAG

ginger.ale[x]: IM SCREAMING NO ITS NOT THERE

lyaf: WHICH HAND MAKES THE L, ALEX

ginger.ale[x]: NEVERMIND

Herc aderp: I'm screenshotting this

Herc aderp: Tumblr has nothing on me

ginger.ale[x]: I haven't been on tumblr in forever

lyaf: You're not missing anything

john.looksie: YoU LAIR

john.looksie: PaNDAS ARENT ENDANGERED ANYMORE

ginger.ale[x]: LYAF I WANT A PANDA FOR MY BIRTHDAY

lyaf: no

ginger.ale[x]: HERC I WANT A PANDA FOR MY BIRTHDAY

Herc aderp: WHAT KINDA PANDA

ginger.ale[x]: RED PANDA

Herc aderp: OKAY

ginger.ale[x]: YAYY

lyaf: HERC NO

john.looksie: I WANT A PANDA

Herc aderp: OKAY

Herc aderp: WHAT KIND

lyaf: NO NO PANDAS

john.looksie: I want a german Panda

john.looksie: Is that okay

Herc aderp: I'm sure there's panda's in Germany

lyaf: Ykw fine ya'll get pandas

lyaf: Let's have a whole house full of pandas

ginger.ale[x]: HECK YEAH

Herc aderp: BOOYAH

john.looksie: YeS THIS IS A GREAT DECISION

ginger.ale[x]: What the hell Aaron Burr's here

ginger.ale[x]: WORK STARTS IN TWO HOURS

ginger.ale[x]: WHY IS HE HERE

john.looksie: Oh no it's another Alexander

Herc aderp: INVITE HIM INTO THE CHAT HINT HINT

lyaf: Ey perfect opportunity! We can keep him company

ginger.ale[x]: I'm nervous

Herc aderp: Don't woRRY I GOT IT

lyaf: HERC

john.looksie: ScREAM

ginger.ale[x]: HERC NO WAIT

Herc aderp has added a.burr to the chat!

Herc aderp: HI AARON HOW YOU BE

a.burr: Oh so tired

ginger.ale[x]: Then why the hell are you HERE BURR

a.burr: Yesterday was overwhelming, I think it'd be smart to start early today and get work done effeciently

ginger.ale[x]: What'd washington say when he saw you

a.burr: "God forbid you end up like Hamilton"

a.burr: You're uncharacteristically popular here 

ginger.ale[x]: I'm very popular B)

Herc aderp: So Burr what do you do in your freetime

john.looksie: GoOD QUESTION

a.burr: I don't think I do anything out of the normal

a.burr: Read, TV, talk to my friends

Herc aderp: THATS MATTY B AND MAMA PIGEON RIGHT

a.burr: Matty B and Mama Pigeon

a.burr: I'm going to use that

Herc aderp: Make sure to (c) it to me bro

a.burr: Of course

a.burr: That's like not paying before you sing the birthday song

ginger.ale[x]: I'm sorry

ginger.ale[x]: What

lyaf: I'm lost here too

john.looksie: Burr wy talkin about

a.burr: Wait you guys honestly dont know

a.burr: The birthday song is copywrited and you're suppose to pay, I believe to be, .50 each time you sing it. 

Herc aderp: YOURE KIDDIN

lyaf: MON AMI IM GOING TO JAIL

ginger.ale[x]: NO I NEED A LAWYER

john.looksie: ThIS IS BULL

ginger.ale[x]: IM GOING TO BE IN SO MUCH DEBT THIS IS INSANE

a.burr: "Alexander Hamilton and three other men arrested for not paying Birthday fines"

Herc aderp: You are a fucking Lawyer

Herc aderp: That was the smoothest news line alive

a.burr: That is honestly the best compliment I've recieved in years

john.looksie: Burr either you dont appreciate compliments about your appearance

john.looksie: Or you just really love the fact that you're a lawyer

a.burr: If I could marry a statement, it would be "Aaron Burr's a lawyer."

ginger.ale[x]: Oh boy look I'm the human equivalent of that statement

lyaf: HAM I STG

john.looksie: ThE STATEMENT HAS FOUR WORDS ALEX YOU CAN BE "LAWYER"

john.looksie: I must be the word "a"

Herc aderp: Because it's short

john.looksie: I WILL SET FIRE TO THIS HOUSE

a.burr: 420 Blaze it

john.looksie: How did you know there was weed here

ginger.ale[x]: JOHN I STG DONT TELL THE FUCKING LAWYER ABOUT OUR WEED

Herc aderp: GOD DAMMIT JOHN NOW HE'S GONNA HAVE TO VISIT

lyaf: WHAT EVER WILL WE DO

a.burr: Unique and spontaneous way of inviting me over, +10 to the Jury.

Herc aderp: I just realized I didn't pick a word

Herc aderp: I CALL AARON

lyaf: I can hear you laughing

lyaf: This leaves me with "Burr's"

a.burr: Are you all insinuating I have to marry each and every one of you because you're the equivalent of my statement

ginger.ale[x]: Yes that's exactly what we're doing

a.burr: Well I cant backout NOW

lyaf: HUE

Herc aderp: YAS

john.looksie: We WED AT DAWN


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ginger.ale[x] - Alex H.  
> john.looksie - John L.  
> lyaf - G. Lafayette  
> Herc aderp - Hercules M.  
> ManoftheTV - Thomas J.  
> J.MadIsOn - James M.  
> a.burr - Aaron Burr  
> angelcake - Angelica S.  
> cosplay.goddess - Maria R.  
> matty - Matthias O.  
> Jon.BallIsLife - Jonathan B.  
> Kingsley - King George III  
> Adams - John A.  
> R.Mont - R. Montgomery

john.looksie: -Takes up rooty tootie mcshooty- Put 'Em Up I want the money

a.burr: Wait a second you're robbing a dollar store

a.burr: WHY

john.looksie: ItS FOR THE SAKE OF THE ROLEPLAY BURR THATS NOT THE POINT

a.burr: WHAT DO WE BENEFIT FROM ITEMS STOLEN THAT ONLY SELL FOR ONE DOLLAR

a.burr: IM NO SINNER BUT DONT YOU TYPICALLY WANT GOOD THINGS LIKE LAMPS THAT AVERAGE A 19.99 RATE

ginger.ale[x]: Dollar store cashiers need something to spice up their day too

Herc aderp: -Cashier gasps in hurrrur-

a.burr: I'm genuinely pleased nobody pointed out the "I'm no sinner" part of my text

lyaf: A.burr you are nO SAINT

a.burr: NAME ONE SIN

ginger.ale[x]: I can name one future sin

ginger.ale[x]: B)

lyaf: Burr aren't you a LAWYER 

lyaf: THOSE HAVE RESERVED SEATS N HELL DONT YOU WATCH FAMILY GUY MON AMOUR

a.burr: Who the heck watches TV anymore

ginger.ale[x]: whodoyoufear

a.burr: Get up n read that book you've been dreading 

a.burr: whodoyoufear?

Herc aderp: YOU WILL NOT GET ME TO READ THE FUCKING DICTIONARY I STG

a.burr: ITS A QUEST MANY HAVE ATTEMPTED BUT NOT SUCCEEDED DONT YOU WANNA BE PART OF THE COOL KIDS 

Herc aderp: ITS LIKE READING A BILLION THOUSAND MILLION PAGES

a.burr: This is why you need to read the dictionary

ginger.ale[x]: trains, George when he's mad, RLLY BIG DOGS, Rlly small dogs, Herc when he cooks something foreign, locals with no care of jay walking, Jefferson actually having intelligence, bees, BEES, wasps, bugs, except the centipede, people named Rosemary, escalators, god forbid SWIMMING

a.burr: o

lyaf: NOW YOU GOTTA ANSWER MON AMOUR

a.burr: Well I mean I didn't make that promise

john.looksie: DoNT BE A LAWYER

Herc aderp: "DONT BE A LAWYER" -2016

a.burr: ALRIGHT

a.burr: Alright

a.burr: Fire, My equivalent of "George when he's mad", House phones, the ocean, large flying birds, Jon getting wind of ME CURSING LIKE A SAILOR

ginger.ale[x]: What the hell that wasnt as big as mine

ginger.ale[x]: ILL PROTECT YOU FROM JON

john.looksie: HuMAN WALL

a.burr: I don't fear a lotta things

Herc aderp: What about stranger danger

a.burr: I'm comfortable

a.burr: I handled Jefferson and Madison rather well

ginger.ale[x]: Someone spray febreze

ginger.ale[x]: I smell shit

lyaf: Wait a second, Mon Amour, who's your equivalent of "George when he's mad"?

a.burr: Oh, that's Monty

a.burr: .

a.burr: Excuse me, I meant Mr.Montgomery

ginger.ale[x]: Something about that seems familair

a.burr: He's head of my justice practice down in New Jersey, Him and I are very close

lyaf: Wait a second

lyaf: Is he your dad

a.burr: To be honest, Jon and Matty refer to him as my "dadmom"

ginger.ale[x]: I WANNA MEET HIM

a.burr: n o

ginger.ale[x]:Cmon you gotta meet my father figure

john.looksie: He ADMITS IT OMG

lyaf: SOMEONE TELL GEORGE

Herc aderp: LETS GET BOTH DADMOMS IN THE SAME CHAT

ginger.ale[x]: WAIT NO

a.burr: N O

Herc aderp: ILL ADD MATTY B AND JON INTO THIS I STG

john.looksie: ShOULD WE

ginger.ale[x]: NO I WILL DIVORCE ALL OF YOU

a.burr: plea s e

Herc aderp has added matty and Jon.BallIsLife into the chat!

lyaf: HUEHUE

john.looksie: HeRC LMAO

ginger.ale[x]: DONT SCROLL UP

Herc aderp: HI MATTY B

matty: Heyo!

matty: What's happenin'?

a.burr: Jon, Matt

a.burr: If you respect our friendship

a.burr: You'll leave this chat

Jon.BallIsLife: Oh

matty: O

Jon.BallIsLife: Well in that case maybe I need to tell your dad about this chat

a.burr: NO

ginger.ale[x]: EVEN YOUR FRIENDS ARE AGAINST YOU IM SCREAMING

lyaf: MON AMI ADD WASH N DADMOM

a.burr: I AM GOING TO HAVE TO BE MY OWN LAWYER WHEN I GO TO COURT FOR KILLING YOU ALL

matty: OH

Jon.BallIsLife: This is perfect, actually, because I just got off the phone with him and he would love to embarrass you in front of your new friends

a.burr: Aaron Burr reported to have killed several men today in what one might call a murderous rave. 

john.looksie: MuRDEROUS RAVE I STGGG

Herc aderp: WHY IS IT THAT LAWYERS MAKE THE BEST HEADLINES

a.burr: It's because we feed off of approval 

ginger.ale[x]: You have my approval B)

lyaf: Ale x and e r

matty: Inhales

a.burr: I'm a rare species of lawyer, however, so approval does not fit in my diet

Jon.BallIsLife: Gotta cut 'em short, don't you, Aaron?

a.burr: I'll do anything as long as you dont add Monty into this

Jon.BallIsLife: Quit your job and come back home

a.burr: I'm not going back home

ginger.ale[x]: Wait so you'll quit your job

Jon.BallIsLife has added R.Mont to the chat!

a.burr: You've b e t r a y e d m e

Herc aderp: HI DADMOm

john.looksie: HiII

ginger.ale[x]: HELLO DADMOM IVE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT YOU

Jon.BallIsLife: Hello, Mr. Montgomery

matty: Hi 'Mery

a.burr: Sir, if you at any point (even at this very moment) feel compelled to leave this chat, do not hesitate to do so. I have forewarned these men of your status quo and it would be a permanent stain to your attendence of vigilant justice to take the time to belittle us publicly.

R.Mont: Summery: Get out, Dad, you're embarrassing me!

a.burr: If I agree to that statement will you leave

R.Mont: Absolutely not,

R.Mont: I have nothing better to be doing anyway

a.burr: MONTY

R.Mont: Hello, Everyone! You're Aaron's new friends?

ginger.ale[x]: Wow this is familiar

lyaf: Yes

Herc aderp: DIDDLY STRAIGHT MOMDAD 

john.looksie: Something Herc is not

Herc aderp: Why did you have to rat me out

R.Mont: It's not like I'm straight either

a.burr: Jon does God forgive you if you set a whole business on fire

Jon.BallIsLife: No

Herc aderp: IM SCREAMING RIGHT NOW

ginger.ale[x]: DADMOM IS FUCKING LIT OMG

john.looksie: DaDMOM DO YOU HAVE ANY STORIES

lyaf: ,,!,

R.Mont: Well, one of the most action-packed ones includes a cigar, a young man, three police cars and a news cast

ginger.ale[x]: AARON HE'S OURS NOW OKAY

a.burr: Who's Aaron

a.burr: I'm Antonio Burr, the new secretary

R.Mont: Well as long as Aaron isn't here, let me tell you the time he broke the printer and then it "accidentally" caught on fire because he didn't want to get yelled at.

a.burr: IT D I D CATCH ON FIRE

ginger.ale[x]: IM SCREAMING

Herc aderp: Shut uP ANTONIO GO GET ALEX COFFEE

lyaf: MON AMOUR

ginger.ale[x]: GET ME SOME COFFEE WHILE PAPA DADMOM TELLS US A BEDTIME STORY

matty: I love this


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ginger.ale[x] - Alex H.  
> john.looksie - John L.  
> lyaf - G. Lafayette  
> Herc aderp - Hercules M.  
> ManoftheTV - Thomas J.  
> J.MadIsOn - James M.  
> a.burr - Aaron Burr  
> angelcake - Angelica S.  
> cosplay.goddess - Maria R.  
> matty - Matthias O.  
> Jon.BallIsLife - Jonathan B.  
> Kingsley - King George III  
> Adams - John A.  
> R.Mont - R. Montgomery

R.Mont: So obviously when this 5'3 kid comes in I'm expecting something natural to be confused about on your first day, such as "Where's the printer, sir?" Or even "What room did you want me to take it to?" 

a.burr: Please stop

Jon.BallIsLife: Let it happen

ginger.ale[x]: I'm so glad we did this

R.Mont: Instead I get, "The printer's on fire and your Second-Hand employee fainted when I told her about it." In the most casual voice I've heard in my days.

Herc aderp: BURR IM SCREAMING

john.looksie: WhAT THE FUCK I THOUGHT NEWYORK WAS FULL OF CRAZY STORIES AARON HOW THE HELL DID YOU SET THE PRINTER ON FIRE

a.burr: I DIDNT SET IT ON FIRE, IT COMBUSTED AND I JUST BACKED AWAY

a.burr: I WAS FIFTEEN I DIDNT DESERVE THIS

john.looksie: I DONT BELIEVE YOU

a.burr: N O B O D Y D O E S

Jon.BallIsLife: Aaron's life would have never been ruined too if the engineer guy came earlier to fix the security camera in that room

R.Mont: How convenient for young Aaron Burr

a.burr: I hate you

ginger.ale[x]: wait Dadmom what did you do next

R.Mont: Near had a heart attack, ran to check on said printer and sure enough it was on fire. However, Aaron took the time to remove the paper in it before coming to tell me, so those were set aside. Not I but God knows WHY he took the time to,

lyaf: HUE

john.looksie: AaRON WHY 

a.burr: I DONT KNOW THE FIRST THOUGHT I HAD WAS "Darn that's a lot of paper to waste" AND FIGURED I WAS HANDLING THE SITUATION

Herc aderp: AARON BURR IS A TREE HUGGER I S T G

matty: treehugger

ginger.ale[x]: Aaron took the fricken time to take out paper, tell the Second Hand person, then as a last resort go to you, because you started off the job telling him only to go to you for emergencies

ginger.ale[x]: Talk about listening to fucking ORDERS

a.burr: If that's the only positivity I can get out of this story I will take it

R.Mont: I'm glad I could help

a.burr: Dont you have a job to do, Old man??

R.Mont: Don't you, Youthful Idiot?

ginger.ale[x]: IM SCREAMING

Herc aderp: Hello my name's Steve Harvey and I'm going to interview the "Sassiest family alive"

Herc aderp: Aaron, Dadmom, Mama pigeon and Matty B, how does it feel?

a.burr: Why do you wanna know

matty: It feels like your job

Jon.BallIsLife: No comment

R.Mont: It feels like spending a day in disneyland with high heels

ginger.ale[x]: Look what's on my bucket list now

ginger.ale[x]: Meeting you all in real life

a.burr: I joined this chat expecting a good time and instead I got-

a.burr: Monty, did I tell you that ginger.ale[x] is the secretary of treasury?

ginger.ale[x]: Burr what are you doing

Herc aderp: I smell a storm

john.looksie: Someone pray

a.burr: Insinuating that he knows The Secretary of State, you're favourite, Thomas Jefferson?

R.Mont: YOU KNOW THOMAS JEFFERSON

ginger.ale[x]: IM SO SCARED WHATS GOING ON

lyaf: MON AMOUR WHAT ARE YOU DOING

R.Mont: Listen to me young man, you tell that secretary THIS, word for word: 

ginger.ale[x]: oh god i'm going to get fired

 

 

_matty has started a chat with a.burr and Jon.BallIsLife!_

matty: I can't believe you TOLD HIM THAT

Jon.BallIsLife: You know Monty hates Jefferson

a.burr: If I have to deal with it; so do they. 

Jon.BallIsLife: Burr, I'm not very fluent, but Mon Amour in French is My Love, isn't it?

a.burr: Is it? Lafayette has been calling me that for a bit now

matty: Why

a.burr: Well, Lafayette, John, Alexander, Hercules and myself are to be married because they're the human equivalent of the statement "Aaron Burr's a lawyer"

Jon.BallIsLife: I don't know what the hell happened; but Repent for your sins

a.burr: My sins have yet to be developed for me to repent over them

matty: Are you saying you are going to sin

a.burr: ,,, No comment


	19. Chapter 19

_ginger.ale[x] has started a chat with a.burr, john.looksie, lyaf, Herc aderp._

ginger.ale[x]: ICECREAM?

lyaf: AT 7???

ginger.ale[x]: AT 7

Herc aderp: HELL YEAH

john.looksie: YeS

ginger.ale[x]: BURR?

ginger.ale[x]: SIR?

a.burr: Sure

ginger.ale[x]: HELL YEAH

 

 

 

 

_ginger.ale[x] has started a chat with angelcake, cosplay.goddess, lyaf, Herc aderp, john.looksie._

ginger.ale[x]: OKAY LISTEN WE NEED TO BE SMOOTHER THEN SMOOTH

Herc aderp: SMOOTH TO THE SECOND

cosplay.goddess: Ah so you've finally seen the perks of being friends with me

ginger.ale[x]: Shush Maria I only invited you because angelica would have

angelcake: Where the lie

cosplay.goddess: I DONT NEED THIS NEGATIVITY IN MY LIFE

lyaf: Alex, we're not going to do anything crazy to Aaron are we

lyaf: Let's not set his car aflame

Herc aderp: How was I suppose to know to NOT do that

Herc aderp: AND STOP BRINGING IT UP DAMMIT

john.looksie: Sorry Matty B n myself were chatting

ginger.ale[x]: EXCUS E EM E 

lyaf: HUM?

Herc aderp: OHHHIYOHIYO

ginger.ale[x]: JOHN

john.looksie: ChILL

john.looksie: He's just talkin to me n we're talking about Aaron rn

john.looksie: Matt says Aaron's texting him and Mama pigeon furiously

ginger.ale[x]: Is

ginger.ale[x]: Is that bad

lyaf: Yes we've already blown our chance

Herc aderp: SEE THIS TIME IT WASNT ME

lyaf: ALL IN FAVOUR OF BLAMING HERC SAY I

lyaf: ALL APPOSED SAY NEI

ginger.ale[x]: I

angelcake: I

lyaf: I

Herc aderp: Maria pls

cosplay.goddess: Why we stuttering fam

cosplay.goddess: OH

ginger.ale[x]: MARIA I STG

cosplay.goddess: NEIIGHH SOMEONES GOTTA PROTECT BABY HERC

angelcake: Well if you wanna be a horse you can sleep OUTSIDE

cosplay.goddess: I

Herc aderp: IM SCREAMING 

lyaf: HUEHUE

john.looksie has sent a photo with the caption: Don't snitch

ginger.ale[x]: O

Herc aderp: o

lyaf: oh

angelcake: O

cosplay.goddess: YOU DUMB SHITS AARON IS FREAKING OUT BECAUSE HE ACTUALLY WANTS TO LOOK COOL AROUND YOU WHY ARE YOU OH-ING

cosplay.goddess: BE GRATEFUL HE ONLY ACCEPTED THOMAS AND MADS BECAUSE THEY WERE ON A HIGHER ROCK THEN HIM

angelcake: OML MARIA

Herc aderp: T HE. TE A WAS SP I L T

ginger.ale[x]: OH IM SO RUBBING THIS IN DUMB-FUCKS FACE

john.looksie: AlEXANDER NO DONT SNITCH ME OUT MAN

john.looksie: ThE ONE TIME I DO SOMETHING GOOD FOR THIS RELATIONSHIP

cosplay.goddess: IM YELLING

 

 

 

 

a.burr: Let's say, hypothetically, I trip and fall on my face than what

matty: They laugh

a.burr: You're on your last straw, young man

matty: IM OLDER THAN YOU

a.burr: I WENT TO SCHOOL TO BE A LAWYER NOT A MATHEMATICIAN

Jon.BallIsLife: Heaven help me


	20. Chapter 20

john.looksie: Alexander pls

ginger.ale[x]: John

ginger.ale[x]: I love you 

ginger.ale[x]: So much

ginger.ale[x]: Dare say more than Pepsi

lyaf: You hate pepsi

Herc aderp: HA

ginger.ale[x]: But John

ginger.ale[x]: I'm using this tea

ginger.ale[x]: For my own personal game

ginger.ale[x]: Aka Jefferson

ginger.ale[x]: i'm gonna shoot jefferson

john.looksie: WhY DO YOU ALWAYS GO LOWER CASE WHEN YOU GET STONE COLD ALEX

john.looksie: AlSO NO

john.looksie: DoNT BETRAY MY TRUST WITH MATTY B

john.looksie: It TOOK A LOT OF COURAGE TO CHAT HIM CMON MAN

lyaf: Alexander cmon

lyaf: Cmon Alexander

lyaf: Ander cmon

lyaf: Cmon Alex

john.looksie: LaF YOURE NOT HELPING

lyaf: WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO JOHNNY

lyaf: DO YOU WANT ME TO GIVE HIM A VIRUS WILL THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY

Herc aderp: WHY WOULD YOU GIVE HIM ANOTHER VIRUS HE ALREADY HAS YOU LAF

ginger.ale[x]: OOOOOHH

john.looksie: KeBSAKDBWKS DAMN

lyaf: HERC I WILL BURN YOUR TAYLOR SWIFT

john.looksie: GoOD FUCKING BURN THEM

Herc aderp: NO

Herc aderp: SHIT

Herc aderp: I MEAN I LOVE YOU LAF

lyaf: oh how much

Herc aderp: SomuchI'ddieforyou

lyaf: Oh well you dont have too babe

lyaf: Taylor will instead

ginger.ale[x]: I AM IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH COLD HEARTED BITCHES

Herc aderp: LYAF WBSKSBWLS

john.looksie: Im S C R E AM I N G

john.looksie: LaF LOCKED HERC OUT OF HIS ROOM ALEX

ginger.ale[x]: JESUS

Herc aderp: ANSKWJSOS ALEX DO SOMETHING

lyaf: IM FINDING THE CD'S YOU LIL SHIT

ginger.ale[x]: NAH MAN MY SET IT OFF CDS ARE IN THERE I AINT GETTIN INTO THIS MESS

john.looksie: LaF/:/!/&/!/@/!!!!

lyaf: WHAT

john.looksie: AlEX DONT SPILL THE DAMN TEA OR ELSE LAF DESTROYS THE DISCS

ginger.ale[x]: WHAT THE FUCK

Herc aderp: LAF BABY I LOVE YOU

lyaf: DONT SPILL THE TEA ALEX OR SET IT OFF BURNS WITH TAYLOR

ginger.ale[x]: NO DONT NOT WITH TAYLOR THEYRE SO MUCH BETTER NO

john.looksie: PrOMISE

ginger.ale[x]: WHY AM I GETTING ATTACKED

lyaf: PRO MI. SE

ginger.ale[x]: GOD DAMN I HATE YALL FINE

Herc aderp: Ah now that that's settled

Herc aderp: LAFAYETTE PLEAAASSEEE

lyaf: A negotiation can be made

john.looksie: I shall judge this negotiation

lyaf: John shall judge the negotiation

ginger.ale[x]: Ya'll always tag team me and Herc what the hell

 

 

 

 

a.burr: I cant believe you added Monty to the chat

Jon.BallIsLife: Come back home and it wont happen again

a.burr: You literally helped me pack my stuff

Jon.BallIsLife: I broke your plate

a.burr: Did you think that would stop me

matty: I dih

matty: NO

matty: I WAS DOING SI WRLL

matty: N O

a.burr: BURN

Jon.BallIsLife: I was honestly waiting for the day that keyboard comes back for revenge

matty: I haye my life

matty: mfl

matty: HOW

a.burr: My Funny Life

Jon.BallIsLife: Magical Furry Lizard

a.burr: Mistooken Friendly Larry

Jon.BallIsLife: My Friend Logan

matty: I have lost respect for myself and my friends

a.burr: Ah, that's good to know that you still respect me

matty: BURR DID I ASK FOR YOUR SASS

a.burr: NO BUT IM GIVING YOU A FREE SERVICE

Jon.BallIsLife: I'm going to splash both of you with Holy Water

a.burr: I'll melt

matty: Yeah he'll melt

a.burr: Also I have an allergy to water so

a.burr: No can do buckaroo

Jon.BallIsLife: Don't you have a date you can be worrying about

a.burr: What

a.burr: OH MY GOD NO

matty: HOW THE HELL DID YOU FORGET YOU WERE LITERALLY SOBBING ABOUT IT TO US

a.burr: I GOT CAUGHT UP WITH WORK ITS IN TEN MINUTES CRAP

Jon.BallIsLife: I don't frequently go on mom mode but

Jon.BallIsLife: AARON BURR.

a.burr: I KNOW

a.burr: JUST LET ME RUSH TO GIVE THIS TO GEORGE AND I CAN FIGURE SOMETHING OUT WHAT AM I GOING TO DO

matty: I DONT UNDERSTAND JUST GO IN WHAT YOU'RE WEARING OR WHAT YOU HAVE

a.burr: AND LET ALEXANDER AND THE JURY THINK I DRESSED UP FOR THOMAS AND NOT THEM SCREW THAT

Jon.BallIsLife: You make it sound like you have a crush on them

a.burr: Jon I will fight you

Jon.BallIsLife: BUT WILL YOU WIN

 

 

 

 

Herc aderp: So you want me to

Herc aderp: Buy the icecream

Herc aderp: Do the house chores for the next week in an apron

Herc aderp: And cook dinner for a month

lyaf: John does that seem fair

john.looksie: No more listening to taylor

Herc aderp: WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO

john.looksie: Without headphones

Herc aderp: Oh that seems okay

lyaf: The CD's stay in the ruddy car you have

ginger.ale[x]: Can we add clean your car to that list

Herc aderp: no

lyaf: Yes

lyaf: Yes we can

Herc aderp: LITERALLY NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS FAIR

ginger.ale[x]: Are ya'll on your way to the ice cream placey thing

ginger.ale[x]: I was thinking you could pick me and Burr up

ginger.ale[x]: Because I want to flirt with him

lyaf: Yes we are, John is driving

Herc aderp: I'm trying to hack his phone

lyaf: He changes his password every month Hercules it aint gonna work

Herc aderp: IM LITERALLY RIGHT NEXT TO YOU JUST TALK TO ME

ginger.ale[x]: God you guys are so weird

ginger.ale[x]: Aha! I found Burr

ginger.ale[x]: He looks

ginger.ale[x]: Bothered

ginger.ale[x]: Sexy Bothered not irritated bothered

Herc aderp: Pic

ginger.ale[x]: IM NOT SENDING A PIC

lyaf: Why does he appear bothered?

Herc aderp: John said Matty sent him screen shots of Aaron exclaiming about how he's worried he's gonna end up looking like a fool maybe that's why

ginger.ale[x]: AARON JUST BRUSHED THOMAS OFF IM SCREAMING

ginger.ale[x]: IGHT WE WALKING TO LEAVE RIGHT AND THOMAS COMES UP OUTTA NOWHERE AND BASICALLY PUSHES ME ASIDE AND ASKS AARON IF HE'D LIKE TO GET COFFEE AGAIN

ginger.ale[x]: AARON STRAIGHT UP SAID NO THANKS IM WITH ALEXANDER MY NEW INCREDIBLE BOYFRIEND AND WALKED AWAY

Herc aderp: Wow He said that

Herc aderp: Word for word

ginger.ale[x]: ALRIGHT MAYBE HE SAID "NO THANK YOU IM GOING OUT WITH ALEXANDER TODAY" BUT EITHER WAY JEFFERSON LOOKS TICKED OFF AND IM LOVING IT

lyaf: Why must you always piss him off

Herc aderp: Make him giggle we've been through this giggling is cute

ginger.ale[x]: Such sweet victory mmm

ginger.ale[x]: It tastes like Chocolate and Strawberry swirl

ginger.ale[x]: BURR SAID HIS FAVOURITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR IS COOKIE DOUGH PASS IT ON

Herc aderp: LAFAYETTE

lyaf: YES

Herc aderp: AARON'S FAVOURITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR IS COOKIE DOUGH

lyaf: WOW

lyaf: WHAT USEFUL INFORMATION TO HELP OUR CURRENT PREDICAMENT


	21. Chapter 21

a.burr: I'm so nervous right now and I shouldn't be

matty: Just breath dude

matty: Is it because you're with Alexander?

a.burr: No, I think it's because of the atmosphere

Jon.BallIsLife: I will kick their asses if they're being fuckheads

a.burr: JESUS

matty: HE CURSED OMG

matty: JONATHAN CURSED SOMEONE GO TELL ON HIM

matty: JON WHERES YOUR MOM IM TELLING HER

a.burr: NO JON ITS OKAY ITS NOT LIKE THAT SHHH 

Jon.BallIsLife: BETTER HOPE NOT

matty: JON YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD FRIEND LMAO

a.burr: You are, Jonathan, and for that I am so grateful

a.burr: BUT nothing about the atmosphere is bad, it's just so different

Jon.BallIsLife: Alexander isn't doing anything inappropriate?

a.burr: Other than being a huge dork, no

matty: We need to visit, man, we worry all the time about you

a.burr: a visit would be nice, to be honest

Jon.BallIsLife: Y'know, I bet we could visit next week on a weekend

matty: That would be SO COOL

a.burr: Do you think?

a.burr: Brb ordering icecream

a.burr: Back

Jon.BallIsLife: Welcome back

matty: Weba

a.burr: Alexander just dropped his icecream cone against his face and it's all over

matty: omg I want a picture

a.burr sent a picture with the caption: Wow

matty: MAKING IT A MEME

Jon.BallIsLife: My lord

a.burr: Wait a second

a.burr: Thomas just...? Texted me?

 

 

 

 

_ManoftheTV has started a chat with a.burr._

a.burr: Thomas? I'm out with Alexander and his friends, couldn't this have waited?

a.burr: Thomas...?

a.burr: Is this something to do with work?

ManoftheTV: You had me up again from the minute you sat down

a.burr: Sir?

ManoftheTV: The way you bite your lip, got my head spinning around

a.burr: ...

ManoftheTV: After a drink or two, I was puddy in your hands

ManoftheTV: I don't know if I have the strength to stand...

a.burr: ...Wait a second

ManoftheTV: Trouble, Troublemaker yeah that's your middlename

a.burr: I know you're no good but you're stuck in my brain...?

ManoftheTV: AND I WANNA KNOW

a.burr: WHY DOES IT FEEL SO GOOD BUT HURT SO BAD

ManoftheTV: MY MIND KEEPS SAYING RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN

a.burr: I SAY IM DONE BUT THEN YOU PULL ME BACK

ManoftheTV: I SWEAR YOU'RE GIVING ME A HEART ATTACK

a.burr: YOU'RE SUCH A DORK

ManoftheTV: Not true

a.burr: Says who

ManoftheTV: Madison

a.burr: So if I was to add him to this chat he wouldn't think that was positively dorky

ManoftheTV: Of course not \\( ꘠ Ĺ̯ ꘠ )/

a.burr has added J.MadIsOn to the chat!

ManoftheTV: \\( ☉ Ĺ̯ ☉ )/

a.burr: ^^^^^

J.MadIsOn: Thomas is this truly what you do in the small amount of free time you get for today

ManoftheTV: Yes

 

 

a.burr: Back

a.burr: Thomas just started this lyric chain with me and

a.burr: Hold on now Madison is trying to talk to me

matty: You need to stop being so popular

 

 

J.MadIsOn: Burr

a.burr: Yes?

J.MadIsOn: you're shining like a 5th avenue diamond

a.burr: Oh

J.MadIsOn: They don't make you like they used to, You're never going outta style

a.burr: Thanks

ManoftheTV: Pretty baby, this world might've gone crazy,

a.burr: Oh gosh darnit

J.MadIsOn: The way you save me; who can blame me when I just wanna make you smile?

ManoftheTV: I wanna thrill you like Micheal

J.MadIsOn: I wanna kiss you like prince

ManoftheTV: Let's get it on like Marvine Gaye

J.MadIsOn: Like Hathaway, write a song for you like this...

a.burr: ,,,,

a.burr: Ican'tresistthisismyfavouritesong

a.burr: You're over my head!

ManoftheTV: I'm outta my mind!

J.MadIsOn: Thinking I was born in the wrong time!

a.burr: One of a kind, living in a world gone plastic

J.MadIsOn: Baby you're

ManoftheTV: So classic

a.burr: I regret giving you my username

ManoftheTV: NO YOU DONT ( ò ᗜ ó )

a.burr: I am suppose to be paying attention to these dorks over here

a.burr: Instead I am caught between a rock and a tight place

ManoftheTV: ᕙ( ᚖ ω ᚖ )ᕗ I'm the rock

a.burr: You're the tight space

J.MadIsOn: how did you know Thomas was a bottom

a.burr: I

a.burr: I'm sorry HM?

ManoftheTV: MADISON

ManoftheTV: NO

ManoftheTV: YOU

a.burr: I have been given KNOWLEDGE I can use for EVIL

J.MadIsOn: What type of evil, Aaron?

ManoftheTV: ⎝ ✧ v ✧ ⎠woof

a.burr: I am so through with this conversation I swear

ManoftheTV: I JUST COULDNT LEAVE YOU ALONE SORRY AGÁPI MOU

a.burr: Agápi mou?

ManoftheTV: It's Greek ;)

J.MadIsOn: You are so proud of your bilingual self get outta here Thomas

 

 

 

 

_ginger.ale[x] has started a chat with john.looksie, lyaf, Herc aderp, cosplay.goddess, Trickster.Pegs, angelcake, IamLighterfluid._

ginger.ale[x]: Help me guys

IamLighterfluid: Alexander? What's happening, hun?

john.looksie: Hi ELIZA

IamLighterfluid: HI JOHN HOW ARE YOU

john.looksie: WeRE ON A DATE WITH AARON BURR

IamLighterfluid: HOW EXCITING OMG IVE HEARD YOU GUYS RAMBLE ABOUT HIM YESTERDAY AT THE GROCERY STORE

angelcake: Wait a second Alexander why do you need help shouldn't you be focusing on BURR

lyaf: Burr is having a small fit of giggles and trying to hide his phone

lyaf: Whatever the reason; he's increasingly adorable

Herc aderp: Alex cmon now dont be jealous of the phone just because it's making him giggle like a school girl

john.looksie: Yeah alex leave the damn phone alone

ginger.ale[x]: YALL DONT UNDERSTAND

lyaf: Alexander turns his head slightly to the side in distress, throwing a hand to cover his eyes as the light from the sun illuminated his face and emphasised the shadows

lyaf: "Ya'll don't understand..." He whispers

Herc aderp: A single tear

Trickster.Pegs: LMAO

ginger.ale[x]: YOU ALL SUCK

cosplay.goddess: Seriously yo whats the deal fucking im trying to watch kevin hart

IamLighterfluid: SAME

Trickster.Pegs: KEVIN HART IS SO FUNNY

ginger.ale[x]: BURR IS TALKING TO THOMAS AND MADISON GUYS

john.looksie: WaIT A FUCKING SECOND WHAT

lyaf: N-

lyaf: NO HE'S NOT

Herc aderp: NO HE'S NOT

john.looksie: No HE S NOT

angelcake: You guys are the most MELODRAMATIC WHITE GIRLS I KNOW

angelcake: LET HIM BE HE'S JUST JOKING WITH THEM

john.looksie: OoH MYYY GOOODDDDD

john.looksie has forwarded a photo from matty with the caption: ThEYRE FLIRTING

ginger.ale[x]: CMON MAN THOMAS WORKS FUCKING FAST WHAT THE SHIT

Herc aderp: Wait a second did Madison just sell Thomas out for being a bottom

lyaf: I PUTAIN SAVAIS!!!!!

ginger.ale[x]: AARON IS BLUSHING SO HARD RIGHT NOW

ginger.ale[x]: JO H N !!

john.looksie: On IT

john.looksie has forwarded a photo from matty!

john.looksie has forwarded a photo from matty!

lyaf: WHAKSBSKSBSKS NO

lyaf: I AM ANGRY

lyaf: MAD

lyaf: MA. D

IamLighterfluid: Oh wow Madison is a good flirt who woulda thought??

cosplay.goddess: Honestly I would have thought it would have been Thomas to be the major flirt

angelcake: Alright ladies let me let you in on a secret

angelcake: Thomas is such an awful flirt

angelcake: Listen he can pretend to be all that but when he's really trying he stutters and it's absolutely adorable

angelcake: It's even better when he's trying to be normal and ask question to start conversation because than you can tell he's interested

cosplay.goddess: AWW DO YOU THINK HE LIKE ACTUALLY REALLY REALLY LIKES BURR

ginger.ale[x]: I DONT GIVE A SHIT IF HE REALLY LIKES BURR I WANT HIM

Trickster.Pegs: I GOT IT GUYS

Herc aderp: Holy fucking shIT PEGGY WHATS UP MY HOE

Trickster.Pegs: WHATS UP MY MAIN MAN HERC

john.looksie: PeGGY WHAT DO YOU GOT

IamLighterfluid: Yeah, do tell, Peggy

Trickster.Pegs: SAY ITS A NO PHONE ZONE AND PUT DOWN THE PHONES SO BURR HAS NO CHOICE BUT TO LISTEN TO YOU

ginger.ale[x]: ...

ginger.ale[x]: That's a really smart idea

Herc aderp: hELLL YEEAAHHHH GO PEGS MASTERRR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The comments on the previous chapter really helped me out and I would like to thank that special group of friends for really bumping up my insentive to keep this fanfic going


	22. Chapter 22

Jon.BallIsLife: Aaron?

matty: Aaron?

Jon.BallIsLife: Aaron?

Jon.BallIsLife: Aaron?

matty: Aaron?

matty: ,,,??

matty: Aaron?

Jon.BallIsLife: AARON

matty: Yo Aaron you there??

matty: JON ITS BEEN TWELVE MINUTES WHAT DO WE DO

Jon.BallIsLife: Aaron If you're ignoring us I will drive down there right NOW

matty: JON ITS BEEN THIRTY MINUTES

Jon.BallIsLife: Oh wow really

Jon.BallIsLife: Thanks Matthias I didnt have a clock on my phone or anything to tell

matty: JON THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO BE SASSY

Jon.BallIsLife: ITS MY COPING MECHANISM MATTHIAS

matty: STOP USIN MY FULL NAME

Jon.BallIsLife: MATTHIAS OGDEN MATTHIAS OGDEN MATTHIAS OGDEN

matty: JONATHAN BELLAMY I WILL GO STRAIGHT DOWN TO YOUR CHURCH AND KICK YOUR BEHIND

Jon.BallIsLife: YOU'LL BE PRAYING FOR FORGIVENESS AND MERCY 

a.burr: JESUS WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO I LEAVE FOR AN HOUR AND YA'LL ARE SNAPPING YOUR TEETH

Jon.BallIsLife: I AM FACETIMING YOU RIGHT NOW

a.burr: NO YOU'RE NOT IM STILL WITH ALEXANDER

Jon.BallIsLife: OH YES I AM

matty: OH YES WE ARE

a.burr: OH MY GOD OKAY JUST GIVE ME A DIDDLY DANG SECOND

 

 

 

 

ginger.ale[x]: I am so happy right now that plan was a total success thank you Peggy

Trickster.Pegs: Of course dude

Herc aderp: I think Aaron got in trouble with his friends tho

lyaf: I can live with that

john.looksie: Thomas is probably pissed off too

lyaf: I can live with that too

IamLighterfluid: How did the whole date go?

ginger.ale[x]: I DROPPED ICE CREAM ON MY FACE ELIZA

ginger.ale[x]: I EMBARRASSED MYSELF IN FRONT OF THE FIFTH MAN I LOVE

john.looksie: Wait a second

john.looksie: *Counts off on fingers*

john.looksie: Herc, lyaf, myself, Aaron...??

lyaf: MON AMOUR IS THERE A MAN WE DONT KNOW ABOUT

Herc aderp: WHO IS THE FOURTH DOUCHEBAG

ginger.ale[x]: ME

ginger.ale[x]: IM THE DOUCHEBAG

Herc aderp: I knew it

ginger.ale[x]: I LOVE MYSELF OVER ALL OF YALL WHATRE YOU KIDDING

cosplay.goddess: oMFG ALEXANDER IS CONFIDENCE GOALS

angelcake: guYYS I WANNA KNOW WHAT ALL HAPPEN

ginger.ale[x]: OKAY ILL TELL THE STORY BECAUSE I AM THE BEST GOD DAMN STORY TELLER HERE IGHT

john.looksie: He's also the fastest typer so

ginger.ale[x]: CORRECT

ginger.ale[x]: NOW AARON AND I GO TO THE CAR IGHT

ginger.ale[x]: WE SITTIN THERE JOKING WITH EACH OTHER AND AARON BRINGS UP HIMSELF CONTEMPLATING ON GETTING A DOG BECAUSE HES LONELY AND I STG HERCULES FUCKING

Herc aderp: AHHAHA

ginger.ale[x]: "IF YOU WANT A DOG WE HAVE ONE IN THIS CAR" AND LOOKS TO ME

lyaf: I FORGOT ABOUT THAT LMAOO

john.looksie: MeE TOO

cosplay.goddess: O O H MY G O  D D 

ginger.ale[x]: SO AFTER THAT WE GET TO ZESTOS

Herc aderp: NO NO NO THERE WAS MORE

ginger.ale[x]: NO THERE WASNT

lyaf: ALEX YOU FORGOT THE BEST PART

ginger.ale[x]: UGH CMON GUYS

john.looksie: AaRON FUCKING SLAYED ALEXANDER AFTERWARD

angelcake: WHAT HAPPENED

cosplay.goddess: I love Aaron so much

lyaf: ANGEL HE LOOKS TO ALEXANDER AND EYES HIM UP AND DOWN BEFORE SAYING HE'D PREFER A PUREBREED OVER A MUTT AND WINKED AT ME

Trickster.Pegs: OH MY G OOO OODDDDD

Herc aderp: IT WAS SO FUNNY

IamLighterfluid: AAWWW ALEX BABY ARE YOU OKAY

ginger.ale[x]: I HATE YOU ALL

ginger.ale[x]: HATE

angelcake: AHHH I WANT TO JUST HARVEST AARONS SASS SO MUCH UGHHH

cosplay.goddess: A good season for growth

john.looksie: Aaron ordered Cookie dough ice cream and he let me take a bite of it

cosplay.goddess: GO FUCKING JOHN LAURENS HOLY SHIT DAMN BOY HE SWINGIN FROM THAT VINE THAT TREE BETTER WATCH OUT FOR HIM

john.looksie: I KNOW HE LE T.  ME TAKE A B I.  T E

Herc aderp: The tree better watch out for him omfg

IamLighterfluid: uGH I WANNA MEET AARON

cosplay.goddess: HEY THIS IS A PERFECT TIME TO ANNOUNCE ME N ANGELICA ARE GONNA HAVE A HALLOWEEN THEMED DANCE NEXT WEEK WEDNESDAY YALL IN

angelcake: OMG I FORGOT ABOUT THAT YEAH

angelcake: You have to dress up tho like no "I'm going as myself" shit

angelcake: Looks at Lyaf

lyaf: I will go as the hottest man on earth

john.looksie: Robert Downey Jr?

ginger.ale[x]: Ryan Reynolds??

cosplay.goddess: God damn that man is hot...

Herc aderp: Papa smurf??

ginger.ale[x]: HERC YOU AND YOUR DAMN SMURF KINK

lyaf: None of you have guessed right and that upsets me

Trickster.Pegs: Chris Hemsworth?? 

lyaf: No but I would let that man fuck me senseless

ginger.ale[x]: ABSLSHS

john.looksie: SaME THO

lyaf: CMON ITS NOT THAT DAMN HARD

IamLighterfluid: DAVID BECKHAM

lyaf: YES !

ginger.ale[x]: ARE YOU KIDDING

john.looksie: *Shoves Iron Man poster into closet* 

IamLighterfluid: You have reminded me that there are attractive men in the world

cosplay.goddess: LMAO

angelcake: IM ALREADY GOING AS BATGIRL SO NOBODY CAN TAKE THAT

ginger.ale[x]: THATS FUCKING BULLSHIT I WANNA BE BATGIRL

angelcake: FUCK YOU ALEX ITS MINE

ginger.ale[x]: FINE IM GOING AS A DRAGON FUCK YALL

cosplay.goddess: OmfggGGGG

cosplay.goddess: I WANNA BE HARLEY QUINN

Herc aderp: I WANNA BE A DALMATION

john.looksie: OmGOMG ILL LINK FROM LEGEND OF ZELDA

ginger.ale[x]: OM M G. G G F F F

Trickster.Pegs: I have come to the conclusion that i will be BB8 from Star Wars

IamLighterfluid: ILL BE A PRINCESS

angelcake: MORE LIKE A WITCH

IamLighterfluid: FIGHT ME ANGELICA

cosplay.goddess: LMAO

ginger.ale[x]: AH BURR'S DONE GETTING HIS ASS CHEWED OUT CAN I ADD HIM TO THIS

angelcake: OF COURSE

ginger.ale[x] has added a.burr to the chat!

a.burr: Oh wow that's a lot of messages

cosplay.goddess: BURR GUESS WHAT

a.burr: YOU GOT A NEW VASE

cosplay.goddess: NO BUT I DID GET NEW FLOWERS TO PUT IN THE OTHER ONE

a.burr: What colour? Do they match the blue?

cosplay.goddess: I mean the flowers are purple and black so

cosplay.goddess: They blend nicely with the tulips

a.burr: Maria why

ginger.ale[x]: I did not add you to this chat to talk about fucking flOWERS

a.burr: Oh? Why was I added?

Herc aderp: ANGELICA AND MARIA ARE HAVING ANOTHER PARTY NEXT WEEK ITS A COSTUME PARTY WHAT YA GONNA BE

a.burr: What're you

Herc aderp: A dalmation dog

john.looksie: Link from Legend of Zelda

lyaf: David Beckham

a.burr: Wait, really?

lyaf: Yes

IamLighterfluid: I'm going as a princess!!

a.burr: Oh, hello, I don't think I've met you?

IamLighterfluid: I'm Eliza Schuyler, Angelica's sister

Trickster.Pegs: IM PEGGY THE BEST SISTER 

a.burr: Trickster.Pegs? Homestuck reference? 

Trickster.Pegs: O. MY G O D YESSS

a.burr: Ah! What's the reference with your username, Eliza?

IamLighterfluid: I'm Genderfluid and I lit my bed on fire once

a.burr: ... Accident??

Trickster.Pegs: No

angelcake: No

cosplay.goddess: No

IamLighterfluid: YES IT WAS!

a.burr: I BELIEVE YOU WHOLEHEARTEDLY

IamLighterfluid: YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE

IamLighterfluid: WAIT A SECOND ARE YOU BEING SASSY

IamLighterfluid: I'VE HEARD ABOUT YOUR SASS YOUNG MAN

a.burr: NO I KNOW HOW THE HELL YOU FEEL BECAUSE THIS DAMN PRINTER COMBUSTED WHEN I WAS 15 AND NOBODY BELIEVES I DIDNT DO IT

ginger.ale[x]: HE FUCKING CURSED !!!!

ginger.ale[x]: AHH SOMEONE GO MARK THE CALENDAR

ginger.ale[x]: SOMEONE GO CALL THE POPE THIS MOMENT IS BIBLICAL

a.burr: Alexander one day I will send you a string of curses just to make you happy

ginger.ale[x]: Hopefully one day I'll be able to MAKE you say those strings of curses ;)

Herc aderp: AHHAHA AARON IS BLUSHING SO HARD RIGHT NOW

IamLighterfluid: ALEXANDER LEAVE HIM ALONE LMAJDBSKSHA

Trickster.Pegs: AHAHAHAAHAHAA

lyaf: AARON HIT ALEXANDER'S PHONE OUT OF HIS HANDS

john.looksie: LoVE THIS SO MUCH


	23. Chapter 23

Jon.BallIsLife: You can only go to the party if you text us every 10 minutes

a.burr: THATS FUNKY BULL STRIP NO

Jon.BallIsLife: 10

Jon.BallIsLife: Minutes

a.burr: Matty help me dude

matty: Nah man I agree

matty: You gave us a gosh darn scare yesterday dude

a.burr: This is extremely UNFAIR, I'm a grown adult

Jon.BallIsLife: You're an impressionable young man who needs constant surveillance 

a.burr: I'm 24, willing and able to make decisions on my own without a babysitter

Jon.BallIsLife: Oh yeah?

a.burr: Yeah.

matty: You've dug a hole now, Burr

a.burr: Nuh uh

matty: Yeah huh

a.burr: NUH UH

matty: YEAH HUH

Jon.BallIsLife: What're you gonna do when:

Jon.BallIsLife: Hamilton or Jefferson pressure you to do sex?

Jon.BallIsLife: There is alcohol involved?

Jon.BallIsLife: There is a strip poker game?

Jon.BallIsLife: Jello-shots?

Jon.BallIsLife: They want to watch a R-Rated movie?

Jon.BallIsLife: They ask you to smoke drugs???

a.burr: I hate it when you send things all at once

a.burr: Also NONE OF THAT WOULD HAPPEN

Jon.BallIsLife: Oh, I'm sorry, I thought I was talking to Aaron Burr, the same man I met in college freshmen year as a 15-year-old and had to be constantly with an adult because he was to shy to try and make friends.

a.burr: I WAS 15, IN A FOREIGN PLACE, AND EVERYBODY WAS BIGGER THAN ME

matty: Everybody is STILL bigger than you

a.burr: That is so unfair I AM NOT SHY ANYMORE

Jon.BallIsLife: No?

a.burr: No

a.burr: I just dont want to talk to people

Jon.BallIsLife: Because you're shy

a.burr: JON I WILL STRAIGHT UP WATCH AN R RATED MOVIE AND DO THE ORAL SEX

matty: OH

Jon.BallIsLife: REPENT

Jon.BallIsLife: YOU DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO DO ORAL SEX

a.burr: ILL FIGURE IT OUT

matty: AARON WHEN WILL YOU EVER GET THE OPPORTUNITY TO FIGURE IT OUT

a.burr: Did you juST

a.burr: MATTY I AM SO READY TO FIGHT YOU

matty: COME AT ME MR. 5 FOOT 1

a.burr: JON

Jon.BallIsLife: I thought you didn't want a babysitter

a.burr: UGHH

 

 

 

 

ginger.ale[x]: Alright

ginger.ale[x]: Who

ginger.ale[x]: The fuck

ginger.ale[x]: Told Jefferson and Madison

ginger.ale[x]: About the dAMN PARTY

john.looksie: NoOO THAT WAS SUPPOSE TO BE THE NIGHT WE GANG BANG

lyaf: I dunno my loves Aaron's got a good way of deflecting our damn flirts

lyaf: Mine at least

Herc aderp: Hey yeah he totally has Laf around his finger dude

ginger.ale[x]: WHO INVITED JEFFERSON AND MADISON

lyaf: MON AMI WHY WOULD ANY OF US DO THAT

ginger.ale[x]: I am so PEEVED

ginger.ale[x]: UGHHH

 

 

 

 

 

a.burr: IM NOT TEXTING YOU EVERY TEN MINUTES

Jon.BallIsLife: I WILL BRING MONTY INTO THIS

a.burr: M A T T Y

matty: OH NO IM NOT GETTING INTO THIS IF MONTY IS

a.burr: UGH YOU'RE ALL SO MELODRAMATIC

Jon.BallIsLife has added R.Mont to the chat!

a.burr: OH MY GO O O O O OSH

R.Mont: Every 3 minutes

a.burr: NO, MONTY

Jon.BallIsLife: YOUR DADMOM HAS SPOKEN

R.Mont: Every 1 minute

a.burr: UGHHH

 

 

 

 

_ginger.ale[x] has started a chat with G.Washington, lyaf, Herc aderp, john.looksie, angelcake, IamLighterfluid, cosplay.goddess, Trickster.Pegs, a.burr._

ginger.ale[x]: IGHT

ginger.ale[x]: MNOT MAD

ginger.ale[x]: WHO DID IT

Trickster.Pegs: I think someone is mad

lyaf: MON AMI THIS IS REDICULOUS

Herc aderp: ALEX IM SURE IT WAS JUST A MISTAKE

ginger.ale[x]: WHO TOLD THEM

a.burr: Scuse me for interrupting, I'm just a personal secretary who tosses out the files and brings the expensive hot coco

a.burr: But dear Secretary of Treasurey, what the heck are you talking about

ginger.ale[x]: Who

ginger.ale[x]: Told Thomas and Madison about the party

a.burr: Why are you on a first name basis with Thomas but not James

ginger.ale[x]: WHY ARE YOU ON A FIRST NAME BASIS WITH EITHER OF THEM

G.Washington: What is this all about now

ginger.ale[x]: Sir this is a matter of life or death turn away now or face the blood shed

G.Washington: Did somebody steal the creamer again??

Herc aderp: NO BUT I HEARD WHOEVER DID THAT GOT THEIR ASS HANDED TO EM

john.looksie: HiI DAADDDD

G.Washington: Hello, John

ginger.ale[x]: THREE SPECIAL LADIES HAVE YET TO TALK

IamLighterfluid: DONT LOOK AT ME I HATE THOMAS

angelcake: I MADE SURE NOT TO TELL THEM??

ginger.ale[x]: ,,, MARIA

ginger.ale[x]: MARIA WHERE ARE YOU

cosplay.goddess: INBETWEEN SOME THICK THIGHS GETTING CANDY WHAT THE FUCK YA WANT

G.Washington has left the chat.

Herc aderp: OOH MYY GOOOO. DDDDD

angelcake: MA R I. A

john.looksie: FuCKIN DEAD

ginger.ale[x]: MARIA DID THAT CANDY SUCKING HAPPEN AFTER YOU TOLD THOMAS AND MADISON ABOUT THE PARTY OR BEFORE

cosplay.goddess: I DIDNT TELL THEM SHIT

cosplay.goddess: GOD DAMN HOME GIRL CANT EVEN SUCK SOME WITHOUT GETTIN BAGGED ON

a.burr: Why is it significant that Thomas and James come, can I ask?

cosplay.goddess: Oh my god burr you just saw me admit to

cosplay.goddess: I AM SO SORRY

ginger.ale[x]: Because I dislike Thomas very much, Aaron, and so do a lot of people

a.burr: O

ginger.ale[x]: Yeah sO WHOEVER DID IT COME CLEAN N OW OR AT LEAST TELL THEM TO LEAVE

 

 

 

 

 

a.burr: ILL AGREE TO 10 MINUTE UPDATES IF YOU GUYS JUST HELP ME OKAY

Jon.BallIsLife: What do you need help with

R.Mont: Who dare makes Montgomery's small Burr distressed

matty: We insist you update us every 10 minutes because we know you will need help and you only agree because you need our help the irony is sweet

a.burr: shUT UP MATTY

a.burr: I did something bad and I don't really want to fix it

R.Mont: Son, if you know it's bad you should fix it

Jon.BallIsLife: What did you do?

a.burr: I invited... Thomas Jefferson and James Madison to that... party...

R.Mont: WHY

matty: WHY

Jon.BallIsLife: REPENT.

a.burr: I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY EVERYBODY IS SO AGAINST THEM THEY'RE COOL GUYS??

R.Mont: A A RON

matty: THOMAS IS TRASH CMON

matty: MAYBE MADISON IS COOL IDK I DONT REALLY KNOW ABOUT HIM

Jon.BallIsLife: AARON THEYRE GOING TO PRESSURE YOU TO DO THE SEX

a.burr: IF ANYTHING THOMAS WILL PRESSURE ME TO DO THE WII GAMES TO BE HONEST

matty: Wait there's going to be a Wii

a.burr: It's a costume party did I mention that or

R.Mont: AARON

a.burr: THIS IS NOT AS BAD AS YALL THINK OKAY

Jon.BallIsLife: We're moving down there with you

a.burr: I don't have enough room in my apartment

Jon.BallIsLife: Buy a new one, it's set in stone now.

a.burr: Oh my gosh, that still doesn't help me!

a.burr: Alexander is angry about it and I don't want to tell Thomas and James they can't come

a.burr: They're really nice to me, I'm not doing that

Jon.BallIsLife: UGH okay, fine, as a Priest I can give you helpful advice that will set you back on the correct path

a.burr: Thank you

Jon.BallIsLife: You need to admit to telling Thomas and James about the party, that will ease Alexander and because Alexander respects you, he will respect your decision. Hopefully, it's in God's hands. If he still thinks it's a bad idea to bring Thomas and James to the party, you must hear him out and see if you can get them on mutual ground rules for said party. If not, it might be best for them to stay away. 

Jon.BallIsLife: Does that help?

a.burr: Monty...?

R.Mont: Don't tell either of them and just roll with it

a.burr: okay

matty: HA

Jon.BallIsLife: Lord in the stars, hold me back...


	24. Chapter 24

_ManoftheTV has started a chat with a.burr and J.MadIsOn._

ManoftheTV: GUESS WHO'S GOING AS A KNIGHT

ManoftheTV: It's me \\( ◕ ᴥ ◕ )/

J.MadIsOn: Would have NEVER guessed

a.burr: That's ironic

ManoftheTV: How so?

a.burr: Alexander is going as a dragon

ManoftheTV: I can SLAY him

a.burr: Epic Rap Battles of History:

a.burr: Dragon VS Knight

ManoftheTV: Hell YES

J.MadIsOn: What are you going as, Burr?

a.burr: I have yet to decide

J.MadIsOn: You can go as a lawyer

a.burr: Angelica said no dressing up as yourself

ManoftheTV: What about a sexy lawyer

a.burr: Angelica said no dressed up as yourself

ManoftheTV: (ง ✧ ヮ ✧ )ง Fight me

J.MadIsOn: Well, I know I'm going as wet floor sign so

a.burr: Wait

a.burr: *Insert stop hand emoji here*

a.burr: What

ManoftheTV: I said the same thing

J.MadIsOn: Well I found this old costume of a wet floor sign and I thought it would be creative

a.burr: You're not wrong

a.burr: Y'know maybe I'll just go as a lawyer and use the loophole that I'm not technically a lawyer anymore, I'm actually a Personal Secretary who happened to go to Law school

ManoftheTV: ,,,

J.MadIsOn: ...

ManoftheTV: you're a lawyer

J.MadIsOn: You're a lawyer

 

 

 

 

 

ginger.ale[x]: I should ask Washington if he'll send an order out to force Aaron to have a sleep over with us

lyaf: Don't use your boss for personal gain

Herc aderp: Use your boss for personal gain

john.looksie: SlUMBER PARTY

Herc aderp: HECKADOODLE DOO YES

lyaf: Do we even know how to do a slumber party

john.looksie: Disco rave music and a lotta soda

Herc aderp: S o  d a

ginger.ale[x]: Strawberry soda

john.looksie: OrANGE.

Herc aderp: Flavourless soda

lyaf: Is that a thing

Herc aderp: No but we can lie and just set out water

ginger.ale[x]: THAT WOULD BE SO FUNNY

john.looksie: We CAN CALL IT SOMETHING OBSURD LIKE AIRTOFFEE OR SOMETHING

lyaf: Plus que probablement, Herc va confondre avec quelque chose de réel et de se retrouver avec une forte teneur en sucre

Herc aderp: AGUEGUEGUE I HAVE MY FRENCH APP LOCKED N LOADED

lyaf: O

john.looksie: OoH LAF IN TROUBLE NOW

ginger.ale[x]: He probably just typed up nonsense

lyaf: I typed honesty and liberty

Herc aderp: HEY YOU PIECE OF GAY

lyaf: Honesty

Herc aderp: ILL FIGHT YOU

lyaf: And liberty

john.looksie: WhAT DID HE SAY

Herc aderp: HE SAID THAT ILL THINK ITS REAL AND GET A SUGAR HIGH

john.looksie: BeLDBSOSUWGSKSBSSK

ginger.ale[x]: OMFGGGGGGG

ginger.ale[x]: HEY DID I TELL YALL WASHINGTON IS GOING TO THAT PARTY

lyaf: My time to seduce

ginger.ale[x]: Laf no

Herc aderp: Laf has a huge daddy kink let's not pretend

Herc aderp: He also has a huge kink for being a DICKMUNCH

lyaf: I have a huge President kink 

ginger.ale[x]: LAF WHY

lyaf: Authority...

john.looksie: and liberty

Herc aderp: 300% Offended

ginger.ale[x]: IM AUTHORITIVE

Herc aderp: HAHAHAAAAAA

john.looksie: HeBSKSHSKSB

lyaf: HUEHUE

ginger.ale[x]: DICKHEADS

john.looksie: Im WHEEZING

john.looksie: AlEXANDER YOU ONCE TOLD ME TO SIT DOWN AND PREPARE FOR A SCOLDING AND THAN ADDED "IF YOU WANT TO"

Herc aderp: ALEX YOU ARE LITERALLY THE LEAST AUTHORITIVE GUY IN HERE

ginger.ale[x]: I'm gonna show you just how wrong you are one day

lyaf: I'm fairly certain that you're less authoritive then burr

john.looksie: Can we talk about how Burr played Laf when we went to get ice cream

lyaf: OUI OUI OUI !

ginger.ale[x]: Laf i was gonna ask you about that like wth happen dude

lyaf: Burr and I have been sharing glances the whole time we're there, Oui, and finally he locks eyes with me and doesnt stop staring 

lyaf: Unknown to me i'm leaning in because this is typically the sign you all give me to kiss you

lyaf: and Burr leans down and licks my ice cream cone because "it was melting"

john.looksie: ThATS WHAT HAPPEN I SAW YOU BLUSHING SO HARD AND BURR HAD THE BIGGEST SMIRK

lyaf: Gênant

Herc aderp: Burr is my spirit animal

ginger.ale[x]: Burr is really smart,,,

ginger.ale[x]: But four heads is better than one so we can out smart him

Herc aderp: Hey did you know that the sun is actually white

ginger.ale[x]: Three heads are better than one so we can out smart him

john.looksie: NoO ITS NOT ITS YELLOW

Herc aderp: BOI ITS WHITE BC ITS FULL OF LIGHT AND LIGHT IS WHITE

ginger.ale[x]: Two heads are better than one

lyaf: Preschool told us it was yellow why would they lie

Herc aderp: The fuck if I knwo

ginger.ale[x]: Okay so I'll just think of something

ginger.ale[x]: I GOT IT

Herc aderp: Alex is the sun white

ginger.ale[x]: Yes it is

lyaf: PRESCHOOL LIES

john.looksie: ImM CALLING MY DAD RN AND IM DEMANDING HE TELLS ME THE TRUTH

ginger.ale[x]: GOD DAMMIT GUYS I GOT A PLAN

john.looksie: WaT IT IS?

lyaf: Doge

Herc aderp: Wrong meme

lyaf: There dat boi is

Herc aderp: Wrong saying

lyaf: Tis I the American Fry

Herc aderp: Do you do this on purpose

ginger.ale[x]: Ight I'll need the girl's help but we need Burr to dress up as a Prince

ginger.ale[x]: Or a princess

Herc aderp: Men in heels are my kryptonite

lyaf: John I know what I'm getting you this christmas

john.looksie: Fuck you I want a pogo stick

Herc aderp: Wait why does he need to be royalty

ginger.ale[x]: Because I'm going as a dragon and I can slyly use roleplay and steal him from everybody and bring him to us

lyaf: Smart

john.looksie: Gang bang

ginger.ale[x]: John do you just want to get fucked is that whats goin on

john.looksie: I'm literally ready and willing in my room at this very moment

ginger.ale[x]: I AM AT WORK JOHN

john.looksie: AnD I WONDER WHO ISNTTT

lyaf: American Idol is on

Herc aderp: AHAHAHAAA

john.looksie: LaF

Herc aderp: SORRY JOHN I WOULD IF I WAS THERE

ginger.ale[x]: Heaven help me

john.looksie: I will storm over there and cause terror

lyaf: Someone is needy

Herc aderp: FUCKIN WHEEZING RN

lyaf: BRB Mon amours John has found me

ginger.ale[x]: YALL ARE CRAZY HAVE FUN WITH YOUR WILD SEX


	25. Chapter 25

_ginger.ale[x] has started a chat with Trickster.Pegs, IamLighterfluid, cosplay.goddess, angelcake_ _._

ginger.ale[x]: Okay ladies we need to stick together

ginger.ale[x]: Unite and fight

ginger.ale[x]: Work our corners with fury

IamLighterfluid: Are you trying to be our pimp

cosplay.goddess: ARE YOU. T RY I NGG TO BE OUR P I M P

ginger.ale[x]: NO

ginger.ale[x]: MAYBE

ginger.ale[x]: WHAT IF I SAID YES

angelcake: I want a raise

ginger.ale[x]: You're fired

angelcake: Damn

Trickster.Pegs: The fuck is goin on here

Trickster.Pegs: Alexander do you really just start chats and talk about weird stuff

ginger.ale[x]: The first time I chatted with Laf, I started a conversation about how cynical teddy bears are

cosplay.goddess: Trademark that

IamLighterfluid: I am not envious of how you see the world

ginger.ale[x]: THEYRE FUCKING EVIL

angelcake: ALEXANDER WHAT YA NEED HOE

ginger.ale[x]: FIRST OFF I AM THE PERSON TO YELL MS ANGELICA SCHUYLER

ginger.ale[x]: SECOND OFF IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU BY YOUR FULL NAME

ginger.ale[x]: THIRD OFF I NEED HELP

angelcake: No kidding

cosplay.goddess: HA

ginger.ale[x]: 100000000% READY TO FIGHT

Trickster.Pegs: The munchkin man yells

ginger.ale[x]: ILL FIGHT YOU TOO PEGS

Trickster.Pegs: He roars while shaking his fists

cosplay.goddess: YALL ALWAYS BAGGIN ON ALEX WHAT YA NEED HELP WITH DOLL

ginger.ale[x]: Yall need to make Burr come to the party as royalty

angelcake: Scuse me

Trickster.Pegs: Am I missing something

ginger.ale[x]: HE NEEDS TO COME AS EITHER A PRINCE OR A PRINCESS I DONT CARE JUST BRING HIM OVER AS THAT

cosplay.goddess: !!!!!|!\\! HEKSHSSKS

cosplay.goddess: BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING AS A DRAGON???

ginger.ale[x]: YES

cosplay.goddess: !!!\\!\\!\\!\\!\\!!!!!!!!

cosplay.goddess: I AM ON BOARD

cosplay.goddess: Ya'll Imma post this party shit on facebook hot diggity damn

ginger.ale[x]: HECK YEAH

IamLighterfluid: I love you peggy

Trickster.Pegs: I LOVE YOU TOO

angelcake: The fuck why dont I get LOVE HUH

IamLighterfluid: Did you send me cookies

angelcake: PEGGY WHAT THE FUCK

Trickster.Pegs: MAN I ATE YOURS

Trickster.Pegs: ITS FOR THE GREATER GOOD DUDE

angelcake: ILL PULL A FROZONE ON YOUR ASS

cosplay.goddess: SCREAMMING I AM THE GREATEST GOOD YOURE EVER GONNA GET OM  G G G 

ginger.ale[x]: THIS IS SO OBSURD YALL ARE FUCKING HILARIOUS

 

 

 

a.burr: I got it I can be waldo

matty: Why the heck would you want to be waldo

a.burr: Because if I leave early they'll just think I'm in character

Jon.BallIsLife: Are you that introverted

a.burr: No but if Thomas and Alexander dish it out I'm not sticking around

a.burr: Maybe I'll just hide with Hercules or Madison

a.burr: They're pretty friendly to each other

matty: Dandy

Jon.BallIsLife: Wait, back to the costume thing, where will you even find what you need in that short of time?

a.burr: Oh... shoot, that's right...

matty: Maybe you can dye your hair and pretend to be someone else

a.burr: ...

a.burr: U think ur so funny...

matty: I got a laugh outta it

Jon.BallIsLife: Honestly that was a little funny

a.burr has left the chat.

 

 

 

_cosplay.goddess has started a chat with a.burr, IamLighterfluid, angelcake, Trickster.Pegs._

a.burr: Oh, wow, nice timing

IamLighterfluid: How so?

a.burr: My friends are toxic, I had to escape their abusive natures

angelcake: What'd they do make fun of your clothes

a.burr: They told me to dye my hair

cosplay.goddess: AHAAHAAAA

angelcake: TOXICCC

a.burr: Yes, it's a hoot, the owls are chattering in delight

a.burr: What am I here for

IamLighterfluid: THE OWLS ARE CHATTERING IN DELIGHT OMG IM SO USING THAT

cosplay.goddess: Burr we were like talking about costumes and we wanted to know what you'd be

a.burr: Why

cosplay.goddess: Because

cosplay.goddess: Because I don't want people going as the same thing so I need to know

angelcake: Yeah host rules

a.burr: Well I haven't decided anything, apologies

IamLighterfluid: You haven't?

a.burr: Not even a clue

Trickster.Pegs: GO AS A PRINCE

 

 

 

angelcake: Jesus fucking christ Peggy we're trying to be smooth

Trickster.Pegs: Oh I'm sorry did I not wax the floor enough

IamLighterfluid: TOXIC OMF

cosplay.goddess: LMMAAOOOOOOO 

 

 

 

a.burr: A prince?

angelcake: Yeah totally!

cosplay.goddess: I EVEN HAVE A CROWN YOU CAN WEAR AND THIS SICK RED ROBE WITH WHITE RIMMING

a.burr: I kind of like the sound of that

IamLighterfluid: YES MY ROYALTY TWIN

Trickster.Pegs: HELL YEAAHHH


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay one last tease chapter next chapter is the party

_ginger.ale[x] has started a chat with angelcake, lyaf, G.Washington, R.Mont, Herc aderp, john.looksie, Jon.BallIsLife, matty, cosplay.goddess, J.MadIsOn, Trickster.Pegs, IamLighterfluid, ManoftheTV._

john.looksie: HiI DAD

G.Washington: Are we going to do this everytime, John?

john.looksie: Yes

ManoftheTV: Wait a second did you seriously just add me to a chat, Hamilton?

ginger.ale[x]: SHUT UP

ginger.ale[x] has sent a video!

ginger.ale[x] has sent a video!

ginger.ale[x]: WATCH THE FIRST VIDEO THAN THE SECOND ONE BEFORE YOU COMMENT

R.Mont: MY GOOD OL BOY IS GROWING UP

IamLighterfluid: WHY IS HE SO GOOD AT SINGING

matty: Aaron is going to kill you if he finds out about this

ManoftheTV: I actually feel in debt to you, Hamilton

john.looksie: He'S SINGING GAMBLING MAN WHAT THE FUCK ITS SO JAZZY HOW

lyaf: OUI OUI <3

R.Mont: <\- IS PROUD

Jon.BallIsLife: Hm

ginger.ale[x]: Is that a good Hm, Mama pigeon

Jon.BallIsLife: Is it?

ginger.ale[x]: God I hoPE SO

cosplay.goddess: WHAT THE FUCK HOW IS AARON SO GOOD AT HITTING THAT HIGH NOTE

angelcake: I'm just jealous of his god damn DANCE MOVES

angelcake: HE IS DANCING WHILE MAKING COFFEE THIS IS BULL

G.Washington: I might bring this up to him when he comes to me

ginger.ale[x]: DONT SELL ME OUT

ginger.ale[x]: DICK MOVE MR. PRESIDENT

ginger.ale[x]: I SAY AS RESPECTFULLY AS POSSIBLE

R.Mont: Major dick move, Mr. President

R.Mont: Do it anyway

G.Washington: I like this man

ginger.ale[x]: I WILL DISOWN YOU AS A FATHER

john.looksie: ScREAAAMMMIINNGGGGG

lyaf: IS THAT COFFEE FOR YOU, SIR?

G.Washington: God I hope so

G.Washington: Served with jazz

Jon.BallIsLife: I am slowly being shown a whole new world I am unprepared for that includes the president wanting coffee served with jazz

matty: This is the most dandy thing that's ever happened to us

lyaf: Dandy

Herc aderp: GOD DAMMIT LYAF

Jon.BallIsLife: Repent

cosplay.goddess: I AM HONESTLY SO HAPPY AARON MOVED DOWN HERE BECAUSE IF HE DIDNT WE WOULDNT BE HAVING THESE CONVERSATIONS

matty: SPEAK FOR YOURSELF I WANT AARON BACK

Jon.BallIsLife: I could live without Alexander Hamilton

ginger.ale[x]: So I'll just pretend I'm not getting dragged

lyaf: Good choice I don't want to fight Mama Pigeon

Jon.BallIsLife: I wouldn't fight you anyway

Jon.BallIsLife: Man of the lord

matty: BULL

ManoftheTV: The fuck you cant just remix my name

Jon.BallIsLife: I see no beast with horns, Matthias

matty: THIS MAN OVER HERE THREW A BIBLE AT ME YESTERDAY

Herc aderp: AHAHAHAAA

Jon.BallIsLife: You said if you were wrong, God strike you dead

Jon.BallIsLife: I just quickened the pace

R.Mont: JONATHAN

R.Mont: Good Job

G.Washington: I feel at home

R.Mont: You're in your office if that isn't your home what is

G.Washington: I am increasingly liking this man

Herc aderp: Dear god we introduced Momdad and Fatherton and now we have made a monster of parenthood

ginger.ale[x]: I'm fine with that mONTY BE MY DADMOM

R.Mont: You're too much of a little shit

ginger.ale[x]: THE FUCK AARON LIT A PRINTER OF FIRE AT 15 I WAS WRITING ESSAYS

G.Washington: Wait a second he did what

angelcake: WHAT THE HELL KIND OF GOD IS AARON BURR

Herc aderp: God of fire

lyaf: God of sexy B)

john.looksie: MaMA PIGEON AND MATTY B ARE RIGHT THERE LYAF

ManoftheTV: A God of prosperity

ManoftheTV: That coffee was for you and I, Alexander

ginger.ale[x]: Fuck yeah

ginger.ale[x]: Wait a fucking second why do you deserve coffee all you do is SIT ON YOUR ASS

ManoftheTV: I'm sorry that you're unable to sit on yours, maybe ask your boyfriends to be less rough next time

ManoftheTV: ( ¬ ◡ ¬ )

G.Washington has left the chat.

R.Mont: MY OLD HEART CANT TAKE THIS

matty: OH

ginger.ale[x]: I WILL STR8 UP FIGHT YOU RIGHT NOW

lyaf: I have talked it over with Herc and we decline being less rough

Herc aderp: 100%

IamLighterfluid: OH MY G O O O D

cosplay.goddess: FUCKING AHAKSBSSKS 

cosplay.goddess: AHHH THOMAS IS SO FUCKING METAL

ginger.ale[x]: DONT FUCKING ENCOURAGE HIM

ManoftheTV: ( ʘ ツ ʘ )

ginger.ale[x]: God I hate you

ginger.ale[x]: WAIT A SECOND

ginger.ale[x]: Monty 

R.Mont: Yes?

ginger.ale[x]: Did you know

ginger.ale[x]: That ManoftheTV

matty: Oh god

ginger.ale[x]: Is Thomas Jefferson

Jon.BallIsLife: Fuck

R.Mont: IS THAT FUCKING SO

ManoftheTV: ( ꗞ ∀ ꗞ ) ???

R.Mont: Mr. Secretary of State

ManoftheTV: james (ꗞ - ꗞ'')

J.MadIsOn has left the chat.

angelcake: Oh my god

cosplay.goddess: He just fucking left him for the vultures

matty has left the chat.

Jon.BallIsLife has left the chat.

R.Mont: I have a few things to say to YOU

ManoftheTV: ("ꗞ _ ꗞ")

 

 

 

lyaf: Cold hearted and evil

lyaf: This is why we love you

ginger.ale[x]: B)


	27. Chapter 27

ginger.ale[x]: YO THIS PARTY IS GONNA BE KICKING

john.looksie: I KNOW IM SO EXCITED LAF IS GOING SHIRTLESS

lyaf: And I can say the hickies aren't fake

john.looksie: B^)

ginger.ale[x]: Nasty

Herc aderp: Yall gross

lyaf: "Yall" are afraid of the truth

john.looksie: No we aint

ginger.ale[x]: Babies come from cabbage

Herc aderp: OMG ALEX JOHN IS HERE

ginger.ale[x]: AFRAID

john.looksie: BaBIES COME FROM WHAT

ginger.ale[x]: OF

Herc aderp: NOTHING THEY COME FROM SEX

ginger.ale[x]: THE TRUTH

lyaf: HUEHUEHUEE

ginger.ale[x]: CABBAGES JOHN MY BOY

Herc aderp: Guys

Herc aderp: Cabbage patch kids

ginger.ale[x]: CABBAGES

john.looksie: LaF IS THIS TRUE

lyaf: Oui oui

ginger.ale[x]: YOURE OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW THE TRUTH SON

Herc aderp: I DID NOT APPROVE OF THIS ADULTHODO

Herc aderp: Hodo

john.looksie: Phil strikes the fuck again

ginger.ale[x]: FUCK OFF PHIL

lyaf: FUCK OFF PHIL

Herc aderp: ILL FOCKIN FIGHT YOU PHIL

john.looksie: AnGRILY CRAB DANCE AROUND HIM

Herc aderp: '¯\\_( ò ᨎ ó )_/¯' !!!

ginger.ale[x]: WATER GOAT PRANCES AHH

ginger.ale[x]: Hey do you think Aaron is a Capricorn like me??

Herc aderp: N oway he's a Taurus like me

lyaf: Mon Amours you're wrong

lyaf: He's a Gemini

ginger.ale[x]: Laf you're not Gemini ur a Sagittarius

lyaf: But Gemini

john.looksie: When is Aaron's birthday

Herc aderp: LETS ASK

ginger.ale[x]: HERC NO

Herc aderp has added a.burr into the chat!

a.burr: Oh hey guys

ginger.ale[x]: HI AARON

lyaf: Read up

a.burr: HI ALEX

a.burr: Oh? I'm unfamiliar with those.

a.burr: Also, Who's phil?

john.looksie: Autocorrect

ginger.ale[x]: When's your birthday

a.burr: I mean, it's a while from now

a.burr: It's in December

lyaf: ,,, Mon amour are you hiding your birthday from us

a.burr: Of course not

Herc aderp: HE THE FUCK IS

a.burr: I heavily deny that

john.looksie: ThAN WHAT IS IT BURR HMMM

a.burr: Then

john.looksie: I'll storm to your apartment and pin you down right now

a.burr: You don't know my address

ginger.ale[x]: B) Don't we?

a.burr: ... Do you...?

ginger.ale[x]: Washington is easily persuade

lyaf: Fatherton is easy

Herc aderp: George sold you out

john.looksie: >:3 so?

a.burr: If George was willing enough to give you my home address, he must be able to be swayed for a price to give out my birthday. Isn't that right?

ginger.ale[x]: ,,,

ginger.ale[x]: Don't you dare use my own lawyer game on me

a.burr: Therefor if you haven't already thought up the idea of just asking him my birthday,

a.burr: (which I highly doubt probable because of how smart you are, Alexander)

a.burr: you haven't thought up asking him my address.

a.burr: The Ace of Spades card game is my speciality, I'm prepared to lay them down

ginger.ale[x]: i

lyaf: Did he

john.looksie: Holy shit he lawyered us

Herc aderp: Holy shit he lawyered our LAWYER BOYFRIEND

a.burr: wait boyfriend

ginger.ale[x]: Oh shit we didnt tell you did we

Herc aderp: WE ARE THE FOUR GAY HORSEMEN 

a.burr: Wh

john.looksie: AhH I LOVE THAT MOVIE

lyaf: IM JESSE EISENBURG

ginger.ale[x]: FUCK NO I AM

a.burr: i

ginger.ale[x]: YOU CAN BE JACK

lyaf: NO

john.looksie: well we all know I'm the mistress so B)

Herc aderp: She left in the second movie

john.looksie: WhAT

a.burr: I need to be brought up to date with everything

ginger.ale[x]: AS I AM THE BEST STORY TELLER

ginger.ale[x]: I SHALL SPEAK FIRST

Herc aderp: Dandy

john.looksie: Dontyoustart

lyaf: Repent

john.looksie: LyAF

ginger.ale[x]: JOHN AND I MET IN HIGH SCHOOL AND WE'VE BEEN DATING EVER SINCE SOPHMORE YEAR

ginger.ale[x]: LAFAYETTE CAME INTO THE PICTURE AROUND OUR FRESHMEN COLLEGE YEAR AND JOHN AND I BOTH REALLY LIKED HIM SO WE DECIDED TO MAKE AN EXCLUSIVE RELATIONSHIP INSTEAD OF AN OPEN ONE WITH THE THREE OF US BC WE ARENT COMFORTABLE WITH SHARING WITH ANYONE OUTSIDE OF OUR LOVE BED

a.burr: Love bed

ginger.ale[x]: BUT THAN HERC CAME IN AND BOY HOWDY IS HE FUCKING HOT SO WE DRAGGED HIM IN TOO

Herc aderp: I got nice abs 

john.looksie: He's got really fucking nice abs

lyaf: Mmmm...

a.burr: Repent

ginger.ale[x]: AND THATS HOW WE ALL BECAME THE BEST POLY GANG IN NEW YORK

a.burr: So, you're all dating each other?

ginger.ale[x]: Heck yeah

lyaf: Oui, Oui

Herc aderp: Fuck yes

john.looksie: B)

a.burr: What's an open relationship? I've never heard of that

ginger.ale[x]: OH MY GOSH I GET TO TEACH SOMEONE ABOUT OPEN RELATIONSHIPS AHHH

john.looksie: I CAN HEAR YOU SCREAMING FROM THE KITCHEN

lyaf: CALM DOWN LAST TIME YOU DID THAT OUR NEIGHBORS CALLED

ginger.ale[x]: OKAY BURR YOU READY

a.burr: Yes, I have my lemonade and grilled cheese

a.burr: Tell me what you know

ginger.ale[x]: BREATHEs

ginger.ale[x]: An open relationship is a type of relationship where two or more people want to be together, but agree to a form of a non-monogamous relationship yk

ginger.ale[x]: That means that they are fine with their partner forming an intimate or romantic relationship with other people as well as with them

ginger.ale[x]: Kinda like dating more than one person at once with consensual permission

a.burr: Wow

ginger.ale[x]: Is that a good wow or a bad one

john.looksie: It was a Fuck-He-Sent-That-In-The-Same-Second-Wow

a.burr: That's an interested wow

a.burr: (little bit of that too)

john.looksie: HA

a.burr: I wasn't aware of that being a thing

a.burr: That sounds... rather intriguing

Herc aderp: HEY NOW THAT WERE ON THIS TOPIC YOU HAVENT DATED MAMA PIGEON OR MATTY B ARE YOU

a.burr: Aaron Burr dies of being interrogated about dating the most idiotic men in the Earth, stay tuned.

lyaf: Herc what is, what you americans call, GRAMMAR

ginger.ale[x]: Aaron why do you slICE YOUR FRIENDS

Herc aderp: YALL WANNA BAG ON ENGLISH GRAMMAR

Herc aderp: FINE

Herc aderp: BUT I WILL NOT BE SALTED ON MY OWN DAMN BREAD DOUGH DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME LYAF

john.looksie: M y oWN BR E AD DO U GH

john.looksie: BuRR YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE THEY'RE NOT AN OPTION

a.burr: I MET THEM WHEN I WAS 15, THEY'RE LIKE BROTHERS TO ME

a.burr: IM NOT DATING MY BROTHERS

ginger.ale[x]: Incest

lyaf: Is wincest

Herc aderp: IS IT LAF

john.looksie: DeAR GOD NO

a.burr: REPENT

lyaf: Hue

Herc aderp: IGHT IF YOU HAVENT TRIED FOR THOSE TWO

a.burr: Gross

Herc aderp: WHO HAVE YOU TRIED FOR

a.burr: Is this interrogate Aaron hour, I feel like I'm not the only one being attacked

a.burr: Oh wait I am

john.looksie: You thnk ur so sasy

a.burr: i knw im su sasy

lyaf: Aaron is ready to fight and honestly that's all i want in a marriage

ginger.ale[x]: THIS ^^^^^

Herc aderp: Kinky mmm

john.looksie: CmOONN AARON ILL GIVE YOU A LIST OF MY OLD FUCKS IF YOU TELL ME YOURS

a.burr: Well let's hear your list first

john.looksie: IgHT THERE WAS JJ, LOGAN, TIFFANY BUT SHE WAS JUST AN EXPERIMENT, KYLE AND MARK

lyaf: Mark...

Herc aderp: What is significant about that name lyaf

lyaf: Nothing it's fun to say

lyaf: markk

john.looksie: YOUR TURN BURR

a.burr: Okay, I'll send you a list

a.burr: 1.

ginger.ale[x]: ,,, wait a second

lyaf: MON AMOUR NO

Herc aderp: AHHH BURR YOU'RE KIDDING WITH THAT FUCKING FACE

a.burr: Oh i'm not saying I haven't gotten offers

john.looksie: BrO YOU'RE SO-

john.looksie: CmON NOT ONE??

a.burr: Nope

a.burr: Work came first

ginger.ale[x]: What about second

a.burr: Myself

ginger.ale[x]: ,,,, third ,,,,

a.burr: I guess Jon n Matty n Monty

Herc aderp: YOU GU E S S 

john.looksie: E VOO O L

Herc aderp: HEY SPEAKING OF WHAT ARE THOSE DORKS DOING

a.burr: Jon and Matty are making me send them pictures of my costume

a.burr: Dunno about Monty

ginger.ale[x]: OOOOOAH,

john.looksie: WhICH IS?

a.burr: a Prince

ginger.ale[x]: OOOOOOOOOO B)

Herc aderp: AARON CAN YOU MERMAID DANCE

a.burr: O

a.burr: I've never tried mermaid dancing

ginger.ale[x]: What the fuck have you tried

Herc aderp: Tonight we mermaid dance

a.burr: It's a date

lyaf: I WANT TO MERMAID DANCE TOO

ginger.ale[x]: YEAH WTH YOU CANT JUST GO ON A MERMAID DANCE DATE WITH HERC

Herc aderp: YALL ARE JUST JEALOUS

john.looksie: AaRON I WANT TO DO THE DATE TOO

a.burr: Okay first, Go to your google calendar

ginger.ale[x]: This is bull

john.looksie: Okay I'm at the calendar literally every day i have is free so

a.burr: There's your dates

Herc aderp: ,,,

lyaf: ... Wait a second

john.looksie: RuDE AS FUCK

ginger.ale[x]: AHAHAHAHAAAA

 

 

 

a.burr: Okay back

matty: What happened

matty: Nevermind John told me

matty: Stone cold, Aaron

Jon.BallIsLife: What'd he do?

a.burr: John asked me for a date, so, I told him to look at his google calendar.

Jon.BallIsLife: You make me so proud.

matty: You have a weird flirting system

a.burr: I learned it from Jonathan

Jon.BallIsLife: I don't flirt...

a.burr: .

a.burr: Oh

 

 

 

_cosplay.goddess has started a chat with angelcake, IamLighterfluid, Trickster.Pegs, ginger.ale[x], Herc aderp, lyaf, john.looksie._

cosplay.goddess: Did I add all the hoes???

ginger.ale[x]: All the important ones

john.looksie: HaA

ginger.ale[x]: Wait where's Burr

cosplay.goddess has sent a photo with the caption: Here!

ginger.ale[x]: OH MY GOD HE LOOKS ABSOLUTELY A D O R A B L E

lyaf: I LOVE THE ANGLE AND THE LIGHTING

john.looksie: LoOK AT THE WAY HE'S SITTING ALL CRISS CROSS APPLE SAUCE AND FIDDLING WITH THE DAMN ROBE UGHHHHHHHH

angelcake: I LOVE HOW IN LOVE YALL ARE

ginger.ale[x]: THE CROWN ON HIS HEAD IS JUST BARELY HANGING ON THIS IS TOO MUCH

Herc aderp: I LOVE THE BLUE LACE UP SHIRT HE'S WEARING WHERE THE HELL

Herc aderp: I am kidnapping Aaron

Herc aderp: He's gonna be mine soon

cosplay.goddess: Aaron says thanks

cosplay.goddess: HES HIDING HIS FACE IN HIS ROBE BC HE THINKS ITS SOFT

angelcake has sent a photo with the caption: MY BOO AND YOUR BOO

ginger.ale[x]: OH MY GOD MARIA YOU LOOK SO FUCKING BOMB

Herc aderp: THE FUCK

cosplay.goddess: AHH THANK YOU SO MUCH

john.looksie: Why is Aaron there so early?

cosplay.goddess: He helped us set everything up and fucking brouGHT ME FLOWERS FOR THAT VASE AAHHH

angelcake: HE BROUGHT COLOURFUL ROSES THAT MATCHES THE BLUE OCEAN OF THE VASE LIKE??? AARON IS SO SWEET HOW

cosplay.goddess: YALL IF ANY OF YOU MISTREAT AARON ILL KICK YOUR DONKEY KONG ASS BACK TO THE JUNGLE

john.looksie: I gIVE YOU FULL PERMISSION TO

angelcake: okay so not like I'm yk being a stalker or anything

cosplay.goddess: Angel why do you have Aaron's phone

angelcake: I said I'd put it on the charger

angelcake: and guess who doesnt lock their phone

angelcake: THAT MAN

angelcake: SHOULD I SHOULD I

ginger.ale[x]: YES

IamLighterfluid: omG

lyaf: NO

Herc aderp: YESSSS

john.looksie: GoO

Trickster.Pegs: YALL ARE BLOWIN UP MY PHONE I AM ON A DATE

Trickster.Pegs: OH MY GOD YES GO ON HIS PHONE

IamLighterfluid: WHO THE HELL IS DATING YOU

Trickster.Pegs: NONE OF YOUR DIDDLY DANG BUSINESS

angelcake: AHH I FOUND HIS CHAT WITH JON AND MATTY

angelcake: Js it's a fucking sass machine in here

ginger.ale[x]: Screenshots

ginger.ale[x]: Screenshots

ginger.ale[x]: Screenshots

angelcake: wait lemme send them to myself and than i'll delete it off of his phone

lyaf: THIS IS INVASION OF PRIVACY

lyaf: All ya'll gonna go to hell

Herc aderp: and yet you dont warn him

lyaf: ANGELICA HAS HIS PHONE WHAT AM I GONNA DO HERC

Herc aderp: SEND AN OWL

angelcake: FOUND HIS CHAT WITH THOMAS

angelcake: He's good at hiding these

john.looksie: How the hell do you even hide these

lyaf: There's folders with branches and even more branches

angelcake: I had to go through seven to find ya'll

angelcake: Jon n matty are in a folder named New Jerksey Friends

ginger.ale[x]: omfGGGG

IamLighterfluid: THATS SO CUTE AND MEAN

angelcake: Aaron is such a MEME

lyaf: Wait a second what's our folder

angelcake: Plaid shirt with striped sleeves

Herc aderp: IS HE CALLING US UNFASHIONABLE

ginger.ale[x]: I WONDER WHERE HE GOT THAT IDEA

john.looksie: DoNT YOU DARE

lyaf: JOOHNNNNN

john.looksie: BuLL

angelcake: AAWWW HE NAMED JEFFERSON AND MADISON'S FOLDER "FLOOFY HAIR DONT CARE"

ginger.ale[x]: MNOT SMAD

 

 

 

_angelcake has started a chat with cosplay.goddess!_

**Chat has been upgraded to WHITE ROOM by angelcake, code is 2231.**

cosplay.goddess: Holy crap what the heck is white room

angelcake: It doesn't show up without a password aka the code

cosplay.goddess: WHY DO WE NEED THIS ARE WE GONNA TALK SHIT

angelcake: When I went through Aaron's phone I may have accidently

angelcake: Found something out and uh

angelcake: I feel bad but I think it's good I found out first

cosplay.goddess: What???

cosplay.goddess: Babe wth are you talking about

angelcake: You aren't drinking anything?

cosplay.goddess: Water

angelcake: Put it down

cosplay.goddess: K

angelcake: Aaron is trans

cosplay.goddess: AW THATS SO AWESOME FUCKING GOOD FOR HIM

cosplay.goddess: Wait a second

cosplay.goddess: HOW DID YOU...???

angelcake: I DID SOME MAJOR SNOOPING ON HIS AND JON N MATTY'S CHAT AFTER I READ AARON ADMITTING TO FLIRTING WITH THEM SO

cosplay.goddess: WITH TH EM?? WHOS THEM

angelcake: ALEXANDER HERC LYAF JOHN THOSE DORKS

angelcake: OH MY GOD I GAVE AWAY ANOTHER SECRET

cosplay.goddess: AHHHHHH THIS IS SUCH GOOD NEWS TBH LIKE MY WHOLE WORLD IS SPINNING THIS IS AMAZING

cosplay.goddess: THIS IS FUCKING

cosplay.goddess: ANYTHING MORE

angelcake: HE DOESNT KNOW HOW THE FUCK TO DO ORAL SEX I GUESS I MEAN I DUNNO IF THAT WAS A JOKE BUT

angelcake: ALSO JON IS A MAJOR MOM

angelcake: MATTY IS KINDA LIKE THAT COOL OLDER BROTHER AND MONTY IS TOTES AN AWESOME DAD

angelcake: AARON HAS THE WHOLE FUCKING PACKAGE WITH FAMILY

cosplay.goddess: Wait a second did you send those screenshots yet

angelcake: SHIT

 

 

 

angelcake: YO HERE YO SCREENSHOTS

angelcake has sent a photo!

angelcake has sent a photo!

angelcake has sent a photo!

angelcake has sent a photo!

lyaf: He was going to be Waldo and they shot him down

ginger.ale[x]: WHAKSHALSBS WHY WONT HE STAY TO WATCH ME PUNCH THOMAS WTH

ginger.ale[x]: THATS LIKE KEY

john.looksie: Hey wait a second

john.looksie: AlEXANDER

ginger.ale[x]: WHAT

john.looksie: ReAD THE SECOND PHOTO ON THE VERY TOP

Herc aderp: O

lyaf: O

ginger.ale[x]: ,,,

ginger.ale[x]: Shit is that why Aaron asked what was wrong with having Thomas there

IamLighterfluid: THE POOR BABY INVITED HIS FRIENDS AND YOU DICK FUCKS BASHED IT

ginger.ale[x]: BUT HOW CAN YOU BE FRIENDS WITH TH O M A S???

ginger.ale[x]: HE'S SO FUCKING INFURIATING

Trickster.Pegs: Aaron is probably contemplating his escape rn because he knows something will go down

Herc aderp: I shall kidnap him

lyaf: Pet play

john.looksie: LyAF NO

john.looksie: ( ¬ ‿ ¬ )

ginger.ale[x]: ugH FUCK I HAVE TO BE NICE NOW

ginger.ale[x]: UUGHHHHHHH

angelcake: True love right there

cosplay.goddess: Tbh i'd do that for you angel

angelcake: not me

cosplay.goddess: BINCH

Herc aderp: YO HAS ANYONE ARRIVED TO THAT PARTY??

angelcake: YKW YES PEOPLE HAVE THERE'S LIKE TWELVE PEOPLE HERE RIGHT NOW NOT COUNTING MYSELF AARON AND MARIA

cosplay.goddess: Hey wait a fuck

john.looksie: wait a fuck

cosplay.goddess: Where's Aaron

 

 

 

a.burr: Okay I lied I want to go back I'll move in with Monty like we planned in College

matty: YES OMG ILL COME DOWN TO HELP YOU PACK

Jon.BallIsLife: You've made the right decision

a.burr: You jerkfaces you're suppose to tell me "No."

matty: But I want you to come back

a.burr: Gosh you guys are no help

Jon.BallIsLife: What're you doing now?

a.burr: Hiding

a.burr: What if Thomas comes and he starts something

a.burr: Or worst, what if Alexander comes and HE starts something with Thomas that ends up backtracking to me

a.burr: You can burn files but you can't burn memories and Thomas has a pretty good memory that is bound to include me inviting him

matty: "You can burn files but you can't burn memories"

a.burr: Lawyer speech you wouldn't understand

matty: SCUSE ME

Jon.BallIsLife: Heh

a.burr: Crap

Jon.BallIsLife: What

a.burr: So many people, Jesus, this is going to be a bother

a.burr: I have to say hello to every one of them and pretend I care

a.burr: If I wanted to do that I would have stayed at the office

a.burr: Don't tell George that

matty: Why would I even try to contact the president just to sell you out

Jon.BallIsLife: Monty and Washington have actually been talking lately so

Jon.BallIsLife: Watch for that

a.burr: Great, he'll probably tell Washington every embarrassing thing I did

a.burr: But it all came with a price and a wonderful reward so

matty: Didn't you explode a lamp once?

a.burr: NOT ON PURPOSE

Jon.BallIsLife: I WORKED THERE WHEN YOU DID THAT

matty: It set the desk on fire didn't it?

a.burr: AAAND THAN MONTY FINALLY BOUGHT NEW DESKS

a.burr: Great rewards

a.burr: Maria found me

a.burr: Gotta go get yelled at for hiding in the backyard


	28. Chapter 28

cosplay.goddess: I FOUND HIM

ginger.ale[x]: WHERE WAS HE

cosplay.goddess: IN THE FRICKEN BACK YARD

angelcake: AARON LITERALLY JUST TOOK MY DRINK FROM MY HAND AND THAN GAVE IT BACK AFTER TAKING A SIP I STG

IamLighterfluid: FIGHT HIM ANGELICA

angelcake: ILL USE IT AGAINST HIM LATER TONIGHT WHEN WE DRAG OUT THE DUSTY KARAOKE MACHINE

lyaf: !!!!

Herc aderp: KARAOKE MA CH I N E

IamLighterfluid: HELLO

IamLighterfluid: GUYS WHAT HAPPENED

angelcake: THE BOYS JUST SLAMMED INTO THE HOUSE AFTER I SENT KARAOKE MACHINE AND ARE RAMPAGING OH MY GOD

ginger.ale[x]: WE ARE HERE AND WE'RE READY TO BE QUEER

john.looksie: I WAS ALWAYS READY TO BE QUEER

lyaf: I'm gonna go steal the punch bowl

cosplay.goddess: LAF I WILL USE YOUR ARMS AS DECORATION FOR HALLOWEEN IF YOU EVEN LIFT THE PUNCH BOWL

Trickster.Pegs: LMAAOOOO

Herc aderp: LY A F FUCKING LIFTED IT AND BOOKED IT

ginger.ale[x]: LAF NO THEY DONT HAVE PUNCH INSURANCE

angelcake: THE FUKC THIS PARTY ONLY HAS 30 PEOPLE AND ITS ALREADY FUCKING CRAZY 

angelcake: WHO THE FUCK BROUGHT THE MI N I. T RAM P OL INE S 

john.looksie: OoH MM YYY GG O O O ODDDD

cosplay.goddess: FIND OUT WHO DID IT SO I CAN KICK THEM OUT AND KEEP THEM

lyaf: ??? I just ???

Herc aderp: LYAF WHERE THE HECK IS THE PUNCH BOWL

lyaf: WISH I KNEW MAN

cosplay.goddess: H O WDO YOU LO S E A BO WL THE SIZE OF YOUR ARM

lyaf: I SET IT DOWN AND

lyaf: ITS GONE

cosplay.goddess: YALL IM GONNA GO MEGA MODE ON YOU

angelcake: ALEX WTH YOU DOING CONTROL YOUR SPORTSMAN BOYFRIEND

john.looksie: holy shit he's not beside me whERE DID ALEX GO

Herc aderp: JOHN SOMEONE HERE IS ZELDA

john.looksie: ZoOMS

cosplay.goddess: IM SCREAMING JOHN FUCKING LAURENS STOP BEING A PARKOUR MASTER

 

 

 

a.burr: IT'S BEEN A GOOD THIRTY MINUTES SINCE I LAST SPOKE TO YOU THE PARTY IS OUT OF CONTROL

matty: WHY ARE YOU CAPSING 

a.burr: Oh I didn't realize that

a.burr: Okay let's list off what's happened so far:

a.burr: 1. The punchbowl is on the roof.

a.burr: 2. People who have dressed up in similair ways or same fandoms have resorted to roleplaying

a.burr: 3. Someone brought mini trampolines and they're playing "The ground is lava" with them

a.burr: Is this normal

Jon.BallIsLife: punchbowl on the roof? Yeah

matty: Costume roleplaying? Yeah

Jon.BallIsLife: Trampoline one is new

matty: You aren't doing it are you

a.burr: Of course not

 

 

 

cosplay.goddess: A DOT BURR WAS POUNCING FROM TRAMPOLINE TO TRAMPOLINE WITH ALEX THIS IS ADORABLE

john.looksie: AhH I SEE THEM OMG

angelcake: YO THAT DRAGON COSTUME IS REALLY COOL I LIKE THE FACE PAINT

lyaf: Herc did it

Herc aderp: YEAAHHH

john.looksie: Oh

john.looksie: MyY

john.looksie: GgOOODDDDD

cosplay.goddess: YOU SAW IT TOO BELSBSKSSBJS!!!

angelcake: WOOOO GO FUCKING ALEXX

lyaf: WHAT HAPPENED

Herc aderp: AW MAN DID ALEX DO SOMETHING COOL AND I DIDNT SEE

IamLighterfluid: IM HEEERREE

IamLighterfluid: WHAT HAPPENED

cosplay.goddess: SCREECHING

cosplay.goddess: ALEX FUCKING KISSED BURR

lyaf: WHAT

angelcake: IT WAS JUSF

angelcake: AARON HOPPED OFF THE TRAMPOLINE AND ALEXANDER AND HIM SAID SOMETHING AND THAN ALEXANDER GRABBED HIS CHEEKS AND KISSED HIS NOSE

cosplay.goddess: BURR LOOKS SO DISCOMBOBULATED

john.looksie: HoLY COW THATS A BIG WORD 

Herc aderp: She made that word up

cosplay.goddess: I can tell ya'll have never watched the movie Bolt

lyaf: ALEXANDER CHECK YOUR PHONEEE

angelcake: BURR IS TRYING TO HIDE HIS FACE AND ALEXANDER IS TEASING HIM SO HARD RIGHT NOW

cosplay.goddess: WHAT THE FUCK DID THEY SAY TO EACH OTHHEERR

angelcake: BURR LEFT TO THE KITCHEN

angelcake: ALEX IS GETTING HIS PHONE

 

 

 

 

ginger.ale[x]: DID

ginger.ale[x]: YOU SEE

ginger.ale[x]: THAAAATTTTT

lyaf: MON AMOUR WHAT HAPPENED

Herc aderp: GOOD FUCKING JOB ALEX OMGOMG

john.looksie: FiST PUMPS

ginger.ale[x]: OKAY SO I WAS DOING WHAT WE PLANNED YK ROLEPLAY

ginger.ale[x]: AND BURR SAID "DRAGONS ARE SUPPOSE TO BE FIERCE" BECAUSE I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE SCREAMED WHEN I LANDED AWKWARDLY

ginger.ale[x]: SO I LOOKED BACK AT HIM AND HE'S STANDING BESIDE THE TRAMPOLINE IM ON AND I BRAVELY PUFF OUT MY CHEST LIKE THE BAD ASS I AM AND SAY "I AM FIERCE, JUST NOT IN THE WAY OTHERS ARE"

ginger.ale[x]: SO BURR GRINS AND ASKS ME WHAT I MEAN AND I JUST KINDA FELT LIKE THAT WAS THE PERFECT MOMENT AND I JUST HELD HIS FACE AND KISSED HIS NOSE AND BURR FUCKING MADE THIS NOISE OKAY

ginger.ale[x]: YALL I PRAY YOU THREE GET TO HEAR THAT NOISE ONE DAY BUT OH MY GOD IT WAS 

ginger.ale[x]: JUST TRUST ME IT WAS GREAT

ginger.ale[x]: AND NOW HE'S FLUSTERED AND LEFT TO GET WATER

lyaf: I can't believe you had enough courage to do that

john.looksie: I am so fucKING PROUD OF YOUUU

Herc aderp: CODE RED CODE RED

ginger.ale[x]: WHAT NO I JUST HAD SOMETHING GOOD HAPPEN CMON

Herc aderp: THOMAS AND MADISON ARE HERE

Herc aderp: Oh my god madisons costume is nO FUCKING FAIR UGH IMMA GO TALK TO HIM

john.looksie: He's a wet floor sign

Herc aderp: BOI HE HAS THE BEST COSTUME HERE

lyaf: Wow

lyaf: Wait a second is Thomas

ginger.ale[x]: Oh hell no

 

 

 

a.burr: I am done.

Jon.BallIsLife: What happened?

a.burr: I was

a.burr: Well okay so

a.burr: Alex just

matty: You're STUTTERING on a mobil device, Aaron

matty: WHAT HAPPENED

a.burr: Alex kissed my nose

Jon.BallIsLife: R

Jon.BallIsLife: E

a.burr: Now hold on before you tell me to drop on my knees and pray for forgiveness

Jon.BallIsLife: ...

matty: ...

Jon.BallIsLife: Repent

a.burr: I KNOW, HOW COULD I LET THAT HAPPEN THAT IS THE SINGLE MOST EMBARRASSING IVE HAD HAPPEN TO ME IN MY LIFE WHAT WAS I THINKING

a.burr: HE KISSED MY NOSE AND I CANT MAKE MY FACE STOP BEING SO HOT

matty: OKAY HOLD ON WHY DID HE KISS YOUR NOSE

a.burr: do you think he didn't want to kiss my lips?

matty: What no

Jon.BallIsLife: AARON WHY DID HE KISS YOU IN GENERAL

a.burr: OH THATS WHAT YOU MEANT

matty: You're becoming a teenager

a.burr: About time

Jon.BallIsLife: Aaron Burr

a.burr: SORRY

a.burr: We were joking around and Alexander made this highly unmasculine scream when he almost slipped off the trampoline, so I teased him lightly and said "Dragon's are suppose to be fierce" as a small reference to his costume, which is a dragon, obviously 

a.burr: And Alexander turns back to me and puffs out his chest dramatically, declaring that he was fierce, just not in the same way others were. I was curious as to what he meant, and I thought he would tell me something interesting about himself so I asked How.

a.burr: Then he reaches out with a triumphant grin on his face and pulls me forward to kiss my nose and I made this... embarrassing noise in the back of my throat...

a.burr: Ugh, the mere idea is making me cringe.

matty: I'm gonna fight Alexander

a.burr: WHy

matty: Well maybe not fight him I'll challenge him to chest

Jon.BallIsLife: I'll fucking fight him

a.burr: Jon no

Jon.BallIsLife: Aaron you know about relationships

a.burr: Wait

Jon.BallIsLife: They're confusing and especially contradicted by the romanticized version of a relationship on TV. It's especially hard when you should be focusing on work.

a.burr: but I'm not

Jon.BallIsLife: Worst of it is that if you decide to form a relationship it requires a long time of building and that's excessively tedious.

a.burr: JON

a.burr: Okay 1. Relationships are fine, I know how they work in real life and you're just scared I'll get hurt, i'll be fine

a.burr: 2. I am always focused on work and lots of people have found a safe mixture of work and a relationship

a.burr: 3. I am extremely patient, I'm willing to move as quickly or as slowly as anybody I partner with

a.burr: 4. STOP

matty: Number 4 is my favourite reason

Jon.BallIsLife: God, I wish we were there with you

a.burr: You'd be hissing at everybody close

matty: Jon would dress up as a cop

a.burr: Captain Jo(h)n Hart

Jon.BallIsLife: Nvm I'm glad you moved

matty: Kiss kiss

a.burr: bang bang

Jon.BallIsLife: Go on Aaron, you already did the kissing part

a.burr: BAKEBSK

matty: OH

a.burr: I'm gonna go tell Monty you told me to do the sex

Jon.BallIsLife: WILL HE BELIEVE YOU?

matty: I don't even believe it and I read it for my own eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooo party getting crazy >:^]


	29. Chapter 29

ManoftheTV: BURR IM HERE WHERE ARE YOU

a.burr: IN THE KITCHEN

a.burr: James did you actually

a.burr: Nevermind I see you two

J.MadIsOn: Heh

ManoftheTV: ᕙ( ✧ ³ ✧ )ᕗ

a.burr: STOP

 

 

 

ginger.ale[x]: NO NO NO NO

lyaf: IM ON MY WAY TO YOU THREE WHATS GOING ON

ginger.ale[x]: AARON IS WITH THOMAS AND MADISON AND HES CLEARLY NOT ENJOYING THE SITUATION AND THOMAS IS MAKING A FOOL OF HIMSELF

lyaf: JOHN

john.looksie: WhAT ALEX SAID

lyaf: HERC

Herc aderp: THOMAS IS POSING FOR AARON AND BEING A DORK AND AARON IS LAUGHING

Herc aderp: A LITTLE TOO FRIENDLY FOR OUR TASTES

john.looksie: hoLY FUCKING SHIT

Herc aderp: UGHHHHH

ginger.ale[x]: OH THATS IT ME AND MADISON ARE NO LONGER FRIENDS

lyaf: It sucks being the only person who isnt AROUND.

Herc aderp: LAF YOU NEED TO GET HERE FAST AND FLIRT THE SOCKS OFF OF BURR IGHT THIS IS RIDICULOUS

ginger.ale[x]: OH NO

ginger.ale[x]: BURR IS TAKING A FUCKING PICTURE WITH MADISON AND THOMAS

john.looksie: I mean we can just get a picture with him later

ginger.ale[x]: NO YOU FOOL THEIR DOING THE FUCKING

ginger.ale[x]:THE FUCKING THING

lyaf: Ah yes the fucking thing

lyaf: HAMILTON WHAT THING

ginger.ale[x]: I DID IT TO YOU GUYS ALL THE TIME WHEN WE TOOK PICTURES WE

ginger.ale[x]: NOOOO

Herc aderp: THOSE

ginger.ale[x]: FUCKING

Herc aderp: That was smart not gonna lie like i gotta bring that up next yatzee game

john.looksie: HeRCULES WTH

lyaf: WHAT. HAPPENED.

 

 

 

_cosplay.goddess has started a chat with angelcake and IamLighterfluid._

cosplay.goddess: OoOOH MY GOOODDDDD

angelcake: THOMAS AND MADISON ARE SO FUCKING SMOOTH AND ADORABLE

IamLighterfluid: THAT WAS THE CUTEST THING???

IamLighterfluid: BURR IS SO RED FACED RN

cosplay.goddess: I CANT BELIEVE THEY JUST TRICKED HIM LIKE THAT AND TOOK A PICTURE OF IT

angelcake: Tbh alex would do that too

IamLighterfluid: Do what?? Turn the head to kiss the cheek or take a sneaky photo?

angelcake: Turn the head to kiss the cheek while taking a photo with one of his bfs

angelcake: BUT AHH THOMAS AND MADISON DID IT AT THE SAME TIME AND BURR HAD NO FUCKING IDEA THATS ADO R ABLE

cosplay.goddess: EVEN THOMAS LOOKS A LITTLE FLUSTERED I CANT

cosplay.goddess: MADISON IS SO THE BRAINS BEHIND THIS I STG HE LOOKS SO COLLECTED WTH

IamLighterfluid: AHH LOOK AT THEMMM BURR IS TRYING TO HIDE HIS FACE

cosplay.goddess: thomAS JUST READJUSTED HIS CROWN AND IT SLID THE FUC K DOWN N LMAOOOO

cosplay.goddess: SORRY FAM THAT CROWN WAS MADE FOR SOMEONE WITH THICK HAIR TBHHHHH

angelcake: Ur hair is the thinnest thing istg

cosplay.goddess: SHHSH

 

 

 

ginger.ale[x]: I REFUSE TO LET THIS HAPPEN IN MY HOUSE

john.looksie: This is Angelica and Maria's house

lyaf: John speaks the truth

john.looksie: Hero of Time thats my name

john.looksie: Speaking the truth is my game

Herc aderp: Holy crap go on Hero of Rhyme 

Herc aderp: Bootsncats nbootsncats nboots ncats

ginger.ale[x]: YALL SUCK

lyaf: ALEX NO

Herc aderp: HOLY SHIT THERE HE GOES

john.looksie: AhH HE FUCKINNGGGGGGGG I CCAANNNTTTT

lyaf: ALEXANDER D O W N

 

 

 

cosplay.goddess: ALEX GOT BOPPED ON THE HEAD BY THOMAS AFTER APPEARING OUT OF NOWHERE I STGGGGG

angelcake: WHAT

IamLighterfluid: GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN THERE IS A REAL LIFE BATTLE OF KNIGHT AND DRAGON FOR A PRINCE OH MY GOD

cosplay.goddess: AHH THIS IS SO FUNNY IM CRYING

IamLighterfluid: OH MY GOD WHAT DO I DO???

angelcake: AHH ALEXANDER IS FUCKING FEROCIOUS

cosplay.goddess: AAH AARON IS CHATTING ME

IamLighterfluid: ADD HIM ADD HIM

angelcake: IM GOING TO BREAK THEM UP

IamLighterfluid: ILL HELP

_cosplay.goddess has added a.burr to the chat!_

cosplay.goddess: HEY STEWART

a.burr: WHAT THE FUCK

 

 

  

john.looksie: AnGELICA HAS ENTERED

Herc aderp: I LEFT TO HIDE IN THE BACK I CANNOT WITHSTAND TO SEE THE BLOOD SHED

lyaf: He left to get boned

lyaf: By me

Herc aderp: Lyaf cmon

Herc aderp: Secret

john.looksie: YaLL ARE GETTIN FUCKED WHILE ALEX IS LITERALLY HISSING AND SPITTING AT THOMAS

john.looksie: ThOMAS LOOKS SO CONFUSED AND DISTRESSED AHH

john.looksie has sent a photo!

Herc aderp: pfFFTTT HAHAHAHA HOLY SHIT

lyaf: WHAT IS ANGELICA HOLDING

john.looksie: ThE PLASTIC SWORD THOMAS BOPPED ALEXANDER ON THE HEAD WITH

lyaf: AHH

lyaf: GOD DAMMIT HERC WE GOTTA GO CALM HIM DOWN

Herc aderp: Okay but like in twenty???

lyaf: ////

lyaf: intwenty

john.looksie: WtH WHY DOES HERC GET THE INSTANT YEAH LETS FUCK BUT I GOTTA PIN YOU DOWN AND RIDE YOU TO TOKYO TOWN

Herc aderp: PFFFFFFFFTBSJSBSKSB

 

 

 

a.burr: I am DONE with this party

matty: What happen now

Jon.BallIsLife: ...?

a.burr: Thomas and Alexander just got into the hugest hissy fight I have ever witnessed by adult men

matty: //// full experience?

a.burr: I can tell you've been talking to John

Jon.BallIsLife: We all can

matty: Sh

matty: Let it happen

matty: Tell us

a.burr: Okay, well, I came up to meet with Thomas and Madison because that had just arrived. We're commenting on the costumes were wearing, and Madison had suggested taking a picture.

a.burr: Pictures are nice, I'm not camera shy.

Jon.BallIsLife: No you are not

matty: Remember that time Aaron photobombed the senior class picture for college?

Jon.BallIsLife: YES I DO

a.burr: Literally that was my legacy

matty: THEY EVEN HAD YOUR NAME LISTED

matty: Gasp

a.burr: No dont

matty: I just remembered the nickname

a.burr: I?? Literally?? Worked so hard??

Jon.BallIsLife: LITTLE BURR

matty: LITTLE BURR

a.burr: YKW YOU CAN CALL ME LITTLE BURR I DONT CARE

matty: Okay

matty: Little Burr

a.burr: hml

Jon.BallIsLife: Heh

a.burr: IGHT SO PICTURE

a.burr: Madison is to my left, Thomas to my right, and Thomas is holding the phone up sideways to take a picture of the three of us. I, dumbly, didn't expect anything from this and just gave a grin because this has so far been an awesome party

matty: Wait a second

a.burr: AND THEN THEY TURN THEIR HEAD AND KISS ME ON BOTH MY CHEEKS AN TAKE THE PICTURE

Jon.BallIsLife: I

matty: JON NO

Jon.BallIsLife has added R.Mont to the chat!

a.burr: JON WHAT THE FUDGE

R.Mont: EXCUSE ME WHAT DID I JUST READ?

a.burr: MONTY STAND DOWN IM NOT DONE

R.Mont: YES YOU ARE GO BLEACH YOUR CHEEK THAT THOMAS KISSED UGH 

a.burr: HOLD ON NOW

a.burr: PULL THE REIN IN

a.burr: ALEXANDER PRACTICALLY KICKED HIS ASS FOR YOU

R.Mont: Little shit has done good

R.Mont: I'm telling George to fire Thomas

a.burr: MONTY

R.Mont: He said he can't because Thomas still owes him 20$

Jon.BallIsLife: B(

matty: Js

a.burr: You guys are so MELODRAMATIC

a.burr: Alexander saw the whole thing and literally pounced on Thomas's back

R.Mont: Ah yes we're the Melodramatic one

Jon.BallIsLife: ^^^^^

a.burr: Luckily for me, Madison is fast and he quickly pulled me away

matty: Gotta go tasf

a.burr: Then Thomas whacked Alexander with this plastic sword he had

R.Mont: ... heh

Jon.BallIsLife: Dandy

a.burr: Literally the only person you guys are okay with is Madison and I think he would be enlightened to hear that

a.burr: Thomas and Alexander promptly got into a vocal fight to the death that included disses, sly comments about each others work, and thorn-sharp comments about their moms

R.Mont: About their moms

a.burr: Luckily for me I am ushered away by Madison and now we are just idly watching

a.burr: Angelica, the girl who co-hosts the party, is scolding both of the boys

a.burr: Thomas actually looks like he regrets some of it

R.Mont: He regrets getting caught

a.burr: Alexander not so much

Jon.BallIsLife: Mature

a.burr: Alexander is giving him the finger

Jon.BallIsLife: TURN YOUR HEAD AWAY AARON

a.burr: IM NOT TURNING MY HEAD AWAY

Jon.BallIsLife: THERE IS SIN

a.burr: JON YOU ARE A SIN

matty: OH

R.Mont: TURN UR DAMN HEAD AWAY BOI

matty: OOH

Jon.BallIsLife has added J.MadIsOn to the chat!

Jon.BallIsLife: TURN HIS HEAD AWAY IF YOU WANT BROWNIE POINTS

R.Mont: Honestly I'm willing to give brownie points to anyone who brings Aaron back home

matty: YALL JUST BROUGHT IN SOME RANDOM CIVILIAN

J.MadIsOn: His head is turned away

Jon.BallIsLife: +30

R.Mont: +25

matty: 55 brownie points holy cow

 

 

 

ginger.ale[x]: YALL IM SO PISSED AND YET I KNOW I COULDA HANDLED THAT BETTER

ginger.ale[x]: what did I miss

ginger.ale[x]: HERC N LAF GET OUTTA HERE IF YO GONNA GET BANGED

ginger.ale[x]: ME AND JOHN WILL BITCH IS SOLITUDE

lyaf: I mean I can still type

lyaf: B)

john.looksie: Js

ginger.ale[x]: JOHN I NEED SOMEONE TO CUDDLE WITH

john.looksie: Im IN THE LIVING ROOM ON THE GROUND

 

 

 

cosplay.goddess: AARON YOU JUST STOPPED REPLYING WHATS GOING ON

IamLighterfluid: Where is Aaron???

IamLighterfluid: Angelica?

angelcake: Sorry I sent Thomas away to be on the other side of the house from Alex

angelcake: AAWWW

angelcake has sent a photo!

angelcake: MADISON IS JUST STARING SO LOVINGLY INTO AARON'S EYES

cosplay.goddess: THAT IS BLASPHEMY WHY SO ADORABLE HOW

cosplay.goddess: LOOVVEE

IamLighterfluid: WAIT WHY 

angelcake: I DUNNO MADISON AND BURR WERE JUST HAVING THIS INTENSE EYE FUCKING AND IT BROKE AWAY WHEN THOMAS APPROACHED

cosplay.goddess: AAAARRROOONNNNNNNNNN

a.burr: WE WERE NOT EYE SEXING

angelcake: eY E S E X I NG 

IamLighterfluid: ISTGGG


	30. Chapter 30

a.burr: Back

a.burr: dicks

R.Mont: You're welcome

matty: What happened

a.burr: Nothing he turned my head away and wouldn't let me look back

a.burr: Thomas came around though and now we're just talking about how someone brought mini trampolines

a.burr: Which, by the way, are doubling in numbers

Jon.BallIsLife: Who in the world is bringing them

matty: Who cares

R.Mont: I'd probably be the one to bring them tbh

Jon.BallIsLife: Matty I will throw a bible at you

a.burr: You'd bring the Jello-Shots, Monty

a.burr: Also Jon that's not very saint-like

R.Mont: Boy howdy I would...

Jon.BallIsLife: Well gosh diddly darn I'm sure the Lord would forgive me

R.Mont: Would he

matty: No

a.burr: MONTY JON TOLD ME TO DO THE SEX

R.Mont: ABOUT DAMN TIME

matty: OH

a.burr: THE HELL YOU MEAN "ABOUT DAMN TIME"

R.Mont: YOU'RE 24 FUCKING GET RID OF THAT VIRGINITY

R.Mont: SHOULDA LOST IT WITH THAT CHARMING FELLOW WE MET IN THE CAFE

a.burr: OH MY GOD

a.burr: THAT WAS FIVE YEARS AGO

a.burr: HE WAS LIKE 32

R.Mont: YOU WERE LEGAL

a.burr: I AM?? SO DONE

matty: CANT BREATHE

R.Mont: YOU CAN ONLY FUCK PEOPLE I APPROVE 

R.Mont: WHICH IS NO ONE SO MOVE BACK DOWN HERE

a.burr: NO

Jon.BallIsLife: What about me

R.Mont: I approve of Jon as a first time

a.burr: ABSCONDS. ABS C O N DS . 

matty: SCREAMING RIGHT NOW

 

 

 

 

john.looksie has forwarded a photo from matty!

john.looksie: DaDMOM IS THE MOST FUCKING LIT PERSON ISTG

Herc aderp: YO U CAN O NLY FUCK PEO PLE  I AP PROV E

lyaf: HUEHUE

ginger.ale[x]: IM SCREAMING RN WHAT IS EVEN AARON'S LIFE

ginger.ale[x]: Wait a second he's a VIRGIN

ginger.ale[x]: B)

john.looksie: Im SCREAMING ALEX JUST LOOKED UP FROM HIS PHONE WITH THE BIGGEST SMIRK

lyaf: Pls if anybody is taking his virginity it's moi

Herc aderp: WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS I SCREAM

john.looksie: BuLL SHIT ITS ME

lyaf: JOHN EXPRESS TO ME HOW YOU PLAN TO DO THAT

john.looksie: Pin him down and ride him to tokyo town B)

lyaf: I screEAAMM

ginger.ale[x]: Listen

ginger.ale[x]: I saw him first

ginger.ale[x]: So I fuck him first

ginger.ale[x]: Xoxo

Herc aderp: Actually wasn't it Thomas and Madison that saw him first

ginger.ale[x]: ,,,

john.looksie: the realization's hitting

ginger.ale[x]: Fuck

lyaf: HUE

ginger.ale[x]: We need to step up our game guys like I'm not even playing anymore 

ginger.ale[x]: I really want him

ginger.ale[x]: Bad

ginger.ale[x]: Maybe at first it was just to piss off Thomas but honestly Aaron is fucking hilarious and he's really interesting

john.looksie: Y'know same

john.looksie: Maybe we just need to tell him that

lyaf: But what if we scare him off?

Herc aderp: WHATS THIS I SEE

lyaf: God dammit

Herc aderp: LAFAYETTE?? NERVOUS???

john.looksie: OuR LAFAYETTE

ginger.ale[x]: NAHH

lyaf: I WAS MAKING AN OBSERVATION

Herc aderp: YOURE ALL FLUSTERED AND ITS ADORABLE

lyaf: Hml

ginger.ale[x]: Yo we should just bring Aaron in and flirt his socks off

ginger.ale[x]: Literally I mean it lets all fuck

john.looksie: Let's all fuck - Alexander 2016

lyaf: Always down to fuck

Herc aderp: Always...

lyaf: GET YOUR HARRY POTTER ASS OUTTA HERE

john.looksie: LmMMAAOOOOO

ginger.ale[x]: LITERALLY THO WTH SNAPE WAS A GOOD MAN

Herc aderp: IM NOT EVEN MAD ABOUT SNAPE TBH BUT YKW I AM MAD ABOUT

lyaf: Grumbles

john.looksie: WhAT

Herc aderp: ILL NEVER KNOW FOR CERTAIN WHAT HOUSE IM IN

ginger.ale[x]: #Griffendor

john.looksie: Fucking?? Bullshit????

ginger.ale[x]: ARE YOU CALLING ME UNBRAVE

john.looksie: Im TELLING YOU YOUR AMBITIONS ARE A LOT HIGHER THAN YOUR BRAVORY

ginger.ale[x]: Shit fam you right

Herc aderp: Okay so you're a slytherin who asked to be in griffendor??

ginger.ale[x]: Hell yeah

john.looksie: Im A HUFFFLEPUFFF

Herc aderp: HELL YEAAHH

Herc aderp: I am a Griffendor by heart sorry lads

lyaf: True

lyaf: I'm a Ravenclaw ;)

ginger.ale[x]: Oh my god what would Burr be

john.looksie: Ask on a seperate chat

 

 

 

 

_ginger.ale[x] has started a chat with a.burr, john.looksie, Herc aderp, lyaf!_

ginger.ale[x]: Burr what house in harry potter would you be

a.burr: I'm fairly certain I'm a Slytherin, despite preferring to be a Ravenclaw

ginger.ale[x]: You'd prefer to be a ravenclaw over a slytherin

john.looksie: Literally only a ravenclaw would say that

Herc aderp: AHA

a.burr: THANKS.

ginger.ale[x]: ITS OUT OF LOVE

ginger.ale[x]: Aaron you should come hang out with us!!! Someone brought Jello shots

a.burr: I would, really, but I don't want to spontaneously ditch Thomas and James

Herc aderp: BRING THEM

john.looksie: HeRC

a.burr: No, that's fine I don't want to start anything again,

ginger.ale[x]: Nonono it's fine, bring them

ginger.ale[x]: I'll even talk to Thomas, kay?

a.burr: You shouldn't, seriously it's okay

ginger.ale[x]: Talkin' to Thomas

 

 

 

 

john.looksie: Alexander what are you doing

lyaf: MON AMI

ginger.ale[x]: LOOK U LIL SHITS I AM WINNING AARON OVER OKAY AND IF I HAVE TO BE CIVIL TO A PENIS POTATO

john.looksie: Penis potato... 

Herc aderp: !!!! DICTATOR

 

 

 

 

_ginger.ale[x] has started a chat with ManoftheTV._

ginger.ale[x]: Alright listen I forgive you for being a complete asshole and sissy boy, you forgive me for being right.

ginger.ale[x]: Ect ect

ManoftheTV: Wow, what a Hamilton thing to say. Where'd you steal that speech? Tumblr?

ginger.ale[x]: LISTEN IM NOT HERE TO START A FIGHT IGHT

ManoftheTV: Could have fooled me

ginger.ale[x]: LOOK

ginger.ale[x]: We'd like to hang out with Aaron

ginger.ale[x]: Aaron doesn't want to ditch you because you obviously got your ass kicked and he's sympathetic

ManoftheTV: Stunningly curious yet inaccurate observation of what had happened

ginger.ale[x]: Thomas I will stomp right back over there to KICK YOUR ASS

ManoftheTV: You want to form a peaceful treaty that only lasts this night, right?

ginger.ale[x]: Fucking

ginger.ale[x]: YEA

ManoftheTV: Okay, but put away the fucking gloves those spikes that are peaking out on the knuckles hurt like a bitch

ginger.ale[x]: Put down the damn sword

ManoftheTV: I'll give the sword to Madison how's that

ginger.ale[x]: Deal

ManoftheTV: Deal

 

 

 

 

 

ginger.ale[x]: THERE WE GO WE'RE GOOD LETS GO PARTY

Herc aderp: Wait really

a.burr: Thomas is leading to the kitchen, that's where the Jello shots are right?

john.looksie: BuRR DO JELLO SHOTS WITH ME

a.burr: SURE

john.looksie: HeLL YEAAH

 

 

 

 

 

_a.burr has started a chat with angelcake and cosplay.goddess._

cosplay.goddess: YO WATTUP STEWART ITS FUCKING LIT AINT IT

cosplay.goddess: ITS ALSO LIKE 2 AM AND THE PARTY HASNT STOPPED FUCKIG SCREAMING

a.burr: I am under no circumstances entitled to this request being answered to in a positive or timely manner, but I just played a good 30 minutes of beer pong, drank myself silly and are having this weird headache. Not in that order.

a.burr: Stewart really needs to lay down away from a crowd and adoring fans that is Madison and Jefferson, Hamilton, Lafayette, The john guy and greek demigod

cosplay.goddess: Oh shit course dude

angelcake: We have a guest bedroom upstairs, it's the third room to the right of the staircase

a.burr: Thank you so much

cosplay.goddess: STEWART I JUST HEARD YOU DRANK SEVEN CUPS OF FUCKING FIREBALL

cosplay.goddess: And you dont even drunk text how the fuck

angelcake: He is not a light weight

a.burr: No I am not

a.burr: Can one of you guys text Thomas or something where I'm going

a.burr: I lost him

angelcake: how do you lose someone who is like 6 foot 2

a.burr: I'm so dead

cosplay.goddess: Burr what the hell did you dO LMAO

a.burr: Drank nine cups of fireball

a.burr: did so much jello shots with john

a.burr: It's snot even my fault like  ??

a.burr: Jello shots???

a.burr: My fucking nutrients??? 

cosplay.goddess: You are so tipsy rn

a.burr: i suspt

a.burr: Jesus who put that trampoline there

angelcake: BURR DO YOU NEED HELP BABY

a.burr: I'M FINE

a.burr: I just need to lay down 

 

 

 

 

ginger.ale[x]: Just saw Aaron holding his head and walking upstairs should I be concerned I thought he was going off with Thomas

lyaf: I have no idea

lyaf: Is he not feeling well??

Herc aderp: Holy shit yall did you hear he drank like eight cups of fireball 

ginger.ale[x]: JESUS

ginger.ale[x]: Yeah no let him

ginger.ale[x]: Be

john.looksie: Thomas and Madison annoyed him so much

john.looksie: They drove him to drinking

Herc aderp: ^^^^!!

lyaf: Honestly, being around Thomas does drive you to drinking

Herc aderp: Okay but can we talk about how bomb Thomas is as fucking jello shots

Herc aderp: and can we talk about how someone brOUGHT JELLO SHOTS HOLY SHIT

john.looksie: GoTTA GO TASF

lyaf: JELLO SHOTS HECK YES

Herc aderp: MOM BE PROUD IM GETTING DRUNK OFF NUTRITIONAL FOOD

ginger.ale[x]: Is there like a secret party going on upstairs bc I just?? Saw someone else go up there??

ginger.ale[x]: Oh maybe that could just be

ginger.ale[x]: Now hold on a diddly darn second

john.looksie: What do you see

ginger.ale[x]: ALL

ginger.ale[x]: No but someone just walked up the stairs ?? Dont know who he is but he had nice hair

lyaf: Okay so what do ya'll prefer for hair

lyaf: Do you like the little swoop thing some boys have or just have it all down

Herc aderp: Shit fam thats a hard one

Herc aderp: The swoop thing is nice? It looks cool on a pretty face

Herc aderp: But boy howdy can men rock the all down hair

john.looksie: Thanks fam

Herc aderp: JOHN YOU HAVE THE BIGGEST BABY FACE OF THIS GROUP

john.looksie: BiTCH

 

 

 

 

a.burr: I don't know what's wrong

R.Mont: Go to sleep, they obviously won't mind

Jon.BallIsLife: You didn't set your cup down at any given point, did you??

a.burr: Yeah, I did, but I really dont think anybody put anything in my drink

matty: But you are really dizzy and hot, yeah?

a.burr: Also very tired

a.burr: I'm just barely moving my legs

a.burr: Oh thank God I found the room

Jon.BallIsLife: Good go lay down

Jon.BallIsLife: I'll check in with Madison to check in on you

a.burr: Great

a.burr: I'll try and che

matty: ,,,,?

R.Mont: Aaron?

Jon.BallIsLife: Aaron please dont do this again

matty: Maybe he passed out?

R.Mont: And... coincidentally hit the send button

Jon.BallIsLife: Aaron's phone is on a setting where if he doesn't hit the send button in twenty seconds it sends by itself

a.burr: hNkssbh

Jon.BallIsLife: Exhibit A ^^^

R.Mont: I wonder about that boy

 

 

 

 

_ginger.ale[x] has started a chat with cosplay.goddess, angelcake, john.looksie, lyaf, Herc aderp, J.MadIsOn, ManoftheTV._

ginger.ale[x]: Okay I'm not pointing fingers

ginger.ale[x]: BUT SOMEONE IN A CERTAIN LINK COSTUME DID ALL THE JELLO SHOTS.

john.looksie: I AM THE ONLY PERSON WEARING A LINK COSTUME YOU DICK

ginger.ale[x]: IF THE BOOT FITS

J.MadIsOn: Gosh darnit

J.MadIsOn: I didn't get to try one of those

john.looksie: I wasn't the only guy to eat all the jello shots k so let that be known

lyaf: heEERRCCC

Herc aderp: FUCK YOU I ONLY HAD THREE

lyaf: AT A TIIMEE

ManoftheTV: Yo has anyone seen Aaron

ManoftheTV: I lost him

cosplay.goddess: OOPS

angelcake: WTH MARIA YOU SAID YOU TOLD HIM

cosplay.goddess: AARON IS UPSTAIRS

ManoftheTV: ???

angelcake: WELL IT DOESNT WORK NOW

ManoftheTV: Pls

ginger.ale[x]: I saw him go upstairs holding his head

ginger.ale[x]: Someone followed him?? I thought it was you or Madison at first but than I saw how bomb his hair was 

angelcake: Wait a second someone followed him??

cosplay.goddess: The fuck?

J.MadIsOn: ... should one of us check on him?

angelcake: UH FUCK YEAH YOU SHOULD

cosplay.goddess: I'll go up there

ManoftheTV: I'll go too

ginger.ale[x]: SAME.

angelcake: I'm sure Aaron kicked the guy out or something he didn't text like he was full blown drunk

john.looksie: Yeah no I'm sure he's fine

Herc aderp: He had eight cups of fireball

angelcake: HE ACTUALLY HAD NINE

lyaf: JESUS

john.looksie: HOW THE HELL

J.MadIsOn: ... you guys heard that thump too right?

john.looksie: Holy cow that was loud

cosplay.goddess: ANGEL CALL 911

angelcake: ??! MARIA?

john.looksie: HOLY SHIT

 

 

 

 

john.looksie: AlEX WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED

ginger.ale[x]: THIS DUDE WAS ALL THE FUCK OVER AARON

ginger.ale[x]: HE'S FINE HE DIDNT HURT HIM PHYSICALLY AARON'S FINE RIGHT NOW

lyaf: WAIT WAIT WAIT EXCUSE ME WHAT HAPPEN?

Herc aderp: OKAY EVERYBODY FUCKIN BREATHE 

ginger.ale[x]: Thomas scared whoever the fuck was there away but not before we both beat the shit outta him

lyaf: What happen with Aaron? We'll be there soon once everybody is done piling out

john.looksie: There is so many people I can't even see past them

john.looksie: Is Aaron okay?

ginger.ale[x]: The guy had Aaron over the bed with his face pressed into the mattress, I think he was talking into his ear. I dunno, when we got there Thomas and I just threw him off and started kicking the shit outta him while Maria screamed and helped Aaron

john.looksie: Oh my god

ginger.ale[x]: Aaron's fine, at least that's what he's saying. He's trying to calm Maria down

ginger.ale[x]: Thomas is helping me look for Aaron's phone because apparently the guy tossed it from them

ginger.ale[x]: Wait a second

lyaf: I am so pissed right now

Herc aderp: I WANT TO HUG AARON SO BAD UGH EVERYBODY GET THE FUCK OUT

john.looksie: Alex???

ginger.ale[x]: THE GUY WHO WAS HERE WAS MARIA'S X HUSBAND


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Triggering!!  
> Contains Transphobic slurs and Non-Con themes!
> 
> I decided to write out what happen to Aaron because I don't specifically plan for him to reveal it via a text? That doesn't make complete sense to me so this is just for you guys to fully understand what happen and not be left out of context n all

Aaron's head ached. He swayed a little bit as he worked himself up the stairs, texting tiredly. He had brought it to Monty, Jonathan, and Matthias's attention that he felt ill, but he didn't understand  _how._

 

_a.burr: I don't know what's wrong_

_R.Mont: Go to sleep, they obviously won't mind_

 

Aaron smiled to himself, affection flickering inside at Montgomery's reply. He loved the man as a father and he knew Monty loved him as a son, it's been that way since he first started working for him. He felt a pang of regret hit him, wondering if it really was worth it moving here. He shook it off, breathing in and out to help steady himself. Of course it was.

At least Montgomery wasn't persistent on telling him who he could have sex with and who he couldn't, that conversation left him with a hot face and humming heart.

 

_Jon.BallIsLife: You didn't set your cup down at any given point, did you??_

 

Aaron paused, contemplating. Did he? Yes, he had. He set his cup down to throw ping pongs into the cups for beer pong, but who would honestly want to roofie  _his_ drink? He shook his head, which ended up making him stumble a bit. Aaron huffed, deciding it was his inner stupidity that did that to himself.

 

_a.burr: Yeah, I did, but I really dont think anybody put anything in my drink_

 

Aaron looked around, trying to remember what Maria had instructed him. The room was too hot. Everything was too... real. He felt like he could feel someone breathing down his neck. He walked to the third room from the right, texting Matthias back slowly so that he didn't create any grammatical errors. It would make them worry even more, and by hell Aaron hated it when people worried obnoxiously over him.

 

_matty: But you are really dizzy and hot, yeah?_

_a.burr: Also very tired_

_a.burr: I'm just barely moving my legs_

_a.burr: Oh thank God I found the room_

 

Aaron inwardly praised himself. He wanted to sleep so bad.

 

_Jon.BallIsLife: Good go lay down_

_Jon.BallIsLife: I'll check in with Madison to check in on you_

 

He laughed a bit, walking in and stood in front of the bed, smiling at the irony. Out of everybody, Jonathan had decided that Madison was the only trustworthy one even though Aaron has a specific feeling that Madison was the major flirt of the relationship Thomas and he had out for him.

 

_a.burr: Great_

_a.burr: I'll try and che_

 

Giving a muffled yelp, he found himself stomach-flat against the bed. He raised his face from the mattress, moving at the quickest pace he could with the heavy-feeling of his limbs to try and sit up. It felt like someone was straddling his back. 

"Alex?" Aaron tempted, cringing at the slur of his voice. Whatever is happening to him, it's surely working into his system fast. _Probably cause you drank it like it was water,_ He thought bitterly. He hissed in pain when a sharp knee dug into his back and force him back down into the bed. His hand was stuck uncomfortably between the mattress and his chest, his thumb just barely brushing the screen of his phone. Maybe he could type out a mesage? Unlikely, not like this, at least. Aaron squirmed, taking in a sharp breath to yell at whoever was on him (he suspected Thomas. Thomas seemed like the guy to joke around like this.)

"Scream and I have no fucking issue knocking you the fuck out." 

Aaron froze, running the voice through his head and tensed. That voice sounded so familiar. He felt a shiver rake down his spine, timid to asking who was above him. 

"Smart," The man above him complimented towards his silence. A disgusted turn happened in Aaron's stomach. Maybe it was abhorrence... or It might just be the sick feeling from before rising up. He started arching when the guy leaned over him, bending to whisper into his ear. Directly.

Aaron made a noise of disgust, turning his head away from the mouth when he started speaking; "So, how's the life of a man working for you?"

"Excuse me?" Aaron started, confusion flickering.

"You weren't hard at picking up sentences in court, what happen Aaron? Did that drink get to you?"

Aaron honestly didn't think he needed to ask this person if he was who he thought he was. So, he decided to just do the next best thing. He took a sharp breath in and fought to turn himself around, practically bruising his spine from the knee pushing into his back. When he got himself onto his back, he shoved the man off and quickly sat up. But in that moment, his head spun and he found himself swaying. It felt like the air was getting heavier, forcing him to drop back down and just deal with the weight of an invisible object on his limbs and chest. What happened with that drink?

"Off..." Aaron got out when James (no use pretending like it wasn't him) loomed over. He felt sick, like he was going to throw up. Should he warn him about that?

_If I throw up, I'll make sure it's on him._

Aaron turned his head away lazily when James leaned down, pausing at the way his phone vibrated violently in his hand. The group chat! He can type and- Aaron winced when he felt the phone get snatched from his fingers and heard it thump into the ground. 

"I don't need the distraction." James scoffed.

"Lucky..." Aaron got out, "I'm stuck with the distraction of some... lunatic with a dinasour head looming over me..."

Aaron hissed when nails dug straight through his shirt and into his upper hip bones. What happened to his robe...? Oh right, he tossed it along with the crown when they were doing Jello-shots.

"Testing your luck," James snarled into his ear. 

"Y'did great for the costume party, though," Aaron continued, "Gollum from Lord of the Rings, right?" 

He knew he was gonna get something back for that, maybe some punch in the gut or hard whack in the face. Honestly, he'd usually keep his mouth shut and just pay attention during these moments, but the alcohol was probably working him over now. Aaron mentally cursed himself for not pacing himself when he was drinking. He paused at the feeling of James's hands working up his sides, not directly touching his skin because of the shirt between them, but it, for some reason, was enough to make him shiver and arch weakly.

 _I don't understand,_ Aaron thought, furrowing his eyebrows.

"I think you pulled the best costume here," James sneered into his ear, the hot breath making him honest-to-God cringe. What disgusted him even more was the fact that even though he hated James, knew he was sick and gross, that the touch was doing something to him. What was in the drink?

"Off." Aaron ordered weakly, voice lost when the hands traced above his belt. 

 _Uh-oh,_ He thought in terror, trying to raise his limp hands to swat away the touches. 

"Girl in a boy's suit," James's voice was seriously causing him nausea, "Y'know... Just a few choice calls and I figured it out. I wonder, does anybody else know?"

"Fuck you." Aaron snarled, swallowing down bile. He feels so sick.

"Baby girl," The offending man cooed so sickenly soft into his ear that it made Aaron arch.

Not the best decision, but he took all of his strength to slam a fist into James's cheek and quickly roll over to throw himself off the bed and book it out of the room. But by the time he had pushed himself off the bed, the world was spinning and he felt like he could seriously drop there and die. His heart was hurting. He wanted to just lay down and curl in on himself. 

"You fucking bitch," James's voice drew Aaron back to reality. Too late. He was back against the bed, face pressing so hard into the mattress that he couldn't breathe. Gave a muffled exclaim, energy leaving too quickly. His head is hurting. His ears are ringing too loud and the muffled taunts James was hissing into his ear were blending in with the white noise, which only fueled Aaron's sick stomach. He wanted to cry, this was far too overwhelming. How could someone be so cruel? Why waste time and money to come here just to fuck up an innocent party? Aaron's lungs were beginning to scream for air from being suppressed.

Suddenly, the weight on his body was gone and he was sliding down the bed to his knees on the ground. He took rapid gasps of air, trying to fill his lungs but also trying not to upset his stomach enough for him to actually throw up. He feels so horrible. 

Hands were on him, small and danty. Aaron realized that he had not opened his eyes yet. He forced them open, turning around from the bed to press his back against it and watch in a mix of horror and relief as Thomas and Alexander worked James over. His cheeks were grabbed, forced to turn to Maria. 

She was talking but he couldn't hear. So he settled for mumbling a string of "I'm fine." Because that was certainly what he would like to believe. The white noise was fading, but so was his ability to see correctly. One sense traded in for another, but Aaron would much rather have seeing over hearing. God he's goig to have to explain this at least eight times. Everything felt horrible. 

"What happen?" Maria's voice finally got to his ears. She looked absolutely ready to sob and yell at the same time.

"I don't know, I don't know," Aaron said exasperatedly, praying she'd believe him because he _didn't_ know. He needs to calm down, fast, because he was sure he was going to be in a room filled with a bunch of people freaking out over him and he would need to be the only calm one.

 _I hope I can calm down._ He thought, feeling his head spin again.


	32. Chapter 32

Jon.BallIsLife: Aaron...? Are you up?

matty: Maybe he's sick

Jon.BallIsLife: He hasn't spoken to us since last night when he passed out at Maria's, I'm getting worried

R.Mont: ... I'll ask George about it.

 

 

 

 

_ManoftheTV has started a chat with ginger.ale[x]!_

ManoftheTV: You didn't hear it from me: Aaron's planning to come to work today.

ManoftheTV: I don't think he should be up at work after last night. And James and I thought it would be best if you took him home, or even if you don't want to leave work, James can take him back. Just text him the address.

ginger.ale[x]: Wait, you actually think he should come and... hang out at my place?

ginger.ale[x]: Why? 

ManoftheTV: At least one or two of your boyfriends are home at all times, right? I don't want Aaron home alone and I won't be able to help him with all the work that's going on out of town. James already promised me to come along, So he can't stay either.

ginger.ale[x]: That's... oddly mature

ManoftheTV: Shut the up Pigletton

ginger.ale[x]: There we go

ManoftheTV: Hey, Hamilton,

ginger.ale[x]: What

ManoftheTV: Can I... check in with you guys every once in a while about Aaron?

ginger.ale[x]: ... of course

ginger.ale[x]: Yeah, you can

ginger.ale[x]: Not me specifically because ur trash

ManoftheTV: ( ☉ ◡ ☉ )

ManoftheTV: lasttimeimnicetoyou

 

 

 

 

_ginger.ale[x] has started a chat with john.looksie, Herc aderp, lyaf!_

ginger.ale[x]: Okay here's the plan

lyaf: ?

Herc aderp: Something happen?

ginger.ale[x]: Aaron is planning to come to work. I talked everything out with George, Aaron is getting a week off to recollect and he's going to be staying at our place.

john.looksie: Will that fly with Aaron??

lyaf: Mon Amour...?

ginger.ale[x]: Thomas told me, it was his idea to bring Aaron to our place because there's usually one of us around.

lyaf: Wow

Herc aderp: He actually said that

ginger.ale[x]: He called me Pigletton afterward

Herc aderp: HAH

john.looksie: Even when he's nice Jefferson's an asshole

ginger.ale[x]: Who the fuck is free rn to drive down and pick up Aaron and I

john.looksie: I AAAMMM

john.looksie: On MY WAY NOW

ginger.ale[x]: WELL HURRY BC I THINK I HEAR AARON COMING DOWN THE HALL

ginger.ale[x]: Nvm it's just that?? Scary janitor dude??

lyaf: His name is Kevin and he is not quote of quote scary

Herc aderp: QUOTE ON QUOTE LAF

ginger.ale[x]: oh god

ginger.ale[x]: Guys Aaron looks so

ginger.ale[x]: Sick

lyaf: Tell him to sit down??

Herc aderp: Is he okay?

ginger.ale[x]: He says he's fine but he's talking really quietly

lyaf: mon petit Burr D:

ginger.ale[x]: He just went into George's office

ginger.ale[x]: Watching through the window

Herc aderp: Whats happening?

ginger.ale[x]: They're talking

ginger.ale[x]: George probably just told him about the week off thing

ginger.ale[x]: Aaron looks distraught

Herc aderp: Jesus he is you

ginger.ale[x]: Oop now he looks slightly irritated

ginger.ale[x]: George is looking at his phone like wow what a dad thing to do

ginger.ale[x]: George looked up and said something and Aaron looks like he just got slapped

ginger.ale[x]: Aaron looks honest to God fearful for his life rn what did George say??

lyaf: Alexander?

Herc aderp: Bro?? What happened?

ginger.ale[x]: AARON SAID HE FORGOT HIS PHONE IN OUR CAR AND HE DIDNT TEXT JON OR MATTY SINCE LAST NIGHT

ginger.ale[x]: Shit hold on Aaron just kind of collapsed against my chair. 

lyaf: The moment he gets here, I'm gonna hold him and carry him everywhere

Herc aderp: !! I'll make that special soup I make ya'll when you're sick

john.looksie: Here! 

john.looksie: Oh MY GOD SICK BOY SOUP IS BEING MADE??

lyaf: SMH

ginger.ale[x]: We'll be there in a second Aaron needs help walking

ginger.ale[x]: Nevermind stubborn kid won't let me touch him anymore

ginger.ale[x]: He slapped my hand

lyaf: I'm not letting him go when he gets here

lyaf: Gonna hold him with the Lafayette strength

Herc aderp: Laf ur muscles are so nonexistent that ur biceps dip in

ginger.ale[x]: OMFFGGGG

lyaf: WANNA GO HERC

john.looksie: Oh MY GGGOODDDDDDDD

ginger.ale[x]: AARON GOT A KICK OUTTA THAT WHEN I READ IT TO HIM

ginger.ale[x]: He said he thinks you have mucles Laf

lyaf: TAKE THAT HOECULES

Herc aderp: I AM IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP

john.looksie: Golly Aaron does look a little blue

ginger.ale[x]: SEE

ginger.ale[x]: Woop Aaron is in the car

Herc aderp: Hell yeah

ginger.ale[x]: AARON FOUND HIS PHOONEEE

 

 

 

a.burr: I'm fine

Jon.BallIsLife: AARON!

matty: OH MY GOD YOU'RE ALIVE

R.Mont: WHERE WERE YOU YOUNG MAN

a.burr: I left my phone in Alexander's car, Sorry

Jon.BallIsLife: What's wrong? You're typing vibe is a little... neutral

Jon.BallIsLife: Do you still feel sick?

a.burr: I feel horrible to be honest

a.burr: But that's my own fault

matty: Do you need Tylenol? 

a.burr: Tylenol wont help but thanks

R.Mont: My Little Burr, would you like us to visit earlier then this weekend?

a.burr: No, you guys have work and it'd be a big bother

R.Mont: I run the practice, Aaron

matty: Yeah, c'mon Little Burr

matty: This week Thursday? We can make it it's only four days away

a.burr: ... Thanks, That would be nice to see you guys.

a.burr: As long as it fits into your schedule

R.Mont: You're literally so much more important than a damn work schedule, I don't want to read those words ever coming from you again

 

 

 

 

_a.burr has started a chat with R.Mont!_

**Chat has been upgraded to WHITE ROOM by a.burr, code is 7881.**

a.burr: I love you so much

R.Mont: I love you too, Aaron

 

 

 

 

john.looksie: WeRE HEERREEE

Herc aderp: MY SOUP IS ALMOST READY OMFOMFKFNDKSNAK HURRY UP YOU FUCKING SOUP

lyaf: OUT I GOOOOO 

ginger.ale[x]: AARON IS DEAD RN BECAUSE HE WASNT EXPECTING US TO LIVE IN A FUCKING MANSION

ginger.ale[x]: "It's... so big..."

john.looksie: said no one ever in bed with Herc

Herc aderp: UHM??

Herc aderp: FUCK YOU??

john.looksie: OmG LAF

ginger.ale[x]: LAFAYETTE JUST OPENED BURRS SIDE OF THE DOOR N BURR WAS LIKE OH HEY MAN AND LAF JUST FUCKING PICKED HIM UP BRIDAL STYLE AND NOW BURR IS EXCLAIMING

ginger.ale[x]: AH I LOVE

john.looksie: BuRR LOOKS SO EMBARRASSED

Herc aderp: LMAAAOO LITERALLY THE FIRST THING I HEAR WHEN YALL COME IN "LISTEN LYAF HAS THE BIGGEST DICK SO HE MAKES THE CALLS"

Herc aderp: STRAIGHT UP TRUTH??

ginger.ale[x]: Listen tho Laf has like a ruler dick and that's

ginger.ale[x]: Crazy

john.looksie: But it sure is splendid when in use (^B

Herc aderp: John u r literally the horniest guy I know

john.looksie: ThANKS FAM

ginger.ale[x]: Burr has given up and resorted to leaning into Lafayette as he watches fucking Frozen

ginger.ale[x]: LAF YOU DONT NEED THE WHOLE COUCH

ginger.ale[x]: Oh right he doesnt have his phone

john.looksie: LmMAAOOO

Herc aderp: MY SOUP DOONNEEE

Herc aderp: HELL YEAH SOMEONE TELL BURR MY SOUP IS ON THE FOCKIN WAY

ginger.ale[x]: Burr said "Oh, that's why it smells so nice in here"

ginger.ale[x]: Compliment or an insult, who knows?

john.looksie: It's always good to have a mystery in a relationship


	33. Chapter 33

ginger.ale[x]: AARON IS SO CUTE I WANT TO SCREAM BUT I CANT BC ILL PROBABLY RUIN IT

ginger.ale[x]: LIKE HOW IN THE FUCKS NAME HAS AARON SOMEHOW MANAGES TO SITUATE HIMSELF IN LAFS LAP AND EAT SOUP COMFORTABLY DO YALL EVEN KNOW HOW HARD THAT IS

lyaf: "Yall" forget I'm still in this chat

john.looksie: ExPOSED

Herc aderp: I AGREE WITH ALEX AARON IS TAKING HIS DAMN TIME EATING MY SOUP AND I LOVE IT

ginger.ale[x]: HE LOOKS SO COMFORTABLE AGAINST YOUR CHEST HOW

ginger.ale[x]: Not that your chest isnt comfortable

ginger.ale[x]: BUT HOW IS HE COMFORTABLE AGAINST YOUR CHEST AND EATING SOUP AT THE SAME TIME

ginger.ale[x]: Maybe I just have problems having a steady hand

john.looksie: Heh

Herc aderp: JOHN NOT IN THIS CHRISTIAN HOUSEHOLD WITH OUR VIRGIN GUEST OF HONOR

john.looksie: WhAT? ARE YOU SAYING I CANT FUCK YALL WHILE AARONS AROUND

lyaf: Yes that's exactly what they're saying

 

 

 

 

_lyaf has started a chat with john.looksie!_

lyaf: No you can fuck me anytime you want

 

 

 

 

john.looksie: Well gosh darnit I guess I cant diddly dang bang anymore

john.looksie: curses oh me

ginger.ale[x]: SMh

Herc aderp: I want to hold him

lyaf: He's on my lap hissssss

Herc aderp: YOU HAD HIM FOR THIRTY MINUTES ITS MY TURN

lyaf: I'll drop him on your lap when I have to get up to change the channel

john.looksie: If WE'RE TAKING TURNS I CALL HIM NEXT

ginger.ale[x]: He stopped eating the soup

lyaf: I noticed by the clank of a spoon hitting the bowl as he set it down

Herc aderp: He looks really upset

lyaf: I can't see him he's tucked under my chin

john.looksie: I got it

ginger.ale[x]: What

john.looksie: Turn on Frozen I recorded it last night

lyaf: K brb lemme put Aaron on Herc

Herc aderp: Yes come to daddy

Herc aderp: wait

ginger.ale[x]: DA D D DY

john.looksie: KiNK SHAMING

Herc aderp: N N O    I

ginger.ale[x]: D A D D Y

john.looksie: ShAAMMINNGGG

lyaf: It feels cold without Aaron on me

lyaf: god dammit how cold is this house

Herc aderp: Aaron is so warm like wow this guy has a fever

john.looksie: TuRN ON FROZEN YOU PUBESCENT FRENCHGUY

ginger.ale[x]: PPFFFFFFFFFFF

lyaf: Comment oses-tu

Herc aderp: Aaron's shifting on my lap send help

lyaf: Dont you dare get a boner

john.looksie has sent a photo!

ginger.ale[x]: AH WHAT THE FUCK JOHN

lyaf: NO NN !!!!!

Herc aderp: AHHH ITS THE FUCKING DUCK PENIS

lyaf: TURN AWAY TUR N A W AY 

john.looksie: So

john.looksie: Alex about those steady hands

ginger.ale[x]: N O N

 

 

 

 

_a.burr has started a chat with matty!_

a.burr: I feel like a bowl of popcorn

matty: I'm sorry what

a.burr: Well how do I explain

matty: Where are you

matty: why arent you talking on the group chat

a.burr: i'm scared jon n monty are gonna kill alexander and his squad

matty: what are they doing??

a.burr: Well I'm not feeling well, that's apparently obvious because my Boss sent me home today and said to come back in a few days when I am feeling better

a.burr: So I go out to leave and I get caught by Alexander. He was talking and I was... just kinda thinking too hard and I ended up in Alexander's chair, trying to collect myself while he insisted I go to his house and rest there because I'm too "out of it" to take care of myself

a.burr: Which is idiotic, I am obviously not too "out of it" to take care of myself I'm doing fine

matty: I miss your stubbornness

a.burr: So I end up at his house

a.burr: Lets stop there for a second

a.burr: MATTY THEIR HOUSE IS HUGE !

matty: IM SORRY HM?

a.burr: FROM A GLANCE AROUND IT HAS AT LEAST TEN ROOMS ON EACH LEVEL, WHICH IS TWO

matty: WOAH

a.burr: MATTY THE FLOOR IS MARBLE

a.burr: God I want this house

matty: Steal it

a.burr: When they least expect it

a.burr: But anyway, I get to their house and as I'm collecting myself to stand up and walk, Lafayette comes in

matty: French guy? Lyaf?

a.burr: Yes him

a.burr: He picks me out from the car and literally refuses to set me down to let me walk on my own

a.burr: And then cut scene to the living room, Hercules (Herc aderp) made me soup and Lafayette still refuses to let me go anywhere but his lap

a.burr: btw the soup is Amazing

matty: Capital "A" wow

matty: Wait a second why is he persistent on keeping you on his lap

a.burr: He's french

a.burr: He cares

a.burr: He thinks his lap is the safest place for me idk

a.burr: I lose my appetite

a.burr: And everybody kicked it into action

matty: Why'd you lose your appetite?

a.burr: I was just overthinking and so on

matty: Okay hold on something is seriously wrong, what's up burr?

a.burr: ... I just... Something happened on that night at the party and

a.burr: It's got me thinking

matty: about what, Burr?

matty: what happened?

a.burr: I want to tell you, Jon, and Monty at the same time what happened

a.burr: but I

a.burr: Matty what if

a.burr: Nevermind

matty: No no no, tell me

matty: C'mon, Aaron

matty: I wont tell Jon or Monty, okay?

a.burr: what if I'm faking

a.burr: What if I just feel comfortable being a man because...

matty: Stopping you right there

matty: Aaron I don't know what happened but you are not faking

matty: You've known you were transgender since we've met

matty: You're my best friend, my brother, and you've always been that

a.burr: I've never had someone say such cruel things about my decisions

matty: Whoever said that is going fucking down, I promise

 

 

 

 

john.looksie: Shit

lyaf: Is Aaron crying??

ginger.ale[x]: WHAT IM IN THE KITCHEN WTH IS HAPPENING

john.looksie: Laf and Herc are comforting Aaron, I'm on my way to get the tissues from my room to give to him

ginger.ale[x]: What happened?!

john.looksie: He was texting on his phone and he just stopped and started crying

john.looksie: When I left he was shaking his head and saying he was fine and that it was allergies but

ginger.ale[x]: Bullshit I'll be there soon

 

 

 

_angelcake has started a chat with cosplay.goddess, IamLighterfluid, Trickster.Pegs, ManoftheTV, J.MadIsOn!_

_** angelcake has upgraded the room to BLACK BOX, CODE WORD IS "revenge", chat lasts 144 hours. ** _

angelcake has forwarded a photo from Church.Lyfe!

angelcake: There's the address

angelcake: Ya'll know what to do?

IamLighterfluid: Hell yeah we do

ManoftheTV: Madison and I are packing as we speak

Trickster.Pegs: The dude is going down

cosplay.goddess: Eliza

IamLighterfluid: Hm?

cosplay.goddess: I want him to burn


	34. Chapter 34

ginger.ale[x]: Aaron's asleep now

lyaf: How is he?

Herc aderp: How long did he cry?

john.looksie: Alex dont wake him up with the phone

ginger.ale[x]: Brightness is on low, silent is on

ginger.ale[x]: He cried up until he fell asleep, I couldn't calm him down

ginger.ale[x]: Which sucks

lyaf: I wish we knew why he was crying

ginger.ale[x]: ,,, I have his phone right beside me

john.looksie: Alexander istg

ginger.ale[x]: MAYBE HE TOLD ONE OF HIS PARENT FRIENDS??

Herc aderp: Alex no

ginger.ale[x]: okay look if we figure out what is bothering him specifically we can help him

ginger.ale[x]: As far as I know his body is rejecting the effects of whatever James drugged in his drink and that's why he's so ill

ginger.ale[x]: But what made him cry??

lyaf: Maybe he's just overwhelmed

lyaf: He was told to go home from work and brought into an unfamiliar household

john.looksie: He isnt a dog laf

Herc aderp: Hey speaking of dog didnt Aaron want one

ginger.ale[x]: Sorry Aaron shifted and now his legs are tangled in mine and he's seriously right under my chin

ginger.ale[x]: Mayday mayday i cant move

john.looksie: ThEN DONT MOVE

ginger.ale[x]: Hold on imma try and situate him and myself into something comfortable

Herc aderp: What if he just rolled off the bed and flopped

lyaf: fwump

john.looksie: Knowing Aaron he'd probs take a picture

john.looksie: Send it to matty

john.looksie: HeY I GOT IT

Herc aderp: what??

john.looksie: IlL ASK MATTY WHAT'S WRONG WE'RE BROS

lyaf: Are you really tho

john.looksie: I'm bro enough with him to know he has a raging crush on mama pigeon

Herc aderp: FWWWUUMPPP

lyaf: WHAT

john.looksie: He HASNT CONFIRMED IT BUT GOD DAMN HE IS EITHER REALLY IN LOVE WITH HIM OR SOME TYPE OF OVER THE LINE BFF

ginger.ale[x]: Back

ginger.ale[x]: MATTY B AND MAMA PIGEON ARE A THING??

john.looksie: No THATS NOT WHAT I SAID

ginger.ale[x]: SHIT BOII

ginger.ale[x]: TEA SPILT

Herc aderp: Js

ginger.ale[x]: I'm so glad Aaron agreed to laying in my bed with me

lyaf: He didn't you dragged him in and said "we're not leaving until I make you feel better"

lyaf: which promptly ended in him and you cuddling and Aaron falling asleep

ginger.ale[x]: I didnt ask for a novelty laf

Herc aderp: HA

john.looksie: Matty wont tell me but he says its really personal

ginger.ale[x]: What's wrong with Aaron?

john.looksie: yeah

ginger.ale[x]: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, his phone is right there

lyaf: Alex no

Herc aderp: It's probably locked dude

ginger.ale[x]: IT AINT

lyaf: ALEX WHAT DID I SAY

ginger.ale[x]: HIS FUCKING BACKGROUND IS A PIECE OF TOAST WITH A PHOTOSHOPPED NICOLAS CAGE FACE IM FUCKING SCREAMING

john.looksie: FuCKINGDHAVAK

ginger.ale[x]: IT HURTS SO BAD I CANT HOLD IN MY LAUGH GUYS

lyaf: ALEXANDER IF YOU LAUGH AND WAKE UP BURR I WILL MURDER YOU

ginger.ale[x]: ITS THE FUCKING ORLY FACE OH MU G. G G O ODDD

Herc aderp: AARON BURR IS LITERALLY A MEME GOD GSKAVAK

ginger.ale[x]: WHEEZING ALL OF THIS IS PERFECT IM GOING THROUGH HIS PICTURES N LIKE

ginger.ale[x]: HELLOOOO FROM THE OTTER SLIIDDEEE

lyaf: ALEXAN D E R

ginger.ale[x]: HE HAS A FOLDER CALLED RIP AND IT LOOKS LIKE PAST WALLPAPERS BC NICOLAS TOAST IS IN THERE 

ginger.ale[x]: I FUCKING CANT HOLD IT IN GUYS MY CHEST IS PHYSICALLY ACHING

lyaf: GOT DAMMIT ELIZABETH

john.looksie: LaF PLS

john.looksie: Im NOT EVEN MAD ANYMORE WHATS THE FOLDER

ginger.ale[x]: THERE'S THE MINE TURTLE FROM ADSF ON A MOUNTAIN OH MY GOD

ginger.ale[x]: THERES ON WITH PEPE WHERE HE HAS PINK EMO HAIR AND IT SAYS "ONLY 90's KIDS" AND PEPE IS CRYING RAINBOW TEARS WTH

ginger.ale[x]: I HOPE AARON MADE THESE SO BAD

john.looksie: HeRCULES IS MUFFLING HIS LAUGHING IN THE COUCH PILLOWS

lyaf: SMFH

Herc aderp: THE FUCKING PEPE GOT ME OH MY G. O. O O. D DD 

john.looksie: HeRC SHHH

Herc aderp: Oh hey I just remembered

lyaf: That bounce back tho

Herc aderp: Guys guys

Herc aderp: It was like back when laf was saying Aaron has dog like tendencies

lyaf: Aaron does have dog like tendencies

Herc aderp: Aaron wanted a dog right

ginger.ale[x]: ,,, yeah

Herc aderp: Puppies bring joy right

john.looksie: Herc wyd

 

 

 

 

a.burr: Ughh... my head hurts

R.Mont: It's 12:31 PM where you are

matty: You slept in late

a.burr: Alex is gone

matty: What

a.burr: Alex let me sleep in his bed and he was laying beside me and now he's gone

R.Mont: Good

matty: Monty pls

a.burr: Monty no

a.burr: Wait a second where's Jon

matty: That's not important

a.burr: Matty wyd

Jon.baloney: MATTY

Jon.baloney: YOU DEVIL CHILD

matty: WHY DO YOU ASSUME ITS ME

a.burr: omfG

R.Mont: AHAHA

Jon.baloney: ARE YOU GOING TO DENY IT

a.burr: BALONEY OMFG

matty: I did it yeah

matty: BUT ITS A PLAY ON WORD JON LOOK

matty: JONATHAN BELLAMY

matty: JONATHAN BALONEY

Jon.baloney: How did you even CHANGE this

R.Mont: 100% get rekt

a.burr: Baloney also means to talk foolishly sooo

matty: Aaron

matty: stfu

Jon.BallIsLife: THERE

Jon.BallIsLife: FIXED

Jon.BallIsLife: Aaron why are you in Alexander's bed

a.burr: Well 

a.burr: It's warm and comfortable

R.Mont: Unlike him

Jon.BallIsLife: Heh

a.burr: There's a note on the pillow

matty: Dandy

R.Mont: Tear it up

Jon.BallIsLife: Read it than tear it up

a.burr: "Went off with Herc to go movie hunting Laf n John are probably in John's room"

a.burr: Probably

matty: There's a chance

Jon.BallIsLife: A small possibility

R.Mont: Ythink they're fucking

a.burr: MONTY

R.Mont: IM JUST SAYIN

a.burr: You're suppose to be a hearty old man

R.Mont: I am hearty but I am not old

matty: or a man

R.Mont: You're on your last straw young man

a.burr: I don't know where the Bathroom is

a.burr: I also just realized I didn't bring any clothes

a.burr: Hold on let me text Alexander and see what I can do bout that

Jon.BallIsLife: If he says to wear his clothes tell him to screw off

matty: why

R.Mont: That's the number one way a man claims his bae

a.burr: DONT EVER SAY BAE EVER AGAIN

R.Mont: LET ME BE LIKE THE COOL KIDS

matty: istg

 

 

 

 

_a.burr has started a chat with ginger.ale[x]!_

a.burr: Alex? I didn't bring any clothes and I'm a little lost around here so I can't find where the bathroom is either

ginger.ale[x]: Just wear my clothes

ginger.ale[x]: Also the bathroom is to the right of my room, at the end of the hall on the left side

ginger.ale[x]: Forewarning its huge

a.burr: Thanks

 

 

 

 

a.burr: Okay I found out where the bathroom is

Jon.BallIsLife: What about clothes

a.burr: don't worry about it

 

 

 

 

 

ginger.ale[x]: Hey laf

lyaf: What

lyaf: Did you and Herc find movies

Herc aderp: HELL YEAH WE DID WE GOT BO BURNHAM HOE

john.looksie: HeLL YEAH

john.looksie: MoVIE NIGHT

john.looksie: MoVIE NIGHT

ginger.ale[x]: STG YALL

ginger.ale[x]: AARON IS UP N TAKING A SHOWER

ginger.ale[x]: LAF N JOHN I NEED YALL TO LITERALLY BUTTER THE FUCK UP OUTTA AARON K

lyaf: What're you planning now

john.looksie: I can sense the gears turning

ginger.ale[x]: We're gonna find out whats wrong okay we need to fix this

ginger.ale[x]: But we gotta get Aaron in the best fricken mood alive

ginger.ale[x]: Aka butter him up

Herc aderp: Alexander explained everything to me I think it'll work

Herc aderp: We just need Aaron in a great mood

john.looksie: I'm gonna kiss him

lyaf: John istg

ginger.ale[x]: john why

john.looksie: bc my kisses are the essence of life hoe

Herc aderp: No Dairy Queen is

ginger.ale[x]: T RU E THOO

lyaf: GASP

lyaf: OUI OUI OUI DAIRY QUEEN LUNCH??

john.looksie: SmAD

 

 

 

 

 

a.burr: BIG

Jon.BallIsLife: Aaron what

a.burr has sent a photo!

a.burr has sent a photo!

a.burr has sent a photo!

a.burr: BATHROOM

matty: OHMY GOD

R.Mont: This is infact a big bathroom

Jon.BallIsLife: They're compensating for something else

a.burr: You're suppose to be a priest

Jon.BallIsLife: Am I? I forgot

a.burr: sassy jerk

matty: Aaron is that your jacket on the floor

a.burr: Yeah

matty: ,,,aaron wyd

a.burr: Oh I just got out of the shower and I'm throwing on some clothes and I wanted to share how fricken awesome this is

Jon.BallIsLife: ... take a picture of the clothes you're wearing

a.burr: No f u

Jon.BallIsLife: AARON

R.Mont: YOURE WEARING HIS CLOTHES ARENT YOU

R.Mont: AARON TAKE THOSE OFF RIGHT NOW

a.burr: Sorry do you want me to roam naked because I'm sure these guys would love that

matty: REPENT.

Jon.BallIsLife: REPENT.

R.Mont: YALL QUIT YOUR REPENTING AARON BURR I WILL GROUND YOU

matty: OH

a.burr: IM IN NEW YORK

a.burr: WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO

R.Mont: IM COMING DOWN ON THURSDAY YOUNG MAN IM READY

a.burr: BUT THE SHIRT IS REALLY LOOSE AND COMFORTABLE CMON

Jon.BallIsLife: IM GONNA CONTACT MADISON

a.burr: TAKE THAT MADISON'S OUT ON A TRIP WITH THOMAS

R.Mont: I'm gonna fight

Jon.BallIsLife: God is not happy with you

matty: Jon dont bring goD INTO THIS ISTG


	35. Chapter 35

ginger.ale[x]: I'm excited I'm excited I'm excited

Herc aderp: IM PUMPED IM PUMPED IM PUMPED

john.looksie: for what

ginger.ale[x]: WE

ginger.ale[x]: GOT

ginger.ale[x]: THE FIRST SEASON

ginger.ale[x]: OF MODERN FAMILY

lyaf: OUI OUIIIIIIII !!

john.looksie: AhHHH

Herc aderp: WE ALSO GOT A SCARY MOVIE ITS CALLED HUSH

john.looksie: I HEARD OF THAT UH HECK TO THE YEAH???

ginger.ale[x]: HOW YALL BUTTERING UP GOING

ginger.ale[x]: HOWS AARON??

lyaf: Aaron's very comfortable

lyaf: At least I think

john.looksie: Me AND HIM ARE CUDDLING

Herc aderp: me and him

john.looksie: HiS LEGS ARE OVER MY LAP AND WERE KINDA

john.looksie: In A CRISS CROSS FORMATION

lyaf: Aaron's playing an algebra game and leaning against my shoulder

lyaf: He's snickering to himself when he wins a level

Herc aderp: Aaron is our cute nerd

ginger.ale[x]: The hell is he snickering about

lyaf: He has headphones in and i'm faintly hearing trump's voice

john.looksie: Sorry

john.looksie: come again

lyaf: I'm faintly hearing trump's voice saying "turn off those lights" when aaron beats a level and "wrong" when he fails

Herc aderp: THATS KINDA FUNNY LMAO

ginger.ale[x]: THATS A MATH GAME???

john.looksie: AARON JUST GIGGLED SO HARD HE HID HIS FACE INTO LAF'S ARM AND SHOOK HIS HEAD UH ADORABLE I WANT TO KISS HIS FUCKING FACE OFF

ginger.ale[x]: #BeAggressive

Herc aderp: Be aggressive

lyaf: be be aggressive

john.looksie: God Aaron is so adorable

 

 

 

 

 

_a.burr started a chat with matty!_

a.burr: The guys are planning something and I am sure it's bad

Matty: Scuse me

a.burr: They're being really nice

a.burr: Maybe that's just me but...

matty: Hold up

matty: Explain

a.burr: I came out after putting clothes on and Lafayette and John were outside the door of the room I was in. I obviously got the devil scared outta me

matty: Finally

a.burr: So as I'm recuperating these guys are excited as all hell and pull me to the kitchen and demand I let them make me breakfast

matty: WAIT DID YOU

a.burr: no i told them to sit down

matty: Diddly dang

a.burr: So I made them french toast and myself a coffee

matty: Why didnt you eat BREAKFAST

a.burr: I WASNT HUNGRY

matty: BURR YOULL BE HUNGRY WHEN YOU DYIN OF STARVATION

a.burr: Then I will finally eat

a.burr: Anyway we did the breakfast tango and now we're on the couch

a.burr: Lemme just stop the story here for a sec

matty: Oh no

matty: Aaron they arent naked are they

a.burr: No

matty: AARON THEY ARENT NAKED ARE THEY

a.burr: NO MATTHIAS

a.burr: YOU TELL NO SOUL

a.burr: NO S O U L

a.burr: WHAT IM DOING OKAY

matty: WHATAREYOUDOING

a.burr: MY LEGS ARE STRADDLING JOHN AND IM SLOWLY INCHING MYSELF INTO LAFS LAP

a.burr: DONT SAY ANYTHING YET

matty: oh thats not that bad

a.burr: it isnt?

matty: No thats pretty tame like setting fire to an orphanage

matty: AARON WHAT THE FUDGE YOU DOIN

a.burr: I DONT KNOW I DONT KNOW

a.burr: I FEEL LIKE A SAPPY PERSON

a.burr: I WANNA BE IN BOTH THEIR LAPS YOU FEEL ME

matty: Aaron you gotta choose one

matty: NO YOU CHOOSE NEITHER IM NOT CONDEMNING THIS

matty: AARON THE ONLY LAP YOU SIT ON IS YOUR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST

a.burr: BUT TEMPTATION

matty: AARON I WILL SMITE YOU

a.burr: Jesus: 0 Laf: 1

matty: Dont you dare

a.burr: Its been done you old hag

matty has added R.Mont to the chat!

a.burr: rid

a.burr: Hagrid

R.Mont: Harry Potter who

R.Mont: WAIT A SECOND AARON WHAT ARE YOU DOING

a.burr: NO TH I N G

R.Mont: WHY HAS LAF GOTTEN A POINT AARON

a.burr: You have reached the live mobil decoy of Aaron Burr. to leave a message, press 1

matty: 1

a.burr: mattyyoudingusomfg

R.Mont: AARON GET OFF HIS LAP THIS INSTANT

R.Mont: THESE BOYS ARE NOTHING BUT TROUBLE YOURE TURNING REBELLIOUS AND I DONT LIKE IT

R.Mont: BEING A PARENT IS SO HAAARRDDD

a.burr: I would pat your back but I'm being locked in by Laf sorry boo

R.Mont: I ??? Raised you in my own household

a.burr: you mean at work

R.Mont: and??? This is how you repay me

a.burr: I kindly resort to saying

a.burr: Matthias tempted me to so I did

matty: BULL??

R.Mont: MATTHIAS WTH DUDE

matty: BUT I DIDNT

R.Mont: YOU KNOW AARON IS COMPETITIVE WHAT ARE YOU DOING AMIGO

matty: BUT

R.Mont: GOD DAMMIT MATTY

 

 

 

 

 

lyaf: This is so great

ginger.ale[x]: What

ginger.ale[x]: What's going on

lyaf: Aaron was texting his friend Matty and I saw a few of it

lyaf: specifically the part where he wanted to sit on both John and I's lap

ginger.ale[x]: SXUSESBWKSB WAHRT

john.looksie: DiD YOU STEAL MY LAP OPPORTUNITY UH RUDE??

Herc aderp: I FOUND A TIE

Herc aderp: WAIT A DIDDLY DANG WHAT

lyaf: Aaron is sitting sideways in my lap and John is scooting closer so that he can steal him

lyaf: No can do

ginger.ale[x]: omf

john.looksie: YoU TRAITOR WE HAD A DEAL

lyaf: No i said we had a seal

Herc aderp: -whispers- damn this guys good

john.looksie: LaFAYETTE WONT SHARE, ALEX

ginger.ale[x]: LAF SHARE

lyaf: But Aaron is snuggling

lyaf: And texting

lyaf: It would be rude to remove him mid text

ginger.ale[x]: shit fam you right

john.looksie: WhAT NO

john.looksie: I better be getting a goddamn bj i stg

ginger.ale[x]: OOSKSK

Herc aderp: LMAO

 

 

 

 

 

a.burr: JON TELL MONTY TO STOP

Jon.BallIsLife: monty stahp

Jon.BallIsLife: Monty just told me what is going on WHAT ARE YOU DOING??

matty: EXPOSED

R.Mont: IN TROUBLE. IN. TROUBLE. 

a.burr: CMON UGH DO I REALLY NEED TO GET OFF OF HIS LAP?? ITS SO WARM AND HE'S SNUGGLING ME WERE BONDING

Jon.BallIsLife: if you wanted to sit on someones lap and snuggle and bond you have me

a.burr: You're not the same

matty: what about me

R.Mont: YALL NO

R.Mont: Aaron sits and snuggles with me

a.burr: Sure 

a.burr: After I get off Laf's lap

a.burr: btw can we do girl talk for a second

R.Mont: Gross

a.burr: You're pervert Steve peeking through the window

matty: OH

Jon.BallIsLife: If he's pervert Steve, I call being Rebecca

matty: can I be Britney 

a.burr: Looks into camera and rolls eyes

Jon.BallIsLife: Repent

a.burr: Yall listen

a.burr: Laf's lap is so perfect

a.burr: and just the way I'm sitting

a.burr: lemme explain

matty: dandy

Jan.BallIsLife: Oh goody

R.Mont: Sighs

a.burr: I'm obviously in Laf's lap. I'm sitting sideways with my right side against his chest, and John is sitting with beside Lafayette where my legs are. I basically lock my legs around John's and I'm leaning into laf

Jon.BallIsLife: This is gross go get a bean bag if you want to be coddled

matty: pfF

R.Mont: AARON IF YOU WANT TO BE CODDLED COME HOME

a.burr: I CANT MONTY I GOT WASHINGTON TO SUCK UP TO

R.Mont: you right

Jon.BallIsLife: Aaron how sick are you feeling 

a.burr: A little but not enough to really make me do anything

a.burr: It feels like the morning sickness you get before school??

matty: I hate that 

Jon.BallIsLife: Ugh me too

R.Mont: Take that biches i never dealt with that

a.burr: i sometimes think you skipped your youth stage and just insta grandpa'd

R.Mont: IM NOT THAT OLD

a.burr: ARENT YOU


	36. Chapter 36

lyaf: "i sometimes think you skipped the youth stage and just insta grandpa'd"

lyaf: aaron @ mont

john.looksie: HaA

ginger.ale[x]: AARON IS SO MEAN TO MONTY

Herc aderp: AARON IS SHOWING HIS AFFECTION THROUGH INSULTS

john.looksie: Well shit i better be getting an insult soon

ginger.ale[x]: John ur music taste is shit

john.looksie: diddly dang

Herc aderp: YO WERE AT THE CAR WERE ON OUR WAY DIDDLY DANG LETS DO THIS THANG

lyaf: Hurry with the DQ

ginger.ale[x]: Laf how do you eat anything and everything you want without gaining a pound

lyaf: thats exactly it metabolism

lyaf: tbh i'll probably grow a few inches

Herc aderp: BUT WHY THO

john.looksie: ThIS IS FUNKY BULL STRIP NO DONT GROW

ginger.ale[x]: Lyaf does your body grow proportionally

lyaf: I think so

lyaf: better hope so

ginger.ale[x]: Let him grow (B

john.looksie: Alex nO

ginger.ale[x]: John if his body grows proportionally what else do you think has to grow

john.looksie: O

lyaf: is that all i am to you

lyaf: a dick to ride

ginger.ale[x]: If the boot fits

Herc aderp: COLD HEARTED BUT TRUTH

lyaf: Yall better be glad we cant fuck because Aaron is around or else you'd be screaming

Herc aderp: Honestly lets do it with Aaron around

john.looksie: ChANTS FRANTICALLY

john.looksie: InVITE HIM

john.looksie: InVITE HIM

john.looksie: InVITE HIM

lyaf: Honestly I think we're inching our way closer to a one night stand

lyaf: John and I at least

ginger.ale[x]: BULL

Herc aderp: I STG ILL ASK AARON WHO HE'D FUCK OUTTA THE FOUR OF US

lyaf: HERC NO

john.looksie: HeRCULES YOURE ALWAYS DOING THIS

lyaf: HERC YOU DICK AARONS CACKLING NOW

ginger.ale[x]: PRFHEJEHSLSBS

ginger.ale[x]: HAHHAHAHA

Herc aderp: HA YOU DICKNUTS I GOT MY ANSWER

john.looksie: WhAT THE FUCGE

Herc aderp: AND GUESS WHAT IT WAS

lyaf: YOU BECAUSE YOU ASKED AND AARONS A NICE PERSON

Herc aderp: ME BECAUSE IM BETTER AND AARON IS FAR FROM A NICE PERSON

john.looksie: We SHOULD ALL BOMBARD HIM WITH QUESTIONS

ginger.ale[x]: ON SEPERATE CHATS

lyaf: should we

Herc aderp: K

Herc aderp: THREETWOONE GO

 

 

 

 

_a.burr has started a chat with ginger.ale[x], Herc aderp, john.looksie, lyaf!_

a.burr: THE ANSWER IS N O

ginger.ale[x]: K BUT TO WHICH ONE

john.looksie: AaPAHAHAHAAA

lyaf: HUEHUE

Herc aderp: AARON WHAT ABOUT MY THIRD QUESRION

a.burr: NO WHY

a.burr: W H Y

ginger.ale[x]: HERC WHAT DID YOU ASK

a.burr: Dont you dare

Herc aderp: I asked him if he could fuck shrek would he

Herc aderp: I dont see why not

a.burr: I'm too fucking pretty for this

ginger.ale[x]: pfFFTTT HAHAHA

Herc aderp: DONT OGRE DISCRIMINATE

ginger.ale[x]: AARON HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT SCARY MOVIES

a.burr: It takes a bit for a movie to scare me

ginger.ale[x]: ,,,challenge accepted,,,

a.burr: Aren't you suppose to be driving

Herc aderp: Uber

ginger.ale[x]: Uber

a.burr: THERES UBERS IN TOWN

lyaf: AARON SHOT UP OUT OF MY LAP WTH GUYS

john.looksie: Ha HE'S MINE NOW

a.burr: ALEXANDER THERE'S UBERS??

ginger.ale[x]: YES I SCREAM

lyaf: JOHN IS HUGGING AARON AROUND THE WAIST AND KEEPING HIM IN HIS LAP WHILE AARON IS SQUIRMING IM REALLY PEEVED MY LAP RIGHTS WERE STOLEN

john.looksie: AaRON JUST LOOKS AT LAF AND SAYS IM NOT SQUIRMING IM GETTING COMFORTABLE AND SNUGGLED INTO MY NECK

lyaf: HE SMIRKED AT ME. 

ginger.ale[x]: LEBWKSHWOEUEIABAL

 

 

 

 

_ManoftheTV has added angelcake, cosplay.goddess, MadIsOn to a chat!_

ManoftheTV: K lets say

ManoftheTV: Yk

angelcake: WHAT DID YOU DO

ManoftheTV: yk

cosplay.goddess: THOMAS YOU DIDNT RUIN THIS DID YOU

cosplay.goddess: YOU LITERALLY JUST NEEDED TO JUST TRASH HIS HOUSE OKAY THATS IT

MadIsOn: Oh he trashed it smh

ManoftheTV: MADISON SHUT UP.

ManoftheTV: So 

ManoftheTV: Madison help

MadIsOn: Thomas lit his apartment on fire

cosplay.goddess: AHAHAHAHAAAA

angelcake: IM FUCKING SCREAMING RN ARE YOU KIDDING

angelcake: THOMAS WHAT THE FUCK

ManoftheTV: I DIDNT JUST LIGHT HIS APARTMENT ON FIRE OKAY WE GOT THERE WE BROKE IN I KNOCKED OVER A CANDLE SHIT HAPPENS TO BAD PEOPLE

angelcake: THOMAS HE COULDNT TOUCH US IF WE TRASHED HIS APARTMENT AND SHIT YOU LIT HIS PLACE ON FIRE

ManoftheTV: I mean i only lit his carpet on fire and doused it with his shaving cream

MadIsOn: 300% Eye roll

ManoftheTV: LISTEN BUCKO YOURE ON YOUR LAST PENNY YOU HEAR ME MADISON

cosplay.goddess: YOU LIT HIS PLACE ON FIRE IM SO HAPPY LMAOOOOO

angelcake: DID YOU AT LEAST HAVE MADISON FLIRT HIS SHIT WITH THE GAURD

ManoftheTV: Yeah -  .-

MadIsOn: The gaurd was too easy tbh

angelcake: Thomas Jefferson you had one job

ManoftheTV: Angelica Schuyler you should be thanking me

angelcake: Why

ManoftheTV: I stole ᕦ( ✧ ヮ ✧ )ᕥ

 

 

 

 

 

a.burr: THESE GUYS ARE NUTS.

Jon.BallIsLife: What happened

a.burr: Jon they're asking me inappropriate questions tell them to cease

R.Mont: He'll tell them to cease when you get off Lafayette's lap

a.burr: done

matty: Wow really

a.burr: Yeah I'm on John's lap

R.Mont: AARON BURR 


	37. Chapter 37

a.burr: Ah the dorks are here they're all picking out movies

matty: What type

Jon.BallIsLife: Sit on the floor away from everybody 

a.burr: I'm laying on the floor 

Jon.BallIsLife: Good

R.Mont: Good

a.burr: They all seem like comedies

matty: Why comedies

a.burr: I dunno they like to laugh

a.burr: Herc went off to make popcorn he says picking out a movie is too stressful

a.burr: Lemme just announce that Hercules is the one that does all the stressful things

matty: such as

a.burr: He asked me who I'd fuck outta the group

Jon.BallIsLife: R E P E N T

matty: WHAT

R.Mont: K who'd you pick

a.burr: Herc because he asked

R.Mont: K who'd you fuck

a.burr: Honestly I wanna say Lafayette he looks pretty toned

R.Mont: Nice

Jon.BallIsLife: MONTGOMERY NO

R.Mont: LISTEN YOUNG MAN IM PICKING OUT WHO TO TAKE CARE OF ONE AT A TIME OKAY

Jon.BallIsLife: Ooh smart

matty: BALAHSKAOS

a.burr: I got final vote and I said Bo Burnham's what. movie

a.burr: monty what

R.Mont: What

matty: Bo burnham

R.Mont: Bo Burnham is a little punk but man is he cute

a.burr: MONTY

R.Mont: WHAT IM JUST MAKING AN OBSERVATION

R.Mont: AARON IF YOU CAN, MARRY THE DUDE OKAY

a.burr: omfg

matty: Mr Mery how do you know about Bo Burnham

a.burr: yeah you're like 90

R.Mont: Lets destroy the stigma that im old

a.burr: cant its a Fossil

a.burr: the only remnant of it's species bc the rest of their fossils turned to dirt

matty: OH

R.Mont: When I see you I'm gonna embarrasse the fuck outta you do you hear me young man

Jon.BallIsLife: Omy

a.burr: LOVE YOU MONTY

R.Mont: YEAH SURE YOU DO

a.burr: ALL MY LOVE AND COMPASSION HEEDS TO YOU

a.burr: Gosh, this melatonin I snuck is kicking my head

R.Mont: Why did you sneak a melatonin

matty: Head

Jon.BallIsLife: dont you mean behind

a.burr: because I wanted to sleep but now i dont

a.burr: Now I can't think straight

a.burr: Herc stole my red velvet blizzard brb

R.Mont: Red Velvet Blizzard?? Let him fuckin' keep it who the hell wants a blizzard of red velvet

Jon.BallIsLife: Matty dont

matty: It's been done

R.Mont: Whats been done

a.burr: MATTY YOU SENT A SCREENSHOT OF MY POOR DADMOM BEING OBLIVIOUS TO JO H N 

a.burr: THE HECK BRO

R.Mont: WHAT DID HE DO

matty: ttyl

Jon.BallIsLife: Ya'll are so far past repenting, You need holy water

R.Mont: ILL DROWN MATTY IN HOLY WATER SQUARE UP SON

a.burr: MONTY NO

 

 

 

 

 

 

john.looksie has forwarded a photo from matty with the caption: LoL

john.looksie: AaRON YOUR OLD MAN IS FUNNY AS FUCK

a.burr: Monty is threatening Matty as we speak

ginger.ale[x]: omFGGG SHOW

a.burr has sent a photo!

lyaf: HUEHUE

Herc aderp: AW MAN THE POPCORN BURNT

ginger.ale[x]: HELL YEAH

a.burr: !!!

john.looksie: Oh no buRR DONT TELL ME YOU LIKE BURNT POPCORN

a.burr: So today was nice wasnt it

lyaf: THAT CONVERSATION TWIST

ginger.ale[x]: Was it a nice day??

a.burr: Yeah you guys are really nice

a.burr: That doesnt seem sincere because I'm typing it out, but you guys have really been nice to me and I just wanted to thank you.

a.burr: I know I'm overstaying my stay, obviously, and I'll leave as soon as tomorrow and start working again.

john.looksie: YoU ARE NOT LEAVING TOMORROW

Herc aderp: JOHN GET OFF AARON HE'S ALREADY HAVING A HARD TIME

lyaf: OUI YOU STAY UNTIL YOUR VACATION IS OVER AND YOU ARE FIT

ginger.ale[x]: YEAH YOU STAY

Herc aderp: JOHN GET OFF AARON HE'S TURNING RED

lyaf: B)

ginger.ale[x]: LYAF SMFHBDKS

john.looksie: HuRRY UP N GET THE POPCORN MOVIE IS STARTIN HOE

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_a.burr has started a chat with Jon.BallIsLife, R.Mont, matty._

**a.burr has upgraded chat to WHITE ROOM. Code is 4219.**

a.burr: okay its super late and I know you guys probably wont be up but something really nice happened and I'm typing it as quickly as i can on my phone because everybody is asleep

a.burr: but I told them

Jon.BallIsLife: What

matty: What's up

R.Mont: It's super damn late 

R.Mont: What did you tell them

a.burr: About me being transgender

a.burr: and honestly they reacted so positively, I did end up crying.

Jon.BallIsLife: Thank God

matty: That's great news! I'm so proud of you Aaron

a.burr: I know I just wanted to say that before I fall asleep

matty: Okay well you sleep it out Burr

matty: You've had a rough few days

Jon.BallIsLife: Night, Aaron

R.Mont: Night Aaron

matty: gnight aaron

a.burr: gnight

 

 

 

 

 

_R.Mont has started a chat with a.burr!_

R.Mont: I love you so much, Aaron, I'm very proud of your decision to be open. It's hard and takes bravory, something you're full off. I really am glad I have you as a son.

a.burr: I love you too, Monty. I'm super happy you're my fatherly figure, I wouldn't ask for another one. 

 

 

 

 

 

ginger.ale[x]: John wake up

ginger.ale[x]: JoHNNN

ginger.ale[x]: LAF DONT TALK JUST TEXT YOULL WAKE AARON UP

lyaf: Alex wth

lyaf: What do you need john for

ginger.ale[x]: Aaron's head is in my chest and his legs are tangled in johns 

ginger.ale[x]: I want him to wake up so i can steal aaron away and set him on a bed instead of on the floor

lyaf: Herc type on your phone

Herc aderp: Bitches why did we decide to sleep on the floor

Herc aderp: My shoulder hurts

ginger.ale[x]: Herc stop grinding into me

Herc aderp: But 

Herc aderp: But I got

lyaf: Herc tell me your kidding

ginger.ale[x]: OmygOD

ginger.ale[x]: HERC GO DEAL WITH YOURSELF

Herc aderp: UUGHH LAFFF

lyaf: NO SEX WITH AARON IN THE HOUSE

Herc aderp: THEN DONT BE LOUD SMFH

lyaf: JOHN TEXT ON YOUR PHONE

john.looksie: The fuq

john.looksie: HeRC LMAO

ginger.ale[x]: IM FUCKING SCREAMING HERC STOP

lyaf: ALEXANDER DONT BITE HIM SMFH

Herc aderp: OW YOU LIL SHIT

john.looksie: ThIS IS SO GREAT ABSKEJWJDSK

ginger.ale[x]: HERC YOURE ROCK HARD RN

Herc aderp: Maybe I have a bite kink

lyaf: WE ARE IN PUBLIC WITH AARON

john.looksie: Wake him up to sex omfg

Herc aderp: Alex I promise I'm trying

Herc aderp: hold on

ginger.ale[x]: AH

ginger.ale[x]: YOU LIKE

ginger.ale[x]: Well now it dont feel right without your bone

Herc aderp: MAKE UP YOUR MIND

lyaf: SMFH GIVE ME AARON YOU ALL ARE SINNERS

john.looksie: Aaron has a snug bug sickness like he is firmly snuggled into us

ginger.ale[x]: Snug bug sickness

lyaf: Make it a song

Herc aderp: Lads i gotta go to the shower or something this is ridiculous brb

ginger.ale[x]: Bye Hoecules

john.looksie: By hoecules

lyaf: smh

john.looksie: O Aaron's stirring

ginger.ale[x]: He checkin his phone

lyaf: I can see that

a.burr: IM ON THIS CHAT GUYS

ginger.ale[x]: FUCK


	38. Chapter 38

_ginger.ale[x] has started a chat with john.looksie and lyaf!_

ginger.ale[x]: UGHH THAT WAS SO EMBARRASSING

john.looksie: LmAO 

lyaf: Mon amour why isnt Hercules in this chat

ginger.ale[x]: So he doesnt slip outta the shower and get irritated at his phone dinging

john.looksie: So thoughtful

ginger.ale[x]: I know give me a medal

ginger.ale[x]: NO DONT START WIRH THAT

ginger.ale[x]: WE JUST TALKED ABOUT SEX AND BONERS IN FRONT OF AARON

lyaf: HUEHUE

john.looksie: HeY MAYBE HE'S CURIOUS ABOUT THEM

ginger.ale[x]: About sex and boners

lyaf: I'll show Aaron a boner

lyaf: Free of charge

john.looksie: I'll throw in sex

john.looksie: free of charge

lyaf: Oo good idea

ginger.ale[x]: YALL

ginger.ale[x]: NO

ginger.ale[x]: HOW AM I GONNA LOOK AARON IN THE EYE

john.looksie: LiKE THIS

ginger.ale[x]: JOHN STOP 

lyaf: JOHN GO

john.looksie: heh heh

ginger.ale[x]: NOW HE'S ALL FLUSTERED YOU DICK

john.looksie: TeLL ME YOU WOULDNT DO THE SAME

lyaf: I would have just held his eye sight as I rolled my hips into his

ginger.ale[x]: OH MY GOD LAF STOP

john.looksie: Fuck it let's go all out

john.looksie: Let's show him three boners

ginger.ale[x]: I NEED HERC SO BAD RN

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

a.burr: So John just

a.burr: How

matty: What'd John do

Jon.BallIsLife: John seems like a chill fellow could he possibly do

a.burr: 'Kay, well, he grabbed onto my cheeks

matty: Nice nice

a.burr: and forced me to look into his eyes

Jon.BallIsLife: Wait

a.burr: there was a small moment of staring

R.Mont: NO.

a.burr: before he pecked my lips with his

Jon.BallIsLife: john has to die

R.Mont: AARON STOP KISSING PEOPLE

a.burr: BUT IM NOT KISSING THEM THEYRE KISSING M E

matty: I ASKED JOHN N HE SAID YOLO

a.burr: IM DYING OVER HERE AND JOHN ONLY HAS TO SAY YOLO THIS IS MAHOGANY

R.Mont: AARON GO BLEACH YOUR LIPS HE DIDNT TRY TO TONGUE YOU DID HE

a.burr: NO MONTY OMF

Jon.BallIsLife: M O NTY

matty: "TONGUE YOU"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

john.looksie has sent a photo with the caption: ScREENCAP OF ME N MATTYB

john.looksie: CuRRENTLY CRYING

ginger.ale[x]: OMFFFGGG

ginger.ale[x]: "Did you just kiss aaron"

ginger.ale[x]: "Yolo"

lyaf: John istg

john.looksie: I am so glad 

john.looksie: #Proudofme

ginger.ale[x]: Oop Herc is outta the shower

ginger.ale[x] has added Herc aderp to the chat!

ginger.ale[x]: Webaa

Herc aderp: O boyo

lyaf: John come take a shower with me

john.looksie: HeCK YEAH

ginger.ale[x]: Yeah get that horny shit outta you system

Herc aderp: JOHN MY BOY DID YOU KISSED AARON

john.looksie: YeS

john.looksie: I

john.looksie: DiD

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

a.burr: I am so unprepared for this household where you get spontaneously kissed and take showers together

R.Mont: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TAKING SHOWERS WITH

a.burr: I MEANT JOHN AND LAF

a.burr: JOHN N LAF ARE TAKING A SHOWER

R.Mont: SHOWERS CODE THEYRE DOING THE MARIJUANA

matty: Omy

a.burr: MONTY NO

R.Mont: I WAS YOUNG ONCE AARON I KNOW THE CODES AND LINGOS

a.burr: OH MY GOD STOP

R.Mont: GO FIND AN ADULT AARON

a.burr: I AM AN ADULT

R.Mont: LEGALLY BUT MENTALLY YOURE MY CHILD NOW GO

a.burr: God I need a roommate who can bring some stability istg

Jon.BallisLife: I'll just move in with you

R.Mont: Finally, A man I approve

a.burr: I

Jon.BallIsLife: There you go Aaron we're set

a.burr: i

matty: I can be the dog

Jon.BallIsLife: Matty can be the dog there we go

R.Mont: And ya'll live back in New Jersey

a.burr: NO MONTY I GOT RESPONSIBILITIES

R.Mont: QUIT BEING RESPONSIBLE

 

 

 

 

 

_ginger.ale[x] has started a chat with Herc aderp!_

ginger.ale[x]: K Aaron is leaning against the couch while sitting on the floor and lets be honest what do you think would happen if I popped open the recliner

Herc aderp: OMFG

ginger.ale[x]: Should I

Herc aderp: FUCK YEAH THAT THING IS TERRIFYING IT SPRINGS UP SO FUCKING HARD AND FAST

ginger.ale[x]: Mission get Aaron flunked is a-go

Herc aderp: I'll video tape it

 

 

 

 

 

Jon.BallIsLife: So Aaron would we need to bring anything other then essentials for the weekend

a.burr: No, it'll be fine

matty: Jon dont bring your spare bible

Jon.BallIsLife: Essentials, matty

matty: what if it gets lost

Jon.BallIsLife: Spare-Mini bible

matty: that too??

Jon.BallIsLife: I have an app

R.Mont: I honest to God hope Aaron finds someone like you Jon istg he needs someone to saint him back up

matty: Aaron

matty: A saint

R.Mont: HE WAS JUST FINE BEFORE HE MOVED THERE

Jon.BallIsLife: I'll saint him back up

a.burr: I just

a.burr: my back hurts

a.burr: Alexander is straddling

a.burr: brb

R.Mont: STRADDLING W H A T

Jon.BallIsLife: NVM WERE STEALING AARON RIGHT BACK.

Jon.BallIsLife: AARON BURR THIS IS RIDICULOUS

matty: Not Dandy

a.burr: Don't worry about it, I threw him off

a.burr: Okay so should I explain

matty: Yes

Jon.BallIsLife: PREFERABLY.

R.Mont: Oh no don't worry about it

R.Mont: Yk who worries about their son

R.Mont: Not fathers

a.burr: You are SO melodramatic

a.burr: Alexander ricochet me by opening a death trap recliner on the couch that I was leaning on because he was in a playful mood

R.Mont: Once again, Alexander is a little shit

a.burr: Therefor I landed on my stomach, my phone bounced away, and Alexander straddled my lower back. I threw him off like the wrestling champion I am and got back up

matty: You suck at wrestling

a.burr: shut up matty

Jon.BallIsLife: I'm gonna fight Alexander

Jon.BallIsLife: Become the new secretary of treasury

a.burr: I dont think thats how they chose who the secretary of treasury is

matty: It is I read it on wikihow

 

 

 

 

 

ginger.ale[x]: Ya'll go get rekt I just got wrestled and Aaron touched my chest

ginger.ale[x]: #Victoryscreech

Herc aderp: Alex I really hope you're the first to get laid out of us all by Aaron

ginger.ale[x]: Herc that's literally the sweetest thing

Herc aderp: I really mean it man

Herc aderp: Hey let's go use all the hot water to get Lyaf and John

ginger.ale[x]: HELL YEAH

 

 

 

 

a.burr: ...

a.burr has sent a video!

a.burr: Do you hear that too or

matty: Why is someone screaming

Jon.BallIsLife: That's a plural scream

R.Mont: They're burning in hell like they belong

a.burr: MONTY PLEASE

a.burr: I think Alex and Herc are messing with the water while Laf and John are in there

a.burr: I should probably take a shower after them

matty: Yeah, Geesh Little Burr

a.burr: I will crucify you

Jon.BallIsLife: Little Burr, you're cute when you make threats

a.burr: mONTY

R.Mont: Stop teasing my small Burr, Jon

a.burr: I have no family 

 

 

 

 

 

_john.looksie has started a chat with lyaf, Herc aderp, and ginger.ale[x]!_

john.looksie: You dick

ginger.ale[x]: Heh

lyaf: That's my line

Herc aderp: Burr asked if he could borrow my clothes

Herc aderp: and

Herc aderp: He said it in the softest and most polite way

Herc aderp: I want to kiss him

lyaf: There is something in the air because by far everything around us is either cute to us or makes us horny

john.looksie: @Alex

ginger.ale[x]: Thanks fam

lyaf: John, you and I should go to Wal-Mart

john.looksie: Shit I forgot we need milk

john.looksie: Since sOMEONE HERE LOVES IT SO DAMN MUCH

Herc aderp: LEAVE ME A L O N E

ginger.ale[x]: LMAO

Herc aderp: Lyaf, John, Will you stop at Hobby Lobby??

lyaf: We can

Herc aderp: CAN I COME CAN I COME

ginger.ale[x]: Herc when you go to Hobby Lobby can you get me a few journals

Herc aderp: Hell yeah

john.looksie: Alex there's towels in the dryer can you get that for Aaron when he gets out of the shower so they're warm

ginger.ale[x]: Yeah

lyaf: Hercules where's the keys

Herc aderp: LETS TAKE MY CAR

john.looksie: NoO

lyaf: NO

 

 

 

 

 

 

a.burr: I'm going to take a shower, guys

Jon.BallIsLife: Text us immediately after

a.burr: What you want pics

R.Mont: Yes

a.burr: MONTY OMFG

R.Mont: IM KIDDING IM KIDDING

R.Mont: Or am I

matty: Aaron is a stud

a.burr: BYE

Jon.BallIsLife: Lmao

 

 

 

 

 

 

ginger.ale[x]: Ya'll I can hear Aaron singing

john.looksie: UgH WHY DID WE HAVE TO LEAVE BEFORE AARON TOOK A SHOWER

Herc aderp: Honestly I can feel Laf's sexual tension

Herc aderp: Let's take turns teasing him

Herc aderp: YO WHAT AARON'S SINGING

ginger.ale[x]: YES LETS FUCK WITH LAF

ginger.ale[x]: YEAH HE'S SINGING

john.looksie: WhAT IS HE SINGING

ginger.ale[x]: I don't know the song

Herc aderp: Send the words send the words

john.looksie: chants

john.looksie: send them

john.looksie: send them

ginger.ale[x]: Well Crocodile Rocking is something shocking

ginger.ale[x]: when your feet just can't keep still

ginger.ale[x]: I never knew me a better time and I guess I never will

john.looksie: That's an Elton John song

Herc aderp: Elton John who the diddly dang is that

ginger.ale[x]: Aaron's been around Geezers so long he's taken in their culture

ginger.ale[x]: OOH I JUST HEARD A THUD LMAO I THINK AARON DROPPED

john.looksie: HaHA

Herc aderp: LAF IS CACKLING

ginger.ale[x]: IMMA GO CHECK ON HIM LMAO HE'S EXCLAIMING UGH YALL DID YOU SOAP UP THE FLOOR OR WHAT

john.looksie: (B

Herc aderp: JOHN LMFAO

 

 

 

 

 

lyaf: Herc where are you

Herc aderp: THERE'S P I L L O W S

john.looksie: HeRC LMFAO

lyaf: HERCULES STOP 

Herc aderp: LETS BUY A GNOME

lyaf: THIS WAS A HORRIBLE IDEA

john.looksie: LeTS GET A BUNCH OF GNOMES FOR OUR YARD !!!

Herc aderp: I WANT THE IRISH ONE

john.looksie: HoW DO YOU KNOW ITS IRISH

Herc aderp: ITS GOT ALCOHOL

Herc aderp has sent a photo!

lyaf: You took a selfie with a gnome

john.looksie: HeRC YOU LOOK SO HAPPY AND CUTE

Herc aderp: CAN I NAME HIM ELLIOT

lyaf: Where's Alex when you need him

john.looksie: Hey where is Alex it's been like 45 minutes

Herc aderp: Aaron murdered him

john.looksie: Or Alex stabbed Aaron

john.looksie has sent a photo!

Herc aderp: THAT CREEPER FACE THO

lyaf: I never realized how much we fuck until we had to stop fucking

ginger.ale[x]: I

john.looksie: HeY ALEX WERE ADOPTING A GNOME

ginger.ale[x]: I did something really bad

Herc aderp: What did you do?

lyaf: ?

ginger.ale[x]: Okay so

ginger.ale[x]: Guys I'm so sorry it just happened okay

john.looksie: You didn't burn down the house did you

ginger.ale[x]: I think I fucked Aaron

Herc aderp: NO ELLIOT I FUCKING DROPPED HIM

lyaf: WHAT

john.looksie: WhAT


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought this would be a treat

Aaron whined, holding his breath to help keep in his whimpers of pain. His ankle and arm hurt really bad, he suspected bruising the bones.

Just my luck, Aaron thought, letting out a small moan of pain. What had he slipped on? He looked around cautiously, eyeing the soap bar on the floor. He must have stepped on that. Aaron slowly started moving, giving a loud yelp when he put his hand down to prep himself up. He quickly relaxed back down, bringing his pained hand up to gently rub it with his unharmed one. Why was it him?

Aaron curled a little bit on himself, trying to shield his eyes from the water. Everything was tedious. He took another breath in, slowly willing himself to start getting on his feet. However, the jolt of pain that went up from his ankle made him exclaim and sit right back down.

Should he call for Alex?

"Alexander?" Aaron called quizically, pausing when he heard the door creak open and squeak shut.

"Aaron? You okay, bud?" Alexander's voice was light and charming, which did brighten up Aaron's mood from the dumps he was in. Something about Alexander's presence really helped him. Hell, Aaron realized, something about being around all four of the guys made his mood significantly better.

"No," Aaron sighed in defeat, squirming to straighten up. He quickly realized his predicament, being in the shower, fully exposed if Alexander was to draw the curtains back without warning. He pressed his legs together to hide himself, searching for a wash cloth to put over his lap to help.  

"I fell and I hurt my arm and ankle." He explained and he twisted his body to look around.

"Want me to help you?" Alexander suggested, which sent a jolt of fear up Aaron's spine.

"N-No, I'm in the shower," He said, quickly rolling his eyes at how idiotic he sounded. Alexander knew very well he was under the shower. Aaron slowly scooted himself back, out from under the showers sprinkles to help make it easier to look around.

"Aaron, can you stand? I'll hand you a towel!" Alexander chirped excitedly, as though relishing in the fact that he had a shot to see Aaron even slightly naked. Aaron's cheeks burnt at the idea, suddenly ungrateful for the steam that was being created from the shower.

"I... I can't..." He said slowly, pausing when he heard fabric slip and Alexander grunt. "Alexander?" He asked nervously.

"I'm comin' in to help you, but I don't want to ruin my jeans and shirt-"

"You're coming in without clothes?" Aaron croaked, widening his eyes in terror.

"I got boxers on! It's fine, Aaron," Alexander scoffed at him, giving Aaron a few moments and pulled the shower curtains back just a tad to let himself in. Aaron couldn't help it, he curled his legs up and jumped in surprise when pain jolted his body again. 

"Ah..." Aaron whined, looking away nervously when Alexander knelt down in front of him and gently touched his aching ankle. "Don't." Aaron hissed when he squeezed, swatting his hand away with the reflexes of a cat. 

 _God, Please tell me why I had to be caught by Alexander of all people without any clothes on?_ Aaron thought pleadingly.

"How bad does it hurt?" Alexander asked, sounding genuinly concerned. 

 _God bless him!_ Aaron breathed.

"I think it's just a bruised bone..." He brushed off, pausing when he looked back up and locked eyes with Alexander.

His eyes looked curious, but also soft and generous. As though he wanted to study Aaron like a book, but was too polite to do so without his permission. Aaron shifted, the steam of the shower making his skin unbearably hot and wet. He almost felt compelled by the way Alexander was staring at him to full-out say, _Just do what you want with me._

Alexander batted his eyes, catching Aaron off-guard enough to make him blush darkly and jerk his attention away. Without realizing, he slipped his legs apart a bit and gave Alexander a little leeway to slip between them- which he took without hesitation. When his thighs started getting stretched out from each other, Aaron had no choice but to force himself to look back and raise a hand to press against Alexander's chest. He was leaning into him, but made sure to keep from touching Aaron's groin, which he was grateful for.

 _How far can I let this go?_ Aaron thought, shivering despite the overabundance of heat when Alexander scooted in close enough to have their faces inches apart.

"Aaron," Alexander prompted quietly.

"'Ander." Aaron said back, voice losing it's volume. He licked his lips, watching Alexander very obviously fight to keep his body controlled and eyes from straying.

"You haven't stopped me," Alexander said slowly, carefully. Aaron suspected it was because Alexander knew he liked to resort to his lawyer abilities.

"What will you do for me to stop?" Aaron said back just as evenly, enlightened by the gleam of challenge and excitement in Alexander's blue eyes. Aaron loved seeing that brightened ocean blue he owned, it felt welcoming and calming.

"This?" Alexander hummed, leaning forward. Aaron's heart jumped in his chest, and he made small, snail-slow inches forward to connect with Alexander. However, last-second, Alexander pauses and Aaron swears, they held the most heated stare he's endured yet.

"You haven't stopped me." Alexander repeated quietly, seemingly anxious and yet... excited. Aaron could sympathize. 

"Do you want me to?" Aaron asked quietly, slowly leaning back but jumped in surprise when a hand held the back of his neck.

"No." Alexander said quickly. As short as that, Aaron's lips were being pressed into. Alexander's kiss had Aaron arching, every nip and suck he gave out seemed to boggle his mind and he couldn't pull back for air when he wanted to because of the hand that possessively cupped around his neck, pulling him into the kiss to help smash their lips together.

"'Ander," Aaron gasped out, trying to relax his mind. He was spinning. Everything about this was wrong, he knew it. He was still weak and frail-minded from the drug James had given him, Alexander had an exclusive relationship with a bunch of amazing men, and he wasn't doing a thing to stop this. Aaron kicked himself for being so submissive and careless, but the kiss was so painfully blissful he couldn't help it.

By the time he was brought back, Aaron realized that he was on his back and pressing his hips into Alexander's. Their hips seemed to melt perfectly, especially with the way Alexander's dick felt against him with the cloth working as wet friction.

"Alex," Aaron groaned out, twisting his head to part the kiss and gasp for air.

"You're so cute," Alexander whispered into his neck, "Everybody thinks so,"

"It's a curse," Aaron said back evenly, arching into the man when he rolled his hips just right and rubbed against his clit.

"Please," He wheezed, squirming.

"What?" Alexander asked, sounding genuinely surprised and pulled back to look at Aaron head-on.

"I don't- Ugh," Aaron looked down to where their hips connected, chewing his own lip and grinded up. Alexander felt really hard, just enough solidity to rub himself with. "Please..." Aaron whined. 

"Oh- _Oh!"_ Alexander started, quickly shifting his hips in just the right angle to send Aaron up the wall. How could he not know about the magic of sexual pleasure? He moaned quietly, wanting to squirm and thrust his hips up. He almost wanted to beg Alexander to fuck him into the ground. 

 _Why haven't I experimented with this before?_ Aaron thought, jumping when Alexander slipped his hands down and started tracing the scars on his chest. Instantly, he felt insecure and quickly squeezed his eyes shut. 

"When did you...?" Alexander asked curiously. 

"18." Aaron answered, jerking when Alexander brushed a thumb around his nipple. 

"You're so beautiful." Alexander said in raw awe, leaning down to kiss up and down his neck. Their hips were working feriously together, causing streaks of pleasure to blaze through Aaron's nerves, which got stronger with every grind they gave. 

"Please," Aaron pleaded out, gasping and moaning straight into Alexander's ear. 

"Tell me what you want," Alexander whispered, groaning every time Aaron rocked his hips up in the right manner. 

"I-I don't..." Aaron thought on his toes, taking a sharp jerk of air, "Alexander, please... it feels so good,"

"Do you want me to make it feel better?" Aexander whispered. 

"N-No, don't stop, I love this," Aaron whined. He was satisfied with what Alexander was giving him. It was more then he's ever felt before, he was sure he wouldn't be able to handle more of it. 

"God, you're so hot," Alexander groaned before locking lips onto his.

Aaron couldn't handle any more of the mind spinning pleasure. His hips were aching a bit and the way Alexander was rubbing into him was starting to jolt him. When his first orgasm hit, it made him cry out into the kiss and arch violently.

He couldn't help it, he started mumbling strings of curses into the kiss. Not only did that help Alexander in his own moral pleasure, but it was apparently enough to make him come and buck his hips a little painfully against Aaron's groin. 

As they laid there, panting, Aaron whimpered and slowly opened his eyes. Alexander looked like a heated mess, hair clinging to his skin and eyes darkened with the aftershock of pleasure. 

"I still can't move." Aaron mumbled, earning a small chuckle from Alexander. The Secretary of Treasury leaned down, connecting his lips with his to start a slow, passionate kiss. He loved this, the pressing of their bodies and the bless of their kiss. It felt like they could lay here, connected like puzzle pieces, for hours.

However, his high was slightly disturbed by the terrifying reminder that he just had some type of sex with a man he knew was taken. By three other men.  


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short, just a forewarning

_a.burr has started a chat with cosplay.goddess!_

a.burr: Maria, I was wondering if you could spare a moment to talk to me again about some difficulties that, now instead of dealing with the Flamboyant police and Comedian judge, deal with the Comedian judge and the Jury. It's understandable if you don't have time to talk to me with everything that's occurring. However, I strongly implore that you talk to me because you're helpful and I have no experience in this specific situation.

cosplay.goddess: HOLY SHIT STEWART WE HAVENT TALKED IN FOREVER

a.burr: It's been three days

cosplay.goddess: Don't sass me

cosplay.goddess: Wait a second Aaron what happen what do you need help with that i have experience with

a.burr: Okay well

a.burr: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply that you had experience with this. It's just that you have at least minor experience with this specific topic and I'm at a lost for it. As much as I hate to admit.

cosplay.goddess: Tell Stewart

a.burr: I think I had a form of sex with Alexander, but, I'm unsure

cosplay.goddess: YOURE UNSURE BECAUSE YOURE A VIRGIN OMGOMG

cosplay.goddess: OR WAS HAHHAH

cosplay.goddess: WAIT A SECOND YOU FUCKED ALEX

a.burr: Maria, I don't know what I did

a.burr: We kind of started kissing and... then we were grinding our hips into each other and it kind-of...

cosplay.goddess: YOURE SO OBVIOUSLY UNCOMFORTABLE AND FLUSTERED TYPING THIS OUT OMGOMG I LOVE LOOOVEE

cosplay.goddess: TELL ME EVERYTHING AARON

a.burr: It's embarrassing

cosplay.goddess: Wait can I add Angel

a.burr: NO

cosplay.goddess: PLEASE AARON SHE'S A LOT BETTER AT THIS THAN ME SHE FUCKED THOMAS THAT TAKES COURAGE TO BOUNCE BACK FROM

a.burr: SHE DID W H A T

cosplay.goddess has added angelcake to the chat!

angelcake: MARIA WTH YOU JUST?? TOLD AARON??

angelcake: WHAT THE FUCK DUDE

cosplay.goddess: ANGEL AARON NEEDS TO KNOW WE WONT JUDGE HIM OKAY SCROLL UP

a.burr: NOTHING ABOUT THIS WAS CONSENSUAL.

angelcake: OH MY GOD BURR OMGOMG THATS SO ADORABLE TELL ME WHAT HAPPEN

a.burr: NO

cosplay.goddess: I LOVE HOW YOU JUST DROPPED YOUR FORMAL TEXT

a.burr: IM GONNA GO GOOGLE MY PROBLEMS

cosplay.goddess: CMON BURR PLEASE TELL US

angelcake: I WONT TELL ANYONE WE'LL HELP YOU AS BEST AS WE CAN

a.burr: ,,, okay

a.burr: But... but you can't tell

angelcake: Not a word

cosplay.goddess: Promise

a.burr: Before I touch that, i just realized something

a.burr: Maria how did you know I was a virgin

cosplay.goddess: Oh, easy, Angelica and I snooped in your phone

a.burr: WHAT

angelcake: MARIA

 

 

 

 

  
ginger.ale[x]: Okay just let me explain before things get too wild, I'll tell everything, I promise

lyaf: nodnod

john.looksie: Okay

Herc aderp: You fucking killed Elliot

john.looksie: Herc pls

ginger.ale[x]: When Aaron slipped in the water, I set my phone down and go to help. I heard him call my name by the time I open the door, so I'm thinking this is a little funny because the guy just tripped in a bathtub lets be honest it's funny

ginger.ale[x]: Burr's hurt his arm and ankle, btw nothing major he has a few bruises and is very sore

ginger.ale[x]: So after trying some other options that sadly included Aaron moving and putting strain on the hurt parts of his body, I kind-of... decided to be... dumb and...

ginger.ale[x]: Look, I'm just glad Burr didn't chew me out for being so obvious but, I took off my shirt and jeans because I was going to go under the shower with him

ginger.ale[x]: Let me clarify I knew very well he was naked and I was just one strip of clothing from being naked, you're seeing what I'm doing, you guys have been my boyfriends for a while now

john.looksie: He TRYNA FUCK

ginger.ale[x]: Yes I'm tryna fuck

john.looksie: WoOOP

lyaf: And you did?

ginger.ale[x]: Not exactly

john.looksie: What

ginger.ale[x]: Burr and I somehow ended up kissing and

ginger.ale[x]: okay no I took advantage of him opening his legs and basically slammed my face into his

lyaf: alex why

ginger.ale[x]: Something about the way he was purely helpless and unable to really move got me okay I admit it I'm a monster

john.looksie: So you're into helplessness

ginger.ale[x]: dont u dare kinkshame me

lyaf: Kinkshaming

ginger.ale[x]: LYAF CMON

ginger.ale[x]: Are you guys... mad at me?

ginger.ale[x]: I kind of... just...

john.looksie: NoNONO NO WE ALL HAVE A COMMON GOAL THATS TO DRAG AARON INTO OUR RELATIONSHIP, ALEX

john.looksie: Granted a little text of forewarning to your plants would have been nice

lyaf: No, Alexander, I'm not angry with you

Herc aderp: I'm pissed

ginger.ale[x]: Herc you said you wanted me to be the first to fuck burr

Herc aderp: YOU KILLED ELLIOT YOU HORNY MONSTER

lyaf: HERC

john.looksie: HaHAHAAHAAA


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOO its been a while sorry guys  
> Maybe reread the last chapter and then go to this one to get back into the mood

a.burr: You snooped through my PHONE

cosplay.goddess: WELL I MEAN YEah

angelcake: MARIA STFU

angelcake: WE'RE SORRY AARON

a.burr: THERE'S NOTHING ON HERE WHY

angelcake: I mean the conversations you have with your dad and friends are funny

cosplay.goddess: Hashtag no regrets

a.burr: Maria I will fight

cosplay.goddess: COME AT ME BRO

a.burr: ILL GIVE YOU A POUND SIGN

angelcake: You guys are such MEMES istg

a.burr: Yeah but

a.burr: AFtBSKSBSOSH

cosplay.goddess: sosh

cosplay.goddess: smosh

cosplay.goddess: he speaks??

a.burr has sent a photo!

cosplay.goddess: OH WHAT THE FUCK

a.burr: WHAT YHE FUCKING DHDISB FUCK!!

cosplay.goddess: HELLL NAH

angelcake: ITS A PLATE WITH LEGS

 

 

 

 

ginger.ale[x]: AARON IS SCREAMING

Herc aderp: WHY

ginger.ale[x]: I DONT KNOW BUT HE'S YELLING MY NAME LIKE HE'S BEING STABBED

john.looksie: Go H E L P HIM

lyaf: You hear him screaming and you just stand there

Herc aderp: He's fantasizing

john.looksie: Me too tbh

ginger.ale[x]: AHHHH WHAT THE FUUCKK

ginger.ale[x] has sent a video!

Herc aderp: OH MY GG G O ODDDD

john.looksie: WhAT IS IT I ONLY HEAR YOU AND AARON'S SCREAMING

john.looksie: LyAF LOOKS SO SHOOK WHAT IS-

john.looksie: WhAT THE FUCKING SHIT

Herc aderp: WHAT THE FUCUCCKCKCK!!!!

lyaf: NOPE NOPE BYE JE NE FAIS PAS CETTE MISE AU POINT DE SORTIR VENEZ A ARTICA FUCK THIS

ginger.ale[x]: I FUCKING REFUSE

ginger.ale[x]: AARON AND I ARE HIDING ON THE COUCH

ginger.ale[x] has added a.burr to the chat!

a.burr: I WANT OUT. 

john.looksie: BuRR NO

a.burr: I WANT TO LEAVE

lyaf: THAT FUCKER IS THE SIZE OF JOHN'S HEAD WERE ALL MOVING

Herc aderp: KILL IT WITH MY SHOE

ginger.ale[x]: DO SPIDERS HISS BC WHEN I THREW MY SHOE IT CUCKING HISSED

a.burr: THAT IS NO SPIDER THAT IS A DEMON

a.burr: I WANT JON BUT I HAVE ALEX

ginger.ale[x]: FAM WERE IN THIS TOGETHER NOW DUCK LOW AND KEEP QUIET

john.looksie: Were all in this together

Herc aderp: JOHN THERE IS A SPIDER IN THE FUCKING KITCHEN AND YOU HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL THIS SHIT

john.looksie: We GOTTA WORK

john.looksie: WoRK

john.looksie: WoRK THIS OUT

a.burr: FUCK YOU JOHN

john.looksie: Im FUCKING SCREAMING

ginger.ale[x]: WERE SCREAMING THAT SPIDERS GONNA STEAL MY GODDAMN FRIDGE

lyaf: I'm booking us tickets to China

a.burr: ALEX I LOOKED OVER THE COUCH AND ITS COMING IN THE LIVING ROOM WHAT DO WE DO

ginger.ale[x]: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU LOOK OVER THE COUCH FOR

a.burr: ALEX HIT ME

ginger.ale[x]: NOW IT SAW US YOU FUCK

john.looksie: I HAVE STOLEN LAFS PHONE AND WERE RUNNING TO THE CAR

Herc aderp: ILL JUST STAY HERE WITH MY GNOMES

john.looksie: HeRCULES MULLIGAN

Herc aderp: YES SIR AT THE CAR SIR

a.burr: I DONT WANNA DIE

a.burr: yet

ginger.ale[x]: THE FUCK YOU MEAN YET

a.burr: IMMA DIE AT THE AGE 102 AND IN A COFFEE SHOP WBY FAM

ginger.ale[x]: I hope the spider demon eats you first

a.burr: BYE

ginger.ale[x]: LAFAYETTE AARON JUST SHOVED ME OFF THE COUCH OMFGOMFGOMFG

ginger.ale[x]: YOU THINK THIS A GAME AARON

a.burr: EVERYMAN FOR HIMSELF

ginger.ale[x]: YOU FUCK

john.looksie: Im SCREAMING GUYS WHERE IS THE SPIDER

a.burr: ITS JUST SITTING THERE IN THE DOORWAY OF THE KITCHEN

a.burr: Maybe it wants to be pet

ginger.ale[x]: Are you serious

a.burr: It looks sad

ginger.ale[x]: AARON BURR

a.burr: LOOK AT IT ALEXANDER STOP BEIN A FRUITCUP

Herc aderp: AHAHAHAHAHAHAAA

john.looksie: Im FUCKING SCREAMING


	42. Chapter 42

ginger.ale[x]: AARON STOP TAKING PICTURES AND MAKING NOISE SMFH

a.burr has sent a photo!

a.burr has sent a video!

a.burr: LOOK LOOK LOOK

john.looksie: AhH ITS SO GROSS

a.burr: NO IT IS NOT ITS DANCING

Herc aderp: TF is it dancing for

Herc aderp: It looks fat

a.burr: Ya'll rude af??

ginger.ale[x]: LYAF GET HERE AND KILL IT.

a.burr: Why can't we just set it outside?

john.looksie: YoU CRAZY ITLL COME BACK

a.burr: I DONT WANT IT TO DIE

Herc aderp: AARON ISTG

a.burr: HE'S SO CUTE LOOK

a.burr has sent a video!

john.looksie: ItS JUST CRAB DANCING AND WAVING ITS ARMS I CANT RN WHAT IS IT DOING

a.burr: Giving me Dinner and a Show

ginger.ale[x]: You are it's dinner smfh

Herc aderp: AHAHAHHA

a.burr: LOOK AT HIM HE'S JUST PLAYFUL

ginger.ale[x] has added cosplay.goddess and angelcake!

ginger.ale[x]: TALK SENSE INTO THE MAN

cosplay.goddess: Seriously if you dont stop interrupting me during sex istg

a.burr: ,,,

cosplay.goddess: I MEAN DURING TAX I WAS DOING MY TAXES

angelcake: Smfh

angelcake: What

angelcake: OMGOMG IS THAT SPIDER DANCING

a.burr: LOOK AT HIM GO

angelcake: THATS? WHY IS HE DANCING

a.burr: I DUNNO

ginger.ale[x]: AARON SHUT THE FUCK UP STOP TALKING TO IT

a.burr: HIS NAME IS STEPHEN WEBB LEAVE HIM ALONE

ginger.ale[x]: YOU FUCKING NAMED IT

john.looksie: StE P H E N W E BB I CANT

cosplay.goddess: AARON LMFAO

angelcake: AARON BABY I THINK IT'S DANCING FOR YOU

a.burr: I WANT TO PET HIM BUT ALEXANDER WONT LET GO OF MY WAIST

Herc aderp: ALEXANDER YOU HOE

ginger.ale[x]: IF I LET GO AARONS GOING TO GET SPIDER EATEN

lyaf: WERE HERE WITH STICKS WE ARE GONNA KILL IT

a.burr: Where did you get sticks

a.burr: NO DONT KILL IT

ginger.ale[x]: AARON KICKED ME OFF HIM

cosplay.goddess: RUN FORREST RUN

angelcake: WHAT IS GOING ON

Herc aderp: AHAHAHAHAA

Herc aderp: AARON'S STANDING INFRONT OF THE SPIDER AND THREW HIS PHONE AT JOHN WHEN HE CAME AT HIM TO PULL HIM AWAY I CANT RN

Herc aderp has added ManoftheTV and J.MadIsOn to the chat!

ManoftheTV: What

ManoftheTV: WHAT

J.MadIsOn: I'm sorry why are we here

angelcake: YOU JUST ADDED THESE TWO TO SEE THIS??

Herc aderp: AARON IS HISSING AT ALEX AND JOHN I CANT

ManoftheTV: Ya'll better tell me you bought a cat and named it Aaron

cosplay.goddess: MY STOMACH HUURRRTTSS

Herc aderp has sent a video!

angelcake: "FUCK OFF SPIDER FUCK"

angelcake: JOHN I C A N T 

cosplay.goddess: THE ONLY ONE FUCKING OFF SHOULD BE YOU OMFGOMFG GO AARON OMGG

ManoftheTV: WHAT THE HELL IS THAT BY HIS LEG

J.MadIsOn: Is that screaming in the background

Herc aderp: LAF IS HOLDING AN EXPENSIVE SCARF AND SCREAMING INTO IT

Herc aderp: HE CANT RN

Herc aderp: AHH THE SPIDER IS GOING UP AARONS LEG THE ONLY ONE TOUCHING THAT SHOULD BE ME

Herc aderp: It got so dead silent no one is moving

cosplay.goddess: IS AARON OKAY

Herc aderp: We're watching in horror

ginger.ale[x]: Aaron's tensing

ManoftheTV: HEL P H I M??

J.MadIsOn: Frying pan

ginger.ale[x]: HE WANTED TO PROTECT IT HE DEALS WITH IT

ManoftheTV: ALEXANDER YOU FUCKING HELP HIM RIGHT NOW OR ELSE ILL LOCK YOU IN A ROOM WITH A CAMEL SPIDER AND DONT THINK I W O N T

ginger.ale[x]: HERC GET THE FRYING PAN

Herc aderp: ITS IN THE KITCHEN AARONS NOT MOVING

john.looksie: ItS ON HIS HIP

john.looksie: LyAF IS SERIOUSLY CRYING H E L P

Herc aderp: AARON DONT MOVE

Herc aderp: Shit i forgot he's right infront of me

cosplay.goddess: I CANT RN WITH YOU HERC

ginger.ale[x]: AARON JUST DID THE MOST BAD ASS THING

ginger.ale[x]: HE SCOOPED THE SPIDER UP IN HIS HAND AND SLOWLY SET IT BACK ON THE GROUND BETWEEN HIS LEGS

ginger.ale[x]: This lil shit just went "See. Friendly."

john.looksie: I SHIT YOU NOT RN THAT SPIDER JUST CLICKED AT ME

ManoftheTV: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON 


	43. Chapter 43

ginger.ale[x]: OKAY AARONS GOING TO SET THE SPIDER WAAAY OUT BACK

a.burr: HE'S FOLLOWING ME

cosplay.goddess: THIS IS CRAZY LIKE IF A DOG LIKES YOU YOU'RE A GOOD PERSON IF A CAT LIKES YOU YOURE GOD BUT IF A  S P I D E R  LIKES YOU??

ginger.ale[x]: You're a Lil shit

cosplay.goddess: ALEX ISTG

a.burr: Stephen is my new best friend

a.burr: He's literally the cutest thing I've ever seen

john.looksie: A spider kicked my ass in cuteness smfh

a.burr: Herc is a close second

Herc aderp: HA YOU LIL SHITS

angelcake: LMFAO

ginger.ale[x]: SMH AARON JUST GET RID OF IT

lyaf: He's kneeling down next to it

lyaf: Aaron are you taking a selfie

a.burr: Of course not

a.burr: HE'S CLIMBING MY ARM AHH HIS LEGS ARE FURRY

angelcake: I CANT RN

cosplay.goddess: "HIS LEGS ARE FURRY"

ginger.ale[x]: AARON B U R R 

lyaf: AARON GET THAT BEAST OFF YOUR SHOULDER

Herc aderp: THIS IS FUCKIN LEGIT

a.burr: BRB GONNA ASK MONTY TO KEEP IT

ginger.ale[x]: NO

john.looksie: NoO

Herc aderp: YES

john.looksie: HeRCULES

Herc aderp: NO

lyaf: NON NON NON NON NON !!!!

john.looksie: You want to KEEP THAT FUCKER

J.MadIsOn: How much can someone love spiders

 

 

 

 

a.burr has sent a photo!

a.burr: MONTY LOOK

R.Mont: The hell is on the side of your face

matty: is that

Jon.BallIsLife: AARON WTH

a.burr: HIS NAME IS STEPHEN CAN I KEEP HIM

R.Mont: THAT'S A DAMN TARANTULA

a.burr: HE'S SO NICE

R.Mont: NO ARE YOU CRAZY PUT HIM DOWN THIS INSTANT YOUNG MAN THAT TARANTULA IS CONTENT WHERE HE IS

a.burr: WHICH IS ON MY HEAD

a.burr: Did he just web me

a.burr has sent a photo!

matty: AARON WELL GET YOU A DOG PUT THE TARANTULA DOWN

Jon.BallIsLife: I'm going to church to pray for you

R.Mont: AARON YOU LIKE DOGS WE'LL GET YOU A DOG PUT THE SPIDER DOWN

a.burr: LOOK AT HIM MONTY HE DESERVES A BETTER LIFE

R.Mont: AARON BURR PUT HIM DOWN ISTG

a.burr: UGGHHH

 

 

 

 

a.burr: UGH he said no

lyaf: GOOD

ginger.ale[x]: Put StephEN DOWN NOW

a.burr: I AM I AM

Herc aderp: Lmao Laf is just staring at Aaron through the backdoor like a hawk

john.looksie: He's getting ready to swoop

ginger.ale[x]: Hey where the fuck is Jefferson he hasn't spoken in a while

J.MadIsOn: He's doing some work at the moment

ginger.ale[x]: for the first time in forever

a.burr: Okay I'm walking back

lyaf: Where's the spider

a.burr: He's not following me because i set him behind a bush so he can't see me

lyaf: THANK GOD

a.burr: LYAF WYD

john.looksie: AhH LYAF JUST RAN AT AARON AND PICKED HIM UP AND RAN INTO THE HOUSE

lyaf: IM CLEANING AARON UP.

Herc aderp: AARON IS SCREAMING

ginger.ale[x]: AHAHAHAAAA

a.burr: MARIA HELP ME

cosplay.goddess: LMFAAOOOO NO FAM HAVE FUN

lyaf: MARIA THERE IS SPIDERWEBS ON AARONS SHOULDER TO HIS HEAD

angelcake: WHY

a.burr: BECAUSE HE WEBBED ME

Herc aderp: LYAF JUST SCREAMED IM CRYING AARON BBY YOURE ON YOUR OWN

a.burr: HELP M E

 

 

 

 

_ginger.ale[x] has started a chat with Herc aderp and john.looksie!_

ginger.ale[x]: omgg it's been thirty minutes and you can still hear Aaron squealing

john.looksie: GoOD TBH CLEAN HIM UP

Herc aderp: O shit boi I forgot

ginger.ale[x]: What

Herc aderp: Should we talk to Aaron about what happened in the shower

ginger.ale[x]: Oh shit

john.looksie: That spider fiasco made me forget shit

ginger.ale[x]: If we do, should we wait or do it now?

Herc aderp: Wouldn't waiting make it worst?

john.looksie: This could finally be the damn day we drag Aaron into this

ginger.ale[x]: Hold on lemme add lyaf

ginger.ale[x] has added lyaf to the chat!

john.looksie: Hi babe hows Aaron

lyaf: Still full of sin

Herc aderp: LMAO

ginger.ale[x]: Scroll up lyaf

lyaf: Oh

lyaf: Well, Aaron seems like he's a little bit on edge so maybe waiting won't be a good idea

lyaf: It could bump up his anxiety with us

Herc aderp: So... tonight?

john.looksie: Who's gonna be the lead talker

lyaf: The guy who got us in the mess

ginger.ale[x]: ,,, Dammit...


	44. Chapter 44

_ginger.ale[x] has started a chat with angelcake and cosplay.goddess!_

ginger.ale[x]: GUYS GUYS GUYS

ginger.ale[x]: Wait are you fuckin

cosplay.goddess: FOR ONCE NAH

angelcake: We're watching Kitchen Nightmares

ginger.ale[x]: I'm behind on that in netflix

cosplay.goddess: K so like never eat at a Restaurant that has nice waiters is what I'm getting from this show

ginger.ale[x]: GUYS GUYS GUYS

angelcake: WAT FAM

ginger.ale[x]: WE DID IT

ginger.ale[x]: SORT OF

cosplay.goddess: WHAT DID YOU SORT OF DO??

ginger.ale[x]: OKAY SO I GRINDED AARON INTO OBLIVION IN THE SHOWER AND SUCH

angelcake: IM SORRY WHAT

ginger.ale[x]: WE ORGASMED IT WAS GREAT

cosplay.goddess: OOOOHHHHH BABY AARON THATS WHAT HE WAS TRYING TO ASK ME ABOUT

cosplay.goddess: LOL CUTE STEWART COUNTING THAT AS SEX

angelcake: LMFAO

ginger.ale[x]: SHEISHDS SHSUSH

ginger.ale[x]: SO OBVIOUSLY YK WE NEEDED TO TALK BECAUSE HE'S PROBABLY WORRIED ABOUT MY BOYFRIENDS RIGHT SO WE TALKED

ginger.ale[x]: AND THATS WHEN WE TOLD HIM ABOUT HOW WE WERE INTERESTED AND SUCH AND AARON LOOKED SO CONFUSED AND SURPRISED

ginger.ale[x]:  AT LEAST I THINK THE GUY HAS A TOP NOTCH SECURITY ON HIS FACIAL EXPRESSIONS ITS HARD TO TELL NOW THAT IM AROUND HIM MORE

angelcake: Boy doesn't know how good lookin he is istg

cosplay.goddess: But really when do they

angelcake: I know I'm fuckin hot

cosplay.goddess: LMAO

ginger.ale[x]: GUUYYYSSSZZ AARON SAID HE'D "BE OPEN ENOUGH TO TRY IT"

angelcake: WHAT

cosplay.goddess: YOU FUCKING DID IT

cosplay.goddess: AHHHHH

angelcake: MARIA STOP THE COUCH IS ROCKING

cosplay.goddess: HE FOCKING DID IT ANGEL

ginger.ale[x]: ARENT YOU GUYS RIGHT BESIDE EACH OTHER

cosplay.goddess: VICTORY SEX

ginger.ale[x]: What

ginger.ale[x]: NO STAY WITH ME IM LONELY

ginger.ale[x]: I WAS SENT OUT SO LYAF JOHN AND HERC CAN HAVE A THREE ON ONE WITH AARON BC APPARENTLY I SOAK UP THE ATTENTION

ginger.ale[x]: They aint wrong BUT FUCK THEM I WORKED HARD

ginger.ale[x]: Guys

ginger.ale[x]: GUYS PLEASE

ginger.ale[x]: CMON MAN


	45. Chapter 45

a.burr: Good afternoon Maria can I talk to you

cosplay.goddess: Yes

a.burr: ... you already know

cosplay.goddess: I ALREADY K N O W

a.burr: THEYVE MADE A DEAL, MARIA, I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO

cosplay.goddess: Wait what

cosplay.goddess: What deal

a.burr: If one guy kisses my cheek, everybody else kisses my cheek. It's an unspoken, understood deal that they're abusing and I'm getting flustered

cosplay.goddess: AAWW

cosplay.goddess: Wait you're not feeling bad about that right?

a.burr: No, It's fine, I just don't know how to deal with it

a.burr: I don't kiss a lot, I've never had a boyfriend or even a girlfriend

a.burr: I'm nervous and I haven't told Monty, Matty, or Jon about it and

a.burr: I can't tell them; They'll attack

cosplay.goddess: It's okay! It's okay not to tell anybody about your new relationship the first few weeks in

cosplay.goddess: It's how some people test to see if it'll last, It's okay Aaron, and I'm sure Monty, Jonny, and Matt will accept them

cosplay.goddess: Sooner or later

a.burr: Sooner or later

cosplay.goddess: HEY DID YOU FUCK LYAF HERC AND JOHN AT THE SAME TIME?? LIKE GO YOU DUDE THATS A HUGE STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE

a.burr: NO I DIDNT SEX ANYBODY

a.burr: We just talked and settled things

cosplay.goddess: "Settled things"

a.burr: Lyaf was concerned over my comfortability with it

a.burr: Herc wanted to know if it was okay to be romantic in public

a.burr: John pressed me for details on sex positions

cosplay.goddess: YEAH GO JOHN ME TOO TBH WHAT YOU LIKE BURR

a.burr: IM A VIRGIN.

cosplay.goddess: HURRY UP AND LOSE IT YOU HAVE FOUR PEOPLE WILLING

a.burr: IM SCREAMING.

a.burr: Monty is texting me

cosplay.goddess: OooooOOO

 

 

 

 

a.burr: Monty?

R.Mont: AARON GUESS WHO ASKED ME IF HE COULD COME WITH US TO SEE YOU

a.burr: MONTY YOU'RE CAPSING

a.burr: WAIT WHO

R.Mont: JACQUES MARCUS PREVOST

a.burr: .

a.burr: what

R.Mont: YOURE LIL BOY CRUSH IS COMING TO VISIT

a.burr: THAT WAS THREE YEARS AGO 

a.burr: WHY IS HE COMING

R.Mont: RUMOR HAS IT HE'S BEEN MISSING YOU

a.burr: W H A T

a.burr: YOU 

a.burr: YOU LET HIM COME

R.Mont: YES I AM YOU GET A MAN I APPROVE

a.burr: THAT'S THEO'S OLDER BROTHER I CANT JUST

R.Mont: YES YOU CAN ITS HAPPENING WEAR SOMETHING NICE TOMORROW AFTERNOON

a.burr: M O N T Y WAIT I

R.Mont has left the chat!

a.burr: MONTY

a.burr: Oh no

 

 

 

 

ginger.ale[x]: Man Aaron's been acting nervous today

Herc aderp: It's not because of us is it??

john.looksie: Ask?

ginger.ale[x]: He's staring at his phone rn but not doing anything

ginger.ale[x]: He looks jittery

lyaf: What do we do

Herc aderp: KISS TRAIN

john.looksie: HeRC NO LMAO

ginger.ale[x]: LMAO HERC

lyaf: WHAT HAPPEN IM IN THE GARDEN

ginger.ale[x]: HERC GRABBED AARON BY HIS SIDES AND SCARED HIM THEN KISSED HIS CHEEK 

ginger.ale[x]: Aw Aaron looks kinda relieved 

john.looksie: Alex imma sit on yo lap k Herc and Aaron look like they're having a moment

lyaf: Adorable

john.looksie: Herc and Aaron goals

ginger.ale[x]: We're a buncho spies

john.looksie: LoOK AT EM AARON IS LETTING HERC HUG HIM FROM BEHIND WHILE HE STARES AT HIS PHONE

ginger.ale[x]: Aaron's been staring at that phone for a long time now

lyaf: Take it away?

lyaf: Did something happen?

john.looksie: I'm sure Herc will tell us or something if they go through it

ginger.ale[x]: I'm worried

ginger.ale[x]: Y'know I've been looking up drugs and everything and... whatever Aaron got could still be in his system, and it could come up at any given point

ginger.ale[x]: What if he gets ill again

john.looksie: He'll be fine, Alex, and we'll be there for him!

lyaf: John's right, If you spend enough time on the internet, you'll convince yourself you have cancer

lyaf: and we're here with Aaron for the most part, he isn't leaving anytime soon

Herc aderp: Aaron wants to go back to his apartment

ginger.ale[x]: WHAT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I write the few chapters Monty and the gang come over? Or should I keep it a text?


	46. Chapter 46

R.Mont: YES YOU CAN ITS HAPPENING WEAR SOMETHING NICE TOMORROW AFTERNOON

a.burr: M O N T Y WAIT I

R.Mont has left the chat!

a.burr: MONTY

a.burr: Oh no

 

 

 

Aaron stared at his phone, eyes scanning the black screen hopefully. He was waiting for a message to pop up, preferably from Montgomery saying something along the lines of  _Jacques couldn't seem to come, scratch that!_ However, Aaron knew the possibility of that happening was slim, but he continued to hope. He didn't want the weight of Montgomery wanting him to get along with someone- especially now that he was in a relationship. 

Aaron's stomach coiled in disgust with himself, contemplating the scenarios that could happen; he acts too friendly with Jacques and looses his current relationship or he acts too unfriendly and offends Jacques- not to mention let's down Montgomery. His eyebrow twitched and he hurried to brush off his slight irritation about Montgomery forcing him into such a situation. He couldn't have known that he was already in a relationship- hell, Montgomery didn't even know he was drugged and cornered by James Reynolds. Aaron quickly jumped off the topic, deciding that if he even spent a second more on the idea of James Reynolds, he'd end up getting angry and snapping at someone. 

He didn't want to tell Alexander, Lafayette, John, or Hercules about not telling Montgomery, Jonathan, or Matthias about his current relationship. Despite Maria's reasoning about not making a relationship public, he still worried that the reasoning wouldn't be enough to convince them. He had told Hercules that he was fine with public affection, even looked forward to it, and if that was true... why was he scared to tell his friends about it? They should be the first people he would tell, especially with something like this. 

 _Does that make me a biased or a lair?_ Aaron contemplated, scanning the darkened phone screen with vigor. What made those two things different?

 _Is doing something in front of a stranger easier than doing it in front of someone you know?_ Aaron asked himself, half-expecting an answer, but couldn't quiet logically reply.

Aaron inwardly groaned; he hates Sociology. He liked logic, not theory. Things that were logical happened naturally, like mathematics, but things that were theoretical needed to be tested and contemplated. He enjoyed it when things were automatically set in stone, like a pamphlet that always lead the reader to the right direction.

 _Ah,_  Aaron snarked himself, _But if you liked logic over theory, you wouldn't have gone into law._  Aaron bitterly reminded himself that he went into law out of spite. He was about to bristle, but felt the brush of finger tips over his sides. He jumped in surprise, straightening out his back and dropped his phone face-flat on the kitchen table he sat at. Aaron took the time to study who's hands were wrapping around his stomach, analyzing them as Hercules's and looked back to try and see his face. Though, he noticed that Hercules was leaning forward and inferred he was going to set his chin on his shoulder, so he looked back to his phone and lifted it up to see if he got any texts.None.

"What're you doin'?" Hercules chirped, giving him a hard kiss to his cheek. Aaron almost allowed himself to melt into it.

"Staring at my phone," He answered in his naturally calm tone, deciding he wasn't in the mood to be playful or sarcastic.

"What for? Gonna try turning it on with your mind?" Herc asked curiously, nuzzling into his neck.

Never-mind, Aaron's got a bit of playfulness left in his system, "Of course, It's my life goal."

Aaron smiled when Hercules laughed, pausing at the slight shuffle and huff from the living-room. He knew it was Alexander who huffed, and Lafayette was in the garden, so logically it was John that went to him to cause the huff. Naturally, this means they're out of ear-shot. Aaron contemplated telling Hercules about what was happening and ask him how to handle it. Would he be helpful about it? Or would he get defensive?

 _When have you ever seen Hercules get defensive?_ Aaron pondered, tilting his chin up a bit when Hercules moved his hug from around his stomach to lightly wrap around his shoulders and neck. 

"You feelin' okay?" Hercules asked, voice quiet and cautious. 

 _God bless him,_ Aaron thought, wanting to whip around and hug Hercules right there to tell him  _No,_ he wasn't feeling okay. Though, Aaron knew better then that; He was an adult, he can handle himself... but, Hercules was asking.

"... No," He said finally, deciding that he should follow the silver rule of relationships: honesty.

"Wanna tell me what's wrong?" Hercules asked, not pressing, but encouraging him. Aaron quickly composed the sentence he wanted to say, taking a soft breath in and out, "I think I should go back to my apartment."

"You do?" He sounded surprised, and Aaron supposed he would be surprised too. Truth be told, he didn't want to go back. It was cold and quiet there, while here it was welcoming and he always had someone to talk to- if he wanted to. But, with his friends and Jacques coming tomorrow, he knew it would be a train-wreck to do it here at his boyfriend's home. Besides, it would be disrespectful for him to just let his friends _stay_  in a home he didn't have any right to.

"Yeah, I do." Aaron nodded, setting his phone down and shifted to turn the stool he sat on around to face Hercules. He didn't look as surprised as he earlier sounded, instead concerned but understanding.

"Alex won't like that," He said finally, playfully. Aaron allowed a crack of a smile to come to his face, nodding, "I didn't expect it to go down willingly with any of you."

"It's not because of us, is it?" Hercules asked, akin to what a small puppy might sound like if it could speak.

"No, never," Aaron shook his head, "I just... I just need to familiar myself with living on my own again. You've been very helpful to me, and I'm grateful for that, but I shouldn't take advantage of it."

"Take advantage all y'want!" Hercules grinned, but did nod in acknowledgement. When Herc turned to leave, probably to make the others aware of what he planned to do, Aaron hurriedly raised his hand and called his name quietly, beckoning him over with a small gesture. As Hercules got in his arm-length, he threw his hands out to pull him closer and quickly hugged him. He's grateful for Herc, especially with how understanding and cheerful he is. 

"Thank you." Aaron said, squeezing a bit and stifled a squeak when Hercules squeezed him right back- note, with ten times as much strength as Aaron had squeezed him with. "Of course," Hercules said gently, "anytime."

Aaron breathed out in relief, slowly letting go and smiled when Hercules didn't let go right after him. In fact, he held the hug for a good five more seconds before retreating at a slow pace. 

"I'mma go tell the others, maybe I can calm them down so they don't resort to locking you in a room." Hercules joked, though Aaron had a haunting suspicion he was half-serious.

"Okay." He nodded.

 

It was less then three minutes later and Aaron hears exclaims of three different kinds. One, Alexander's exclaim of disbelief and rage, two, John's exclaim of surprise and fear (followed by a thump), and three, Hercules's exclaim of shock and worry. Aaron had turned back to stare at his phone by the time this happened, so he instantly jerked his attention back to the three and thought of the worst possible outcome: Stephen Webb came back and he's here for revenge. Aaron felt a sudden longing for the spider, slightly regretful that he didn't keep him when he could. The spider could have been his pal.

He stepped off the stool he sat on, blinking in surprise to see Alexander and John rush in. Alexander looked livid, John appeared more fearful than anything, and Hercules bursted in right after them. He looked distraught.

 _Oh,_ Aaron realized, quickly looking to Alex in expectance and put his hands into his pockets.

"Hey." He greeted simply.

"You wanna go back to the apartment?" Alexander started, furrowing his eyebrows. Aaron caught John texting furiously, alongside Hercules, but he decided to keep his attention on Alex.

"I think I'm well enough too, and I don't feel like intruding and overusing your endless kindness is apart of my morals." Aaron explained softly.

 

 

 

lyaf: What is going on

john.looksie: AlEXANDER IS FIGHTIN AARON N TRYING TO KEEP HIM HERE OBVI

john.looksie: As HE SHOULD

Herc aderp: CMON HE'S LIKE A CAGED BIRD

Herc aderp: GOTTA LET HIM FR E E 

lyaf: NON NON. IM ON MY WAY

 

 

 

"But- But you're not overusing anything!" Alexander started, and Aaron felt a familiar tug in his stomach. He's gonna need to "lawyer" him, and Aaron usually regrets using his persuasive abilities on Alexander, but this was a special cause. He needed to specifically be alone for this. Maybe he could bargain? "You're welcomed here- you always have been. It's not some free trip or anything, it's you having full access and rights to this house." Alexander finished.

"Yeah," John echoed helpfully.

"It's me being catered to by helpful people-" "catered to by loving boyfriends," Alexander snipped. Aaron almost blinked in surprise, not expecting him to cut him off. Alexander's never done that before. Does he really feel so strongly about this?

"I'm better." Aaron said, trying a different approach.

"You think you're better. You should be by people, with us," Alexander continued.

"He's right, Burr," Lafayette's voice suddenly jumped in. Aaron snapped his eyes over to the man as he walked in, quickly glancing away and shuffled back. He felt slightly cornered, but he should have expected that. He needs to get something across, something they can't rebut.

"I've been by you all," Aaron said carefully, "I've been by people. I've enjoyed it, I really have, but... it also takes some solitude, and I'm just not getting that here." Aaron explained, kicking himself mentally for lying, "I'll come back, how about that?" He suggested, looking at Alexander and than to Lafayette.

"Come back tomorrow." Laf' ruled.

"I'll come back... Monday." Aaron said softly, deciding that was a good day. That would be the day Montgomery, Johnathan, and Matthias would be gone. Aaron quickly reminded himself that Jacques was there as well, stomach coiling nauseously.

"Monday." Alexander said, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Monday. I'll go to work, come back home with you." Aaron eyed him, bargaining cautiously.

"That's a great deal," Hercules jumped in. Aaron flashed a grateful glance at him, a flicker of a smile coming up. 

"Monday can work," John added, bumping up Aaron's self-confidence a notch. He has two of them agreeing, he needs Lafayette and Alexander to. He looked back to them expectantly, scanning their faces. Lafayette gave a hesitant nod, whilst Alexander remained hard-willed.

"You'll come back with me, and stay for a week." Alexander decided finally.

 _Of course!_ Aaron thought, smiling and nodded. 

 

 

 

Herc aderp: Yo lemme just say that Aaron is skinny as fuck like it wasn't the white tank top that one time it's just him

Herc aderp: I felt like I was gonna crush his ribs when I hugged him

ginger.ale[x]: Feed him

john.looksie: Yk thats a gr8 idea m8

lyaf: If only

john.looksie: we didnt

Herc aderp: set him free

ginger.ale[x]: HERC WE LET HIM GO INTO THE COLD WORLD

john.looksie: Isnt that exactly what Aaron said about Stephen

lyaf: Ew

Herc aderp: HE COMIN BAAACKKK CMON HOE

ginger.ale[x]: WHAT IF HE CHOKES ON CEREAL

lyaf: Wh

lyaf: CAN YOU DO THAT

john.looksie: GooGLE IT

ginger.ale[x]: LISTEN PUNKS

ginger.ale[x]: I THINK WE SHOULD STALK AARON

Herc aderp: ALEX WE ALL KNOW HOW YOUR STALKING ABILITIES GO

ginger.ale[x]: THEY WORK DONT THEY

Herc aderp: NO

john.looksie: I for one agree with Alex we should stalk Aaron

john.looksie: Which is why I put security cameras in Aaron's home

Herc aderp: Wait are you serious

ginger.ale[x]: Holy shit what John

john.looksie: NaHH IM KIDDIN 

john.looksie: CaN YOU IMAGINE THO

Herc aderp: I would have?? Been so proud??

ginger.ale[x]: Dammit John

lyaf: YOU CAN CHOKE ON CEREAL NO MORE CEREAL IN THIS HOUSEHOLD

john.looksie: LyAF LMFAO

Herc aderp: AARON TEXTED ME

ginger.ale[x]: HERC STOP STEALING AARON

Herc aderp: omfgG Aaron said he went to go find his cereal and opened the top cupboard, then realized it wasnt there and knelt down to the middle cupboard, picked up his cereal, and stood up and slammed his head right into the top cupboard door bc he didn't close it

lyaf: CEREAL IS BANNED

ginger.ale[x]: AHAHAHAAAA

john.looksie: ImM SCREAMING HOW DOES HE EXPECT US TO BELIEVE HE CAN LIVE ALONE WHEN HE'S LIKE THIS

Herc aderp: HE SAID THE SAME EXACT THING

Herc aderp sent a photo with the caption: Screencap

Herc aderp: AARON IS A MESS N I LOVE HIM

lyaf: HUE

john.looksie: "I'm getting a nanny this is ridiculous"

ginger.ale[x]: "All that trouble for captain crunch???"

john.looksie: "Your ancestors are real proud rn" omFG HERC SAVAGE

Herc aderp: I CANT WITH THIS CHILD

lyaf: TELL HIM CAPTAIN CRUNCH IS THE SHIT

Herc aderp: HE SAYS HE AGREES

ginger.ale[x]: LYAF WHAT HAPPEN TO NO CEREAL

lyaf: SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE IS A SIN BUT WE DO IT ANYWAY WHY CANT WE DO CEREAL

john.looksie: ImM S C R E AM IN G

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thanksgiving!!! I love ya'll, you guys are the best readers (especially those who comment regularly on every chapter update omfg THANK YOU)


	47. Chapter 47

a.burr: I just hit my head.

matty: why

a.burr: what do you mean "why" It just happened

Jon.BallIsLife: Nothing "just happens" with you

a.burr: My doors are closed go to a hotel

matty: Welp better tell Monty

Jon.BallIsLife: Speaking of Montgomery, he wanted to know if you're dressed nicely

a.burr: I'm dressed

a.burr: Isnt that enough

matty: burr istg

Jon.BallIsLife: Aaron we're trying to set you up

a.burr: For doom

 

 

Aaron sighed, tossing his phone on the island in his apartment kitchen and moved on to get himself a glass of water. After hitting his head on the cupboard, he didn't want to eat anymore. There was a painful throb on the left side of his cranium, pulsing with heat. Why wasn't he more careful? Aaron rolled his eyes at his idiocy. 

 _What would have Lafayette done if he saw me do that?_ He thought curiously, looking back at his phone and blinked. He sort-of missed the boys. Aaron turned around, moving to snatch his phone up and started a chat with Hercules. He wouldn't mind talking to him.

 

_a.burr has started a chat with Herc aderp!_

a.burr: I went to go find cereal, because I forgot breakfast this morning, and opened the top cupboard in the kitchen, thinking it was there.

Herc aderp: Plot twist it wasnt

a.burr: Obviously it wasn't because nothing goes according to plan

Herc aderp: kNEW IT

a.burr: so I bend down to check the cupboard under that and sure enough the cereal box was there.

a.burr: I take the cereal out and stand up- thus slamming my head into the door of the top cupboard because I didn't shut it.

Herc aderp: OMF

a.burr: That just made me wonder how I could expect you guys to believe me when I said I could live on my own

Herc aderp: AARON ARE YOU OKAY

a.burr: I'm getting a nanny this is ridiculous

Herc aderp: BABY

a.burr: All that trouble for captain crunch???

Herc aderp: WAS THE CEREAL GOOD

a.burr: I DIDNT EVEN E A T IT

Herc aderp: Your ancestors are real proud rn

 

 

Aaron laughed, quickly looking away and shook his head. He suppose that was something straight out of comedic show. He quickly looked to his phone, texting once again and leaned back against the island. He had some time to waste before he had to put on something presentable, it couldn't hurt to converse with Hercules for fifteen minutes or so.

 

 

a.burr: My ancestors are dead

Herc aderp: well you're not wRONG

a.burr: Am I ever??

Herc aderp: Yes

Herc aderp: Yes you are

a.burr: name one time

Herc aderp: You said Stephen was cute

a.burr: HE IS

Herc aderp: HE'S A FURRY PLATE THAT  M O V E S  NO HE'S NOT

a.burr: HERC YOU'RE A FURRY AND YOURE CUTE

Herc aderp: GAAASP

Herc aderp: Don't bring my Furry heritage into this

a.burr: you're right I'm sorry

Herc aderp: LYAF SAYS CAPTAIN CRUNCH IS THE SHIT

a.burr: TRUTH

 

 

Aaron grinned, quickly leaving Hercules's chat and rushing to check on Jonathan and Matthias. He better make sure they're not too close.

 

 

a.burr: where ya'll

Jon.BallIsLife: fifteen minutes from your house

Jon.BallIsLife: Montgomery is pulling over to let Jacques drive

a.burr: wait fifteen minutes?? BUT

a.burr: DANGIT

matty: AARON DID YOU LIE ABOUT BEING READY

a.burr: MAYBE

 

Shit.

Aaron quickly ran to throw on something presentable. He tossed off his pajama shirt and thrown on a white undershirt, a khaki-orange sweater with a light chestnut brown jacket. He decided black jeans was enough pass off, so he threw those on and rushed to quickly make sure everything was clean. He vacuumed yesterday, set out blankets and pillows and hid them in his closet so that they were out of the way, and wiped down his kitchen. Maybe he should ask them if they wanted him to cook or to eat out? Aaron moved to his phone, picking it up and paused at the three different messages.

 

Herc aderp: Alex is gonna text you lies and deceitfulness

a.burr: Excuse me

 

 

ginger.ale[x]: Herc drank all the fucking soda tell him to buy some more

a.burr: Oh

 

 

a.burr: Herc buy some more soda for the kiddies

Herc aderp: UGH FINE BUT ONLY BC YOU SAID TO

a.burr: Thanks xoxo

 

 

matty: AARON ARE YOU DRESSED YET

Jon.BallIsLife: YOU BETTER BE DUDE

R.Mont: AARON DO I NEED TO DRESS YOU MYSEL F

a.burr: NO

a.burr: IM A GROWN MAN LEAVE ME ALONE

matty: Are you tho

Jon.BallIsLife: You're a spoiled brat thats what you are

a.burr: Fight me Jon

Jon.BallIsLife: ILL DO THAT RIGHT NOW

a.burr: OH YEAH DO IT BRO

 

 

 

Aaron lifted a brow, smirking to himself and jumped about an inch into the air when he heard his front door throw open. He snapped his eyes over in surprise, setting his phone on the counter and thought of the worst; He's being robbed. 

 _How wrong can a day go?_ He thought.

However, instead of the man in a black ski-mask, in hopped a tall man with black hair, dark gray eyes, and a color pallete of black-gray-and-white for clothing. Aaron's jaw dropped in awe, quickly bursting forward to slam into Jonathan's side and squeeze him in a tight hug. 

"You guys said fifteen minutes!" Aaron exclaimed, looking up in surprise and squeaked when Jonathan squeezed him back.

"Jacques broke the speed limit." Jon said simply, refusing to release Aaron from his clutches. 

"Does this mean I gotta fight you?" Aaron asked, grinning when Jonathan huffed and mumbled, "Duh."

"Aaron!" Matthias's voice shot through the air akin to a bullet. Instantly, Aaron squirmed to get out of Jonathan's hug and latched right onto Matthias as he ran into his apartment. Aaron noted that he had a hair cut, his blonde locks didn't seem as long and curly as they used to be.

"You look good," Matthias noted, pulling back from the hug to eye Aaron up and down. Aaron once again realized that Matthias grew at least another inch above him. 

"I wish I could say the same to you," Aaron teased, "I liked your old hair."

"'Kay, I see where we stand," Matt grinned right back at him, rolling his eyes playfully. 

"Loser," Aaron sighed jokingly, pausing at the familiar thud of boots working their way to his destination. 

"The only loser in this house is the one that owns it,"

He snapped his eyes to where the voice came from, heart swelling in excitement. Montgomery was walking in, wearing his normal attire of business clothes and now had a cane as an accessory. It had to be an accessory, Aaron observed, because Montgomery never complained of trouble walking before. His black hair was beginning to gray at the roots too, though it was hardly noticable. Aaron pounced forward excitedly, throwing his hands around Montgomery and squeezed him tightly. 

"Hey," Aaron said hushly, slightly overwhelmed. He's missed him so much, and now Montgomery stood in front of him and it almost felt like it shouldn't be. Montgomery didn't reply, probably didn't hear him. He squeezed Aaron back lovingly, possibly savoring the moment just as much as he was.

"You should have worn a beanie." Montgomery mumbled to him. Aaron couldn't help his laugh, because that was exactly something Monty would say just to diffuse his awkwardness to affection. He quickly pulled back to look at the three of them in excitement, glancing them up and down. They've hardly changed, which was a great thing. Aaron didn't know if he could handle them changing suddenly. 

"Where's Jacques?" Aaron prompted, looking out the door. 

"Getting our bags," Montgomery said- voice toned and proud. 

"All by himself?" Aaron threw his hands up, moving out quickly to help him. Of course they'd leave Jacques to do the work.

"Oh, hey!" Jacques's voice greeted him. Aaron had to glance around twice to realize that he was behind the car, at the trunk getting some things out. He rushed over, starting to throw on some bags to rest on his shoulders and lift up a suitcase.

"How've you been?" Aaron asked politely, looking to Jacques finally when he got piled up. He was wearing a black shirt with some dark gray wording on the front, a leather jacket, and tauntingly tight jeans. Aaron reminded himself not to stare at him too long, so he looked at the trunk and reached out to shut it. 

"Great! Theo and I have been missing you recently, expecially Theo, so I just thought I'd come down to mingle with you and bring the news back to her." Jacques sounded confident, like he practiced the words in a mirror before coming to speak with him. 

"How is she?" Aaron asked, looking back to Jacques and started leading to his house. 

"Fine, she's met someone named Margaret, so I hope they last." He hummed. 

"Oh- that's wonderful!" Aaron chirped, perking in excitement. Theodosia's finally dating someone? 

"She thinks so too." Jacques said, earning a quick glance from Aaron. He was smiling, studying him intently. Curiosity flickered up Aaron's spine, but he decided to brush it off and move on to setting the bags next to the door.

"What about you? What have you been doing?" Aaron prompted, straightening out.

"Well, you know I'm an undercover detective, right?" Jacques asked, setting the bags down with care.  

"Mhm." Aaron nodded, tilting his head and smiled. 

"I'm currently helping this old guy find someone he lost track of. I'm pretty close to it too." Jacques looked at Aaron, pride flickering in his eyes. Aaron supposed he's be prideful too if he helped someone find their lost friend. 

"That sounds interesting," Aaron noted, cheekily nudging him, "Wanna hint to me who it is?"

"Sorry, confidentiality," Jacques hummed, winking playfully, "Though for a price, I can give you hints." 

Aaron's cheeks warmed up. 

 

 

ginger.ale[x]: This is buLLLLL UGHHH

ginger.ale[x]: I MISS HIM SO BAAAADDD

john.looksie: JuST TEXT HIM 

lyaf: OUI 

ginger.ale[x]: NOT AARON

john.looksie: Wait who

ginger.ale[x]: MY DOCTOR

lyaf: Dr. smith??

ginger.ale[x]: DR PEPPERR UGHH

john.looksie: YoURE SO DUMB

john.looksie: YkW I MISS

lyaf: Bored games 

john.looksie: Lyaf it's boardgames 

lyaf: What

ginger.ale[x]: English language sucks babe

john.looksie: NoO I MISS SEX SOMEONE FUCK ME

ginger.ale[x]: R YOU KIDDIN

john.looksie: IvE BEEN A GOOD BOY

john.looksie: IvE WAITED SINCE AARON HAS BEEN HERE

john.looksie: NoW SOMEONE GET OVER HERE OR ILL COME OVER THERE

lyaf: Un morceau de merde langue anglaise me dire bored n'est pas le même que board smh

ginger.ale[x]: Lyaf said meme

john.looksie: LyAF THAT BETTER BE A LONG YES

lyaf: I'm on my way

ginger.ale[x]: I just realized we're all whipped by John omfg

john.looksie: Damn straight get over here

ginger.ale[x]: Yes SIR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I was to leak my insta would yall follow and I could legit ask questions to the readers and see how they would like me to develop the plot and all?? (Not only for this fanfic but the other ones I conduct)


	48. Chapter 48

Aaron shifted almost restlessly on his feet, but his movements were hidden curtly behind the island of his apartment's kitchen. He was watching Montgomery walk around apartment, obviously checking it out and taking in the shape it was in. As he walked, Aaron noticed in minor horror that he was leaning on the cane as he walked. Burr was beginning to think that the cane wasn't an accessory- that Montgomery might actually  _need_ it.

"I like your Tv!" Matthias called from the couch of the living-room, which honestly wasn't far from the kitchen because it was an apartment that didn't have walls to border the kitchen from the living-room, so the shouting was a little loud on Aaron's ears. He should be used to it though, he did live with- with his  _boyfriends_ for a while. Aaron could feel his heart skip at just thinking about them, which was awkward to feel and a little embarrassing to realize. He wasn't love-struck, he's never felt-love struck with anything before. Maybe he did feel a little bit in love with each of them, but in different ways.

"I like it too. I don't get to use it often." Aaron said, smiling and looked over to Jonathan and Jacques. They were in the hallway, talking to each other quietly and seemed to talk fondly. 

 _It's good that they're friendly. I don't think that I could deal with it if they were bickering._ Aaron recalled Alexander and Thomas's dynamic, easily keeping the frown that threatened him off his face. He couldn't understand why they didn't get along, it seemed like they would have. The only thing that Aaron could honestly analyse as a problem would be their work spaces and how they rival each other instead of work together. He leaned against the island of his kitchen, tilting his head and eyed the TV as it skipped from one channel to the next.

"Should we eat out? Or do you want me to cook?" Aaron asked, looking to his friends and smiled when Montgomery turned to look at him. He felt at ease when he knows Monty is watching him, as though nothing wrong could happen to him.

"Eating out sounds fun," Montgomery suggested, looking back to Jonathan and Jacques.

"I'm fine with it," Jonathan said, looking to Aaron and then back to Jacques, who nodded and smiled.

"Not that it matters but I third that," Matthias called from the couch.

"Shut up, Matt." Aaron teased, standing up straight.

"You're still mean. Here I thought the city life would change you." Matt said. He got up from the couch, tossing his remote into the cushions and approached Aaron with a wide, goofy grin. Burr really missed that grin. 

"I'm sorry to say, but the city doesn't make anybody kinder." Aaron hummed.

"Not with the heart-of-ice you got." Jonathan scoffed.

"You're all sassy and idiots. Let's go eat." Montgomery started in, making his way to the front door. Aaron rushed over to be beside him, weary of the cane and his stability. Why does Monty have a cane? Aaron knows he jokes about it a lot, but he isn't old. He doesn't need a cane. Burr swallowed down his worries, deciding to face them at a later time. He just wants to hang out and talk to them.

 _You have to tell them what happened,_ He thought to himself, looking to Matthias and Jon as they nudged each other playfully as they walked. He recollected the party, the way his head ached and body felt pressed against the bed. He cringed to himself, pushing away the memory and rushed to but an arm around Montgomery's. He just wanted to hold onto him. It made him feel protected. _I'll tell them tonight,_ he decided.

 

 

Herc aderp: Aw man did you guys have sex without me

john.looksie: Yes it was gr8 you should join next time

Herc aderp: thats a great idea maybe you should inVITE ME YOU DICK

lyaf: Hue

ginger.ale[x]: Herc are you even done shopping yet

Herc aderp: Yes

Herc aderp: I

Herc aderp: Am

Herc aderp has sent a photo!

lyaf: who is that

john.looksie: JaCKSFILMS OMFG I LOVE HIS CREEPER FACE

ginger.ale[x]: Concerned over ya'lls youtuber obsessions

Herc aderp: I GOT ELLIOT THE SECOND

john.looksie: Elliot the second omfg

lyaf: d,,ammit

Herc aderp: HE'S AN ALCOHOLIC ITS GR8 IMMA GRAB A BEER WITH HIM EVERY MORNING

john.looksie: ThE GNOME IS AN ALCOHOLIC THATS DANK

lyaf: Non

ginger.ale[x]: THATS GR8 HERC IM HAPPY FOR YOU

ginger.ale[x]: ALSO TOTALLY UNRELATED RIGHT

ginger.ale[x]: I THINK WE SHOULD BE SPIES ITS A FUN CAREER IT BUILDS CHARACTER AND TRUST

john.looksie: We're not spying on Aaron

ginger.ale[x]: BUT WHY

lyaf: He wants to be alone, let's leave him be

Herc aderp: K well what if we just like ask him to a date together

john.looksie: He wanted solitude

Herc aderp: K well what if we just like asked him to a date individually

lyaf: ,,,

lyaf: That's... smart....

ginger.ale[x]: Herc how did you

Herc aderp: I'm looking at this billboard and it said to tell that special someone something and i saw two people on it and the dude was giving the girl a ring

Herc aderp: And I instinctively thought gay

lyaf: ,,,

Herc aderp: But I realized it wasnt gay because its a girl so i thought lesbian

ginger.ale[x]: Herc istg

Herc aderp: But I realized it wasnt lesbian because its a guy so i gave up and i realized Aaron would have liked that story

Herc aderp: And then I thought about asking him out to a date and we're here

john.looksie: Herc wth

ginger.ale[x]: i

Herc aderp: A Mcdonalds billboard was under it and im hungry now so who wants mcdonalds im in the drivethru waiting

john.looksie: I WANT A CHEESEBURGER

lyaf: w

lyaf: why mcdonalds

Herc aderp: Ronald beckoned me

lyaf: Clown perverti essayant de voler mon précieux Herc

ginger.ale[x]: K get me fries for one

ginger.ale[x]: For two seRIOUSLY GUYS LETS DO THAT WE CAN REPORT BACK TO EACH OTHER

john.looksie: I mean its not like Aaron would deny it?? Dates are normal for a relationship

lyaf: Of course he wouldn't deny it, Aaron's as excited as we are about it

ginger.ale[x]: K who asks him out on a date first

john.looksie: Oops, me olvidé inglés

lyaf: pas d'anglais

Herc aderp: So like?? They dont sell butterbeer here???

john.looksie: Herc

lyaf: Herc

ginger.ale[x]: Yeah Herc

Herc aderp: What

Herc aderp: Why are we all speaking our native tongue

Herc aderp: OH

Herc aderp: milis B)

 

 

 

_a.burr has started a chat with cosplay.goddess and angelcake!_

a.burr: Who here can keep a secret

angelcake: I can

cosplay.goddess: YOU LOST THAT VIRGINITY HUH STEWART

a.burr: No

a.burr: worst

angelcake: Worst omfg

a.burr: I'm being sketchy as hell, but for a good cause, okay

a.burr: so no snitching to Alexander, Herc, Lyaf, John- hell, anybody

cosplay.goddess: Wont tell em shit they dont text me back

angelcake: That's because you send gifs???

cosplay.goddess: DANK MEMES OVER FRIENDS

a.burr: Dank memes.

a.burr: I'mtalkingtothewrongpeople

cosplay.goddess: The weak are among us

angelcake: Aaron sweetie what's happening

a.burr: Monty, Jon, and Matthias are over 

cosplay.goddess: WHAT

cosplay.goddess: THATS SLICK AF BRING THEM OVER BRO

angelcake: Did you just use the word slick

a.burr: LISTEN NOBODY BUT US KNOWS OKAY

a.burr: AND THATS NOT THE BAD PART I WISH I COULD LET THESE GUYS MEET ALEXANDER AND THEM SO MUCH

angelcake: SCUSE ME YOU MEAN YOU ARENT WITH ALEXANDER AND THE BOYBAND RN

a.burr: I LEFT YESTERDAY HERE'S WHY

a.burr: MONTY BROUGHT THIS GUY I USED TO FLATTER LIKE THREE YEARS AGO AND HE, ALONG WITH JON AND MATT, ARE TRYING TO ENCOURAGE US TO DATE

cosplay.goddess: THAT HOE BROUGHT YOUR CRUSH

a.burr: HES NOT MY CRUSH

cosplay.goddess: THEY WANT YOU TO CHEAT ON THE HAMSQUAD

a.burr: THEY DONT KNOW IM DATING THE HAMSQUAD

angelcake: TELL TH E. M

a.burr: ID RATHER EAT A MILKSHAKE OF NAILS, LEMON JUICE, AND GLASS SHARDS

cosplay.goddess: YOURE SO MELODRAMATIC TELL THEM

a.burr: MARIA IM DESPERATE HELP ME

a.burr: WHAT CAN I DO TO KEEP IT A SECRET 

angelcake: FIRST OFF DONT BE A HOE

a.burr: HOW IS THAT HELPFUL ADVICE

angelcake: MARIA DID YOU NOT HOE-EDUCATE AARON

cosplay.goddess: WHY IS THAT MY JOB

a.burr: I'll get that milkshake ready

a.burr: I'm sorry brb Herc is texting me

cosplay.goddess: TELL ME IF HE ASKS YOU TO SMASH

a.burr: to what?????

angelcake: just go now before Maria defines it

cosplay.goddess: Need stick got stick Becky i found stick lemME SMASH

 

 

 

a.burr: hey herc

Hercaderp: HEY AARON YOU SHOULD GO ON A DATE WITH ME

a.burr: O

a.burr: WHAT KINDA DATE LIKE A SKYPE CALL DATE BC I SUDDENLY DONT HAVE A FACE SORRY

Hercaderp: NO LIKE A REAL DATE

Hercaderp: A ROMANTIC ONE !!

Hercaderp: LIKE I CAN TAKE YOU TO THE MOVIES N THEN WE CAN RUN OUT HALF-WAY THROUGH THE MOVIE BC IT'S SHIT

Hercaderp: AAAND THEN GO TO MY CAR

a.burr: can't we just take john's car

Hercaderp: AAAND THEN GO TO JOHN'S CAR

Hercaderp: AND LIKE THEN WE CAN DRIVE OFF TO SOME REALLY DANGEROUS LOOKING CLIFF

a.burr: sounds legit like every gal's dream

Hercaderp: AND THEN WE CAN CUDDLE OR SOMETHING Y'KNOW

a.burr: Herc I'll cuddle anytime with you

a.burr: We don't needa see a movie we aint even gonna finish

Hercaderp: this is my dream Aaron dont ruin it ok i want the shitty movie

Hercaderp: I want the car ride

Hercaderp: and I want the cuddle

Hercaderp: Or sex like I don't discriminate whatever you feel dude

a.burr: om f g  

 

 

 

 

ginger-ale[x]: SOMEONE TALK TO ME IM BEING IGNORED

ginger-ale[x]: BY LITERALLY EVERYBODY

john.looksie: Did you hear something @Laf

lyaf: no

ginger-ale[x]: listen assholes even washington is ignoring me

ginger-ale[x]: he's having a hoot of a time in his office i can see him

ginger-ale[x]: being happy n shit

ginger-ale[x]: makes me sfurious

john.looksie: Why bc ur dad isnt paying attention to you

ginger-ale[x]: NO NOT BECAUSE MY DAD ISNT PAYING ATTENTION TO ME

lyaf: hue

ginger-ale[x]: AND HE AINT MY DAD

john.looksie: ,,,,,, im not chur dad,,,,

lyaf: that is so outdated

lyaf: get crispier memes

john.looksie: i'll get crispier memes when u stop encouraging the dry culture

lyaf: sorry its against my beliefs to talk to a moisty

john.looksie: OmFG

ginger-ale[x]: GGUUUYYYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

ginger-ale[x]: GWASH IS FLIRTING I CAN SEE IT ITS GROSS

ginger-ale[x]: HE'S BLUSHING WHAT THE SHIT

ginger-ale[x]: IM GONNA TALK TO HIM WHEN HE STOPS BEING A SCHOOLGIRL UGH

ginger-ale[x]: HE'S TOO OLD FOR THIS

lyaf: WHO IS HE FLIRTING WITH

lyaf: NOTHING COMES BETWEEN HE AND THE CRACKSHIP

ginger-ale[x]: THAT ISNT IMPORTANT I JUST WANT HIM TO STOP

ginger-ale[x]: OLD PEOPLE SHOULDN'T FLIRT IT'S GROSS

lyaf: ALEXANDER ISTG ITS IMPORTANT TO ME

ginger-ale[x]: YOU THOUGHT THE SUN WAS YELLOW U CURLY HAIRED MOUNTAIN I THINK U CAN DEAL WITH A LITTLE MORE LIES

lyaf: exc uS E

lyaf: m E

john.looksie: i'd offer you ice for that burn laf but im afraid,,, it'd interfere with,,,, ur dry beliefs,,,

lyaf: IM GONNA CALL HERC

ginger-ale[x]: DO IT

ginger-ale[x]: Y O U W O N T

lyaf: CALLING HIM RIGHT NOW

john.looksie: Alex wanna have wild desk sex

_Hercaderp has added a.burr into the chat!_

john.looksie: Sax

john.looksie: The desk sax yk its

john.looksie: A great instrument

ginger-ale[x]: fuckin gay

john.looksie: LiSTEN ASSHOLE

lyaf: HERC TELL ALEX ITS IMPORTANT TO KNOW WHO WASHINGTON IS FLIRTING WITH

a.burr: ew why am i here

a.burr: I dont wanna hear about a flirtatious boss

a.burr: my boss specifically

Hercaderp: ALEX WHO IS GWASH TRYNA FLIRT WITH

ginger-ale[x]: WHY WOULD I KNOW

a.burr: Because he's your dad

ginger-ale[x]: HE'S NOT MY DAD

a.burr: huh

a.burr: are u sure abt that

john.looksie: GuYS

john.looksie: LeTS MAKE A VINE BUT INSTEAD OF THAT KID SAYING "UR NOT MY DAD" IT CAN BE ALEXANDER

Hercaderp: CE AS ELAFAYETTE PUT DOWN THE PHONE

lyaf: i'm gonna tell him

a.burr: dont u dare laf

john.looksie: what

ginger-ale[x]: o john my poor poor bf

john.looksie: WhAT

a.burr: BRB

 

 

 

 

Aaron looked up from his phone, quickly setting it screen-down on the table. They were at Perkins, sitting in a booth (because Matthias was getting fussy about a table and _NOT_ because Aaron wanted to be squished between Matthias and Jonathan) and waiting on their food to come in. Matthias and Jacques were having light conversation, mostly about Aaron Ogden, Matthias's brother. Aaron hasn't talked to him in forever-- He wondered if Aaron O. even remembered him.

"Aaron's workin' as a life guard now!" Matthias chirped proudly.

"Oh, that's fantastic! At the beach or so?" Jacques asked.

"Nah, he's working at a place called the YMCA." Matthias said.

Aaron looked over to Montgomery, eyeing him as he texted on his phone. He could notice him squinting a few times, seemingly having a hard time reading. Did Montgomery need glasses? _How old is he actually getting?_ Burr's heart lurched awkwardly, eyeing his father worriedly and swallowed down his anxiety. He doesn't want to face the idea of Montgomery getting older-- He wants him to stay the same old man he's known. 

"Ten bucks says he's texting himself," Jonathan whispered into his ear, causing Burr to jump in surprise.

"You're on. I bet he's texting 911." Aaron whispered back teasingly, looking to Jon and grinned widely. He missed this friendly banter. He missed seeing him. He missed them all so much.

"That's evil. I love it. What's he texting them for?" Jonathan asked, lifting a brow and smiled. _He loves that calm smile!_

"Wants to know why the food's taking so long." Aaron grinned when his friend chuckled, watching Jonathan turn his head and grin down at the table.

Aaron quickly looked to Matthias and Jacques, sitting up straight. They were off Aaron Ogden now and onto something about water-- _swimming._ They were talking about swimming. He doesn't remember Jacques being as lame as Matthias.

 _They've rubbed off on him in the matter of a few hours,_ Aaron thought helplessly.

"I feel like you only know how to do the doggy paddle." Jacques hummed, eyeing Matthias slyly.

"You're thinking of Aaron." Montgomery said without looking up from his phone.

 _"Hey--_ I'm right here!" Aaron started, gently nudging Richard's leg with his foot, "Geesh, y'all come 'n' visit and have only been here for one hour 'n' I've already been roasted eighty times." 

"Oh God, he's doing _slang,"_ Jon said in mock concern.

"No, the only slang is rez slang," Montgomery started, looking up from his phone with a betrayed face. Aaron almost laughed because of how idiotic the situation was. What did Montgomery know about _rez slang?_

"Don't embarrass me in front of my friend," Aaron said, pointing his hand at Jacques and looked over. Instantly, Aaron flushed at Prevost's amused face-- he looked like he was enjoying this more then anybody should.

"Oh no, please, continue," Jacques said, grinning at Aaron and gave a playful wink.

Aaron groaned loudly, looking down at his vibrating phone and quickly scooped it up. He needs to zone out these sassy jerks.

 

 

 

 

john.looksie: WhAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN VINE IS DEAD

ginger-ale[x]: HOW ELSE CAN WE WORD THIS FOR YOU

lyaf: dead vine is

Hercaderp: you finally got a meme right laf

lyaf: look im dis boy

lyaf has sent a picture!

Hercaderp: gfdi

Hercaderp: THATS A TOAD ON A STOOL LAFAYETTE JFC

a.burr: back

john.looksie: AaRON

Hercaderp: ITS A FROG ON A UNICYCLE LAFAYETTE NO T   A    T O AD

lyaf: o h

ginger-ale[x]: My body is ready for the sweet release of death

john.looksie: AaRON YOU WONT BELIEVE THIS SHIT

a.burr: What dung am I not believing in

ginger-ale[x]: WHY WONT YOU CURSE

john.looksie: ViNE'S DEAD AARON

john.looksie: ViNE'S DEAD

a.burr: oH NO

a.burr: IT'S ALMOST AS IF

a.burr: IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN DEAD

john.looksie: AaRON YOU DONT UNDERSTAND I AM MENTALLY SHOOK

john.looksie: I THINK

john.looksie: I NEED COMFORT

john.looksie: In THE FORM OF AN AARON SHAPED HUMAN

john.looksie: PrEFERABLY NAKED AND IN MY BED BUT WE'LL SEE HOW THAT GOES

a.burr: STOP

john.looksie: CmON MAN

a.burr: YOU HAVE LAFAYETTE

lyaf: Ne me traîne pas dans ce

john.looksie: YoU GET USED TO THE SAME DICK EVERYDAY

a.burr: IM DONE

Hercaderp: AHAHAHAHHAA

lyaf: SCUSE ME

ginger-ale[x]: AHHHHH SKDBDSDS JOHN

a.burr: IM IN PUBLIC YOU JERK I CANT BE BLUSHING LIKE THIS

john.looksie: oh im sorry here i have a nice room for you where you can blush in private

john.looksie: it comes with 100% off clothes and a side of me

a.burr: sorry already have reservations at the Sinless Hotel were I stay out of TROUBLE

john.looksie: SiNCE WHEN HAVE YOU WANTED TO STAY OUT OF TROUBLE

Hercaderp: SDKSABJS

 

 

 

"Why you blushin' like a stop-sign, kid?" Montgomery's voice jerked Aaron out of his reading trance.

"Don't ask!" Aaron exclaimed, throwing a hand to his face to hide his cheeks and eyes and groaned quietly at his friend's laughs. He's too saint-like for this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey sorry for the *r* word [not consensual sex word] a a a   
> i apologize a lot and shouldn't have used it yikes tm on my part. I didn't know a different name for it but that's still a mistake on my part i'll make sure to not words like that again


End file.
